Part 15 (1/2)

Miss Ramsey belonged to that numerous army of women who fulfil life as they fulfil an appointment at the dentist's--with a desperate sense of duty and shaken nerves. And beside such commonplace tragedies all dramatic climaxes show purposeless. The saints of old, who were sanctified by fire and sword, might well shrink from the martyrdom sustained, smiling, by many who have endured the rack of daily despair.

To be a martyr for an hour is so much less heroic than to be a man for a lifetime.

But in Miss Ramsey's worn little body, incased in its network of nerves, there was the pa.s.sionless determination of her Puritan ancestors. Life had been thrust upon her, and she accepted it. In much the same spirit she would have accepted h.e.l.l. Perhaps, in meeting the latter, a little cheerfulness might have been added to positive pain--since of all tragedies her present tragedy of unfulfilment was the most tragic of all.

Mariana knelt beside her and kissed her with quick sympathy.

”I can't rest,” repeated the elder woman, fretfully. ”I can't rest for thinking of the work I must do to-morrow.”

”Don't think of it,” remonstrated Mariana. ”This isn't to-morrow, so there is no use thinking of it.”

In Miss Ramsey's eyes there shone a flicker of girlishness which, had fate willed it, might have irradiated her whole face.

”I have been wondering,” added Mariana, softly, ”what you need, and I believe it is a canary. I will buy you a canary when my allowance comes.”

For the girl had looked into her own heart and had read an unwritten law. She had seen sanctification through love, and she felt that a woman may owe her salvation to a canary.

”How could I care for it?” asked the other, a little wistfully. ”I have no time. But it would be nice to own something.”

Then they left the hearth-rug and ate dinner, and Mariana drove the overhanging cloud from Miss Ramsey's eyes. The desire to be first with all who surrounded her had prompted her to ingratiate herself in every heart that throbbed and ached within. The Gotham, from little, overworked Miss Ramsey to the smaller and more overworked maid who dusted her chamber.

After dinner, when Mariana returned to her room, she found a letter awaiting her. It was from her father, and, as was usual with his utterances, it was straight and to the mark.

”I have met with reverses,” it stated, ”and the family is growing large.

In my present position I find it impossible to continue your allowance, and I think that, on the whole, your duty is at home. My wife has much care with the children, and you would be of service in educating them.”

Mariana dropped the letter and sat motionless. In a flash she realized all that it meant. It meant returning to drudgery and hideous monotony.

It meant returning to the house she hated and to the atmosphere that stifled her. It meant a colorless life of poverty and sordid self-denial. It meant relinquis.h.i.+ng her art and Anthony.

With a rush of impulse she stepped out upon the fire-escape, the letter fluttering in her hand.

”Mr. Algarcife!” she called, softly.

As his figure darkened the lighted s.p.a.ce between the window-sashes she went towards him. He faced her in surprise. ”What is it?” he inquired, abruptly.

Mariana held out the letter, and then followed him as he re-entered his room.

”I cannot do it!” she said, pa.s.sionately. ”I cannot! I cannot!”

Without heeding her, Anthony unfolded the letter, read it and reread it with judicial composure; after which he folded it again, placed it in the envelope, and stood holding it in his right hand. The only visible effect it produced upon him was a nervous twitching of his thin lips.

”And what have you decided?” he asked, slowly.

Mariana interlaced her fingers impatiently. She looked small and white, and excitement caused her eyes to appear abnormally large. Her features quivered and her tone was tremulous.

”I will not go back,” she protested. ”I will not! Oh, I will not!”

”Is it so bad?” He still held the letter.

”Bad! It is worse than--than anything. If I had stayed there I should have gone mad. It was paralyzing me inch by inch. Oh, if you could only know what it is--a dusty, dirty little house, smelling of cabbage, a troop of screaming children, and quarrels all day long.”