Part 1 (2/2)

Offering all the Satisfaction of _receiving_ Letters with no Possible Obligation or even Opportunity of Answering Them.

SAMPLE LIST.

Letters from a j.a.panese Fairy. (Especially acceptable Bi-weekly. to a Sick Child. Fragrant with Incense and Sandal Wood. Vivid with purple and orange and scarlet. Lavishly interspersed with the most adorable j.a.panese toys that you ever saw in your life.)

Letters from a little Son. (Very st.u.r.dy. Very Weekly. s.p.u.n.ky. Slightly profane.)

Letters from a Little Daughter. (Quaint. Old-Fas.h.i.+oned.

Weekly. Daintily Dreamy.

Mostly about Dolls.)

Letters from a Banda-Sea Pirate. (Luxuriantly tropical.

Monthly. Salter than the Sea.

Sharper than Coral.

Unmitigatedly murderous.

Altogether blood-curdling.)

Letters from a Gray-Plush Squirrel. (Sure to please Nature Irregular. Lovers of Either s.e.x. Pungent with wood-lore. Prowly.

Scampery. Deliciously wild. Apt to be just a little bit messy perhaps with roots and leaves and nuts.)

Letters from Your Favorite (Biographically consistent.

Historical Character. Historically reasonable.

Fortnightly. Most vivaciously human. Really unique.)

Love Letters. (Three grades: Shy.

Daily. Medium. Very Intense.)

In ordering letters kindly state approximate age, prevalent tastes,--and in case of invalidism, the presumable severity of illness. For price list, etc., refer to opposite page.

Address all communications to Serial Letter Co. Box, etc., etc.

As Stanton finished reading the last solemn business detail he crumpled up the circular into a little gray wad, and pressed his blond head back into the pillows and grinned and grinned.

”Good enough!” he chuckled. ”If Cornelia won't write to me there seem to be lots of other congenial souls who will--cannibals and rodents and kiddies. All the same--” he ruminated suddenly: ”All the same I'll wager that there's an awfully decent little brain working away behind all that red ink and nonsense.”

Still grinning he conjured up the vision of some grim-faced spinster-subscriber in a desolate country town starting out at last for the first time in her life, with real, cheery self-importance, rain or s.h.i.+ne, to join the laughing, jostling, deliriously human Sat.u.r.day night crowd at the village post-office--herself the only person whose expected letter never failed to come! From Squirrel or Pirate or Hopping Hottentot--what did it matter to her? Just the envelope alone was worth the price of the subscription. How the pink-cheeked high school girls elbowed each other to get a peep at the post-mark! How the--. Better still, perhaps some hopelessly unpopular man in a dingy city office would go running up the last steps just a little, wee bit faster--say the second and fourth Mondays in the month--because of even a bought, made-up letter from Mary Queen of Scots that he knew absolutely without slip or blunder would be waiting there for him on his dusty, ink-stained desk among all the litter of bills and invoices concerning--shoe leather. Whether 'Mary Queen of Scots' prattled pertly of ancient English politics, or whimpered piteously about dull-colored modern fas.h.i.+ons--what did it matter so long as the letter came, and smelled of faded fleur-de-lis--or of Darnley's tobacco smoke? Altogether pleased by the vividness of both these pictures Stanton turned quite amiably to his breakfast and gulped down a lukewarm bowl of milk without half his usual complaint.

[Ill.u.s.tration: ”Good enough!” he chuckled]

It was almost noon before his troubles commenced again. Then like a raging hot tide, the pain began in the soft, fleshy soles of his feet and mounted up inch by inch through the calves of his legs, through his aching thighs, through his tortured back, through his cringing neck, till the whole reeking misery seemed to foam and froth in his brain in an utter frenzy of furious resentment. Again the day dragged by with maddening monotony and loneliness. Again the clock mocked him, and the postman s.h.i.+rked him, and the janitor forgot him. Again the big, black night came crowding down and stung him and smothered him into a countless number of new torments.

Again the treacherous Morning Nap wiped out all traces of the pain and left the doctor still mercilessly obdurate on the subject of an opiate.

And Cornelia did not write.

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