Part 5 (2/2)
”I sent him a special delivery three days ago, and--and yesterday a telegram. I knew it wouldn't do any good, but I ... I told him everything. He didn't answer. He won't, ever.”
From what Whitaker knew of Thurlow Ladislas, he felt this to be too cruelly true to admit of further argument. At a loss, he fell silent, knitting his hands together as he strove to find other words wherewith to comfort and rea.s.sure the girl.
She bent forward, elbows on knees, head and shoulders cringing.
”It hurts so!” she wailed ... ”what people will think ... the shame, the bitter, bitter shame of this! And yet I haven't any right to complain. I deserve it all; I've earned my punishment.”
”Oh, I say--!”
”But I have, because--because I didn't love him. I didn't love him at all, and I knew it, even though I meant to marry him....”
”But, why--in Heaven's name?”
”Because I was so lonely and ... misunderstood and unhappy at home.
You don't know how desperately unhappy.... No mother, never daring to see my sister (she ran away, too) ... my friends.h.i.+ps at school discouraged ... nothing in life but a great, empty, lonesome house and my father to bully me and make cruel fun of me because I'm not pretty.... That's why I ran away with a man I didn't love--because I wanted freedom and a little happiness.”
”Good Lord!” he murmured beneath his breath, awed by the pitiful, childish simplicity of her confession and the deep d.a.m.nation that had waited upon her.
”So it's over!” she cried--”over, and I've learned my lesson, and I'm disgraced forever, and friendless and--”
”Stop right there!” he checked her roughly. ”You're not friendless yet, and that nullifies all the rest. Be glad you've had your romance and learned your lesson--”
”Please don't think I'm not grateful for your kindness,” she interrupted. ”But the disgrace--that can't be blotted out!”
”Oh, yes, it can,” he insisted bluntly. ”There's a way I know--”
A glimmering of that way had only that instant let a little light in upon the darkness of his solicitous distress for her. He rose and began to walk and think, hands clasped behind him, trying to make what he had in mind seem right and reasonable.
”You mean beg my father to take me back. I'll die first!”
”There mustn't be any more talk, or even any thought, of anything like that. I understand too well to ask the impossible of you. But there is one way out--a perfectly right way--if you're willing and brave enough to take a chance--a long chance.”
Somehow she seemed to gain hope of his tone. She sat up, following him with eyes that sought incredulously to believe.
”Have I any choice?” she asked. ”I'm desperate enough....”
”G.o.d knows,” he said, ”you'll have to be!”
”Try me.”
He paused, standing over her.
”Desperate enough to marry a man who's bound to die within six months and leave you free? I'm that man: the doctors give me six months more of life. I'm alone in the world, with no one dependent upon me, nothing to look forward to but a death that will benefit n.o.body--a useless end to a useless life.... Will you take my name to free yourself? Heaven my witness, you're welcome to it.”
”Oh,” she breathed, aghast, ”what are you saying?”
”I'm proposing marriage,” he said, with his quaint, one-sided smile.
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