Part 5 (1/2)
Shaking my head, I said, ”It was nothing. If anything, it was fun for me.”
She covered her face. ”I hit you, for Christ's sake!”
I joked, ”Eh. Not the first time a woman has. .h.i.t me in the heat of the moment. Usually, I'm handcuffed and blindfolded, though.”
I winked again.
She smiled again.
I smiled back again.
Nina leaned in a little, causing my pulse to race. ”You put yourself through all of that, knowing d.a.m.n well that I was gonna freak out on you. I mean, what was in it for you?”
You.
You were in it for me.
”What was in it for me?” I sat up and moved closer to where she was sitting on the bed and scratched my chin. ”I got to watch you go from living in an imaginary place to living in the present. I was able to share it with you because you trusted me. It's exhilarating for me to know I could show you how to live in the moment...because that's all there ever is, Nina. So much stress could be eliminated if we all learned to do that.”
She nodded to herself, taking in my words. ”This moment...right now...us sitting here....that's all there is. I have to keep reminding myself of that. It's easier to do when someone who is centered is guiding you through it. No one's ever held my hand through anything like that. Thank you again.”
”Don't worry about it.”
”You know, everyone at home thinks I'm crazy. They never take my anxieties seriously. My parents, my ex-boyfriend...”
Ex-boyfriend.
I wanted to kick this guy's a.s.s, whoever he was. f.u.c.ker.
It was the perfect window to ask what I'd been wondering since she moved in.
”Is that the guy in the picture in your room?”
Nina shook her head. ”No. No, that's my brother.”
My heart started beating faster. ”You don't have a boyfriend now?”
”No.”
Relief coursed through me even though I had to remind myself that it shouldn't have mattered since I wouldn't be pursuing her.
I felt my d.i.c.k move as her gaze travelled down my s.h.i.+rtless chest and down lower to my six-pack. My pulse quickened when she reached out her hand and placed it over the dragon tattoo on my left forearm.
”What is that?”
My arm tingled from her touch, which felt electric. At any given moment, I felt seconds away from grabbing her s.h.i.+rt and pulling her into a deep kiss. I wanted that so desperately.
I cleared my throat. ”It's a dragon.”
”I couldn't tell at first if it was a seahorse or a dragon.”
”Definitely not a seahorse.” I laughed and looked down at her dainty hand on my arm. ”You know, long after I got this, I read something once that the dragon is apparently a symbol of strength and power. It also said that the power of the dragon must be balanced with wisdom. Otherwise, the greed that comes with that power turns him into a ravenous creature with an insatiable appet.i.te.”
Little did she know, that was a cryptic description of my exact dilemma when it came to her.
The tension in the room was thick when she said, ”Wow. That's pretty intense.”
”Yeah.” I touched my finger to her neck. ”What's this, a sea urchin?”
When she looked down, I slid my hand up and pinched her nose.
She laughed. ”You tricked me.”
”It wouldn't be the first time today.”
She rolled her eyes. ”That's for sure.”
Several seconds of silence pa.s.sed. She bit her bottom lip nervously as I imagined sucking on it. You could tell she had something on her mind.
The words finally came out. ”You know, I was really scared about moving here, but it was something I knew I had to do for myself.”
”Why did you choose New York of all places? That's like jumping right into the fire.”
”As much as it scared me, I've always dreamt of living here. I told myself if I got into the nursing program, then that was the sign I needed to make the move. I felt so out of place that first day, though. I really considered just going back home.”
”I'm really glad you didn't,” I whispered.
”Me, too.” She glanced over at the wall and hesitated. ”You make me feel safe. I realize I don't know you from Adam, but what I do know is that I feel more secure knowing you're here. Is that strange?”
Pressure built in my chest. Hearing her say that felt so good and so awful at the same time. She was right. She didn't know me from Adam and had no idea how true that statement was.
You should get out of here, Nina. Please.
I swallowed and said, ”No. It's not strange. I like how honest you are. One of the first vibes I got from you was that you wear your heart on your sleeve. You're not afraid to make a fool of yourself, either, for the greater good. That says a lot about a person.”
”Thanks...I think?” She smiled and lightly punched my arm.
There was so much more I wished I could say to her, but it all stayed inside of me.
Then, Nina looked straight into my eyes with a permeating stare when she said, ”I think sometimes people come into our lives at a certain time for a reason.”
That was the truth. I'd always believed that I was meant to meet Ivy when I did because she was going to need me. At the same time, it felt like destiny in a different way with Nina. I just couldn't figure out why the man upstairs would lead me to her if he needed me to take care of Ivy.
She stayed for another several minutes, opening up to me about her first panic attack that happened in a dark elevator during a high school field trip. She just kept thanking me again for seeing her through things earlier but said she planned to spend the rest of the night studying. She wanted to make sure to get an A on her next exam to avoid another excursion for a while. I couldn't say I blamed her.
My stomach felt unsettled because tomorrow I'd be leaving for Boston. It was the first time since moving to New York that I almost considered staying back in New York for the weekend. But I couldn't.