Part 9 (1/2)
I opened the letter already knowing, or at least thinking I knew, what it would say.
Dear Fearless:I do not want to write these words but there is no other way. I cannot look you in the face and tell you the terrible thing that I have done. You are a good and sweet man and I am no kind of woman for you. I have been with another man while wearing your engagement ring. I have slept with him. Paris came to me. He took me to the Emerald Lounge and bought me drinks, saying that we were celebrating my marriage. But we got so drunk that when he took me home I brought him inside to make some coffee. I did not mean to sleep with him. I do not think he meant it either. And maybe I would not ever have said about it, but now I think I am pregnant and I could not be with you not knowing if it was your child we was raising. I am going back down to Tennessee now.I am sorry.I will always love you,Brenda Upon finis.h.i.+ng the letter I was certain that I wouldn't live to walk out of Marie's. Fearless would kill me with his bare hands before I could rise.
I put the letter on the table and looked Fearless in the eye. I wanted to say something but the fear Brenda's letter instilled made me mute.
”I went to Orrin's,” Fearless said.
I made a choking sound and held up my left hand.
”What were you doin' there, Paris?”
”She tricked me, man. She said that she wanted me to take her to meet you over there. I thought you were coming but, but you didn't.”
”And then you took her home?”
”All I did was wait to see that she got in the door. I swear. I swear.”
Fearless's face was drawn. He grabbed my left forearm. The pain shot up into my shoulder. I didn't make a move though. I just stared into his intense eyes.
As the seconds pa.s.sed my arm went numb. Fearless blinked and then a tear escaped. He let me go and hung his head.
”I know,” he said. ”I know you wouldn't do me like that. And even if you would, you wouldn't go to my favorite place. No. I figure there's somethin' down there in Tennessee she wants. An' she just point me at you 'cause she worried I'ma mess it up for her.”
”Fearless -”
”You don't have to say nuthin', Paris. I know you know sumpin', but that's okay. If she wanna end this with a lie then I'll let her. 'Cause the only thing that matter is that she don't want me.”
He looked up at me and smiled then. It was a deep, hurting smile. After shedding that tear his life would go on. Before the bruise on my arm was gone he had buried his pain.
13.
THE FIFTH SYMPHONY WAS PLAYING when I entered the Emerald Lounge that afternoon. Fearless sat at the same table where Brenda had cried on my shoulder. His face was tilted upward, taking in the deep percussion of that long-ago music. I was sure that he was thinking about Brenda. when I entered the Emerald Lounge that afternoon. Fearless sat at the same table where Brenda had cried on my shoulder. His face was tilted upward, taking in the deep percussion of that long-ago music. I was sure that he was thinking about Brenda.
”Fearless.”
”Paris.”
I sat down and he brought his gaze back down to earth.
”We got deep trouble,” I said.
”Let's hear it.”
I told him about Hercules Wexler first. Then I went into Bartholomew Perry, Milo Sweet, and Winifred L. Fine. After that I told him about the cops' visit, and finally I mentioned the dead woman in the park who had the same last name as Hercules.
”d.a.m.n, Paris. What's it all about?”
”I don't know. I mean, some parts make sense. BB and his father sell used cars, and so did the Wexlers, at least Hercules. Winifred must have heard something, and so she's looking for BB. The cops lookin' for Bartholomew because of Minna Wexler.”
”Why you say that?”
”What?”
”About BB and the dead white girl.”
”You ever see BB when he wasn't with a girl either white or look like she was?” I asked.
”No . . . but that don't mean he was with her.”
”I'd lay odds that he was, though.”
”But even so, what's that got to do with me?” Fearless asked.
”Kit bought his used trucks hot from BB. I got that from Milo, who heard it from that man lookin' for you-Timmerman. Kit also knew Hercules, and he'd been to a rich black woman's house. That woman is BB's auntie and she's the one hired Milo in the first place.”
”But does that tell us why the cops are after me?”
”You looked for Kit. Maybe somebody mentioned it somewhere along the way when them cops was lookin'.”
”d.a.m.n, Paris. You know I have broke the law a time or two and the cops never got me. Wouldn't be a kick in the head if I went down for somethin' I don't even know about?”
”Did Kit have any partners in the business?” I asked. ”I mean, leasin' the land and gettin' those trucks must'a cost somethin'.”
”Maybe Maynard'd know.”
”That's the guy used to ride Kit in?”
”Uh-huh. He might know sumpin' 'bout that Hercules too.”
”I don't know, Fearless. If he didn't tell you I don't see why he'd tell Maynard. Were they good friends?”
”Not really.”
”What about that big payday Kit was braggin' on?” I asked. ”Did he say anything more about that?”
Fearless pulled his lips into his mouth and shook his head.
I sat back then, letting the bra.s.s horns wash over my recent memories. I remembered being scared awake by Fearless and then by the white man.
”And then there's Teddy Timmerman,” I said.
”What about him?”
”Milo is the one that sent him after you. So it just stands to reason that Milo knows more about you than you do.”
”So then we got to go ask Milo some hard questions,” Fearless said.