Part 37 (1/2)
”Poor Agnes, she s.h.i.+vers and turns cold when she hears me say those sort of things. She is so afraid I am going to lose everything just as I have got it, and oh dear me, I wish I could lose him! If I had not been in such a hurry, perhaps I should have been able to patch things up, and have struggled on a bit longer; but now I am bound hand and foot. His unparalleled generosity”--there was a sneer in her thoughts--”prevents all chance of escape. If a woman lets a man settle any amount of money on her and her children, she cannot very easily back out and tell him that she is going to keep the money and say 'good-bye' to him.”
On this same occasion Mrs. Brenton spoke for the first time on the subject of the Lancing people.
”You have never told me what they said about your engagement.”
Camilla yawned a little.
”The old man cursed me, I suppose, but he had the decency to keep the curses off paper. Violet wrote, of course.” She laughed languidly.
”Violet is always ready to hold a candle to the devil, and Horace sent me a few kind words. Horace is not really a bad sort.”
Camilla was silent a moment, and then she said--
”You know Rupert wanted to go down and interview Colonel Lancing, but I stopped that and made him write instead. I am not sure that it would not have been a good thing for him if he had gone; he would have heard some nice home-truths about me, wouldn't he? It would have been a kind of preparation for what is to come.”
Agnes Brenton had taught herself already not to encourage this kind of conversation. Like Rupert Haverford, she was very anxious indeed for the marriage to take place, but she did not urge it openly as he did.
Where she attacked the subject was on the practical side.
”Why not marry very quietly, and go abroad for two months? You really want rest and a thorough change; it would do you all the good in the world.”
”Oh, I am too lazy!” Camilla said. ”I hate travelling when I am not well, and, you see, Rupert is still so new. I must get a little more used to him before I go rus.h.i.+ng off to the other side of the world with him. And then I must have a trousseau. Besides, we have settled to wait till Easter. Rupert is so busy. He is throwing himself into the _role_ of the ready-made father with the greatest zest. You should see all the arrangements he is making for the children. He bought Betty a pony the other day. I wish he would buy Caroline for me. I am so afraid one of these days she will fly away and leave us.”
She had fallen into the trick of sitting a great deal in the little room that was called Caroline's sitting-room; her one interest at this moment was in putting together a charming wardrobe for the girl, and no one knew how to buy prettier clothes better than Mrs. Lancing.
That same day, after she had been chatting with Mrs. Brenton, she climbed slowly up the stairs to the children's floor, but she found it empty.
No place is lonely, however, that is dedicated to the use of children, and she walked through the large rooms (that no amount of tidiness would keep tidy) smiling sometimes, and sometimes standing and looking wistfully about her.
As she pa.s.sed through the night nursery she paused in front of the portrait of Betty's father.
”What is there about Cuthbert Baynhurst that reminds me of Ned?” she said to herself. ”The resemblance between them is very marked.
Sometimes when Cuthbert is talking I could almost imagine Ned was in the room.”
She put the portrait down abruptly, and biting her lip she went through to the sitting-room again.
”How lovely it would be if I could go abroad with Caroline and the children! I wonder if he would let us do that?” This thought brought a frown. The more she realized that Rupert Haverford had the right to dominate her the more she chafed at her position.
In truth, at times it seemed to her as if she had pa.s.sed merely from one bondage--from one form of dependence to another. This bondage was splendid enough--she was surrounded with every possible thing she wanted or fancied; the magnificence of Haverford's settlement and gifts to her was still the theme for comment and amazement--but, splendid as it all was, it was still a bondage to Camilla. And he had no idea of this.
It gave him such wonderful happiness to share his wealth with this woman.
In the days following immediately on their betrothal he had seemed to walk on air. It was absolutely the first time that the fact of his enormous wealth had given him a sense of enjoyment or satisfaction.
He yearned over Camilla just as if she had been a child. He diverted his interest, the purpose of his life, from all former channels; henceforward it should be planned to run as she would have it run. He had no longer doubt as to her judgment; he imagined that he was beginning to understand her now.
Just because she had shown a desire to be at Yelverton, and to turn away from all the people whom he had regarded as being so injurious to her, he told himself that all those little things (about which he had troubled so sharply) had merely been the outcome of circ.u.mstances, and that she was now drifting into her proper, her natural mental condition. It sometimes angered Camilla that he should suppose she was so malleable, but for the most part she regarded his satisfaction as being satisfactory for herself also.
”As long as he is pleased, what does anything else matter?” she said now and then to herself. ”He has paid a long price for me, so it would be rank hard luck if he felt he had made a bad bargain.”
She stood now a little while at the window of the sitting-room, and then roused herself.