Part 4 (1/2)

First cla.s.s sleeping car. Pa.s.sengers numbers 6, 7, 8 and 9. They discuss daughters-in-law. Simple people suffer from mothers-in-law, intellectuals from daughters-in-law.

”My elder son's wife is educated, arranges Sunday schools and libraries, but she is tactless, cruel, capricious, and physically revolting. At dinner she will suddenly go off into sham hysterics because of some article in the newspaper. An affected thing.” Another daughter-in-law: ”In society she behaves pa.s.sably, but at home she is a dolt, smokes, is miserly, and when she drinks tea, she keeps the sugar between her lips and teeth and speaks at the same time.”

Miss Mieschankina.

In the servants' quarters Roman, a more or less dissolute peasant, thinks it his duty to look after the morals of the women servants.

A large fat barmaid--a cross between a pig and white sturgeon.

At Malo-Bronnaya (a street in Moscow). A little girl who has never been in the country feels it and raves about it, speaks about jackdaws, crows and colts, imagining parks and birds on trees.

Two young officers in stays.

A certain captain taught his daughter the art of fortification.

New literary forms always produce new forms of life and that is why they are so revolting to the conservative human mind.

A neurasthenic undergraduate comes home to a lonely country-house, reads French monologues, and finds them stupid.

People love talking of their diseases, although they are the most uninteresting things in their lives.

An official, who wore the portrait of the Governor's wife, lent money on interest; he secretly becomes rich. The late Governor's wife, whose portrait he has worn for fourteen years, now lives in a suburb, a poor widow; her son gets into trouble and she needs 4,000 roubles. She goes to the official, and he listens to her with a bored look and says: ”I can't do anything for you, my lady.”

Women deprived of the company of men pine, men deprived of the company of women become stupid.

A sick innkeeper said to the doctor: ”If I get ill, then for the love of G.o.d come without waiting for a summons. My sister will never call you in, whatever happens; she is a miser, and your fee is three roubles a visit.” A month or two later the doctor heard that the innkeeper was seriously ill, and while he was making his preparations to go and see him, he received a letter from the sister saying: ”My brother is dead.” Five days later the doctor happened to go to the village and was told there that the innkeeper had died that morning.

Disgusted he went to the inn. The sister dressed in black stood in the corner reading a psalm book. The doctor began to upbraid her for her stinginess and cruelty. The sister went on reading the psalms, but between every two sentences she stopped to quarrel with him--”Lots of your like running about here.... The devils brought you here.” She belongs to the old faith, hates pa.s.sionately and swears desperately.