Part 51 (2/2)
They are animated boys, with, intellects all alive--but, at the same time, obedient and polite. Little David is a regular hairbrain, and a magnificent lad--what a pity it is that he will be lame!”
Louise crimsoned from heartfelt joy over the praise of her boys, and answered quickly to the lamentation over the little David, ”You should hear, father, what a talent he has for the violoncello; he will be a second Gehrman.”
”Nay, that is good,” returned the Judge; ”such a talent as that is worth his two feet. But I have hardly had time to notice you properly yet, Louise. Heavens! it's glorious that you are come again into our neighbourhood; now I think I shall be able to see you every day! and you can also enjoy here the fresh air of the country. You have got thin, but I really think you have grown!”
Louise said laughingly, that the time for that was over with her.
The sisters also, among themselves, made their observations on Louise.
They were rejoiced to see her, among all her things, so exactly herself again.
Handsomer she certainly had not become--but people cannot grow handsomer to all eternity. She looked well and she looked good, had no more of the cathedral about her; she was an excellent Archdeacon's lady.
We transport ourselves now to Sara's chamber.
When a beloved and guiltless child returns, after sufferings overcome, to the bosom of parents into a beloved home, who can describe the sweet delight of its situation? The pure enjoyment of all the charms of home; the tenderness of the family; the resigning themselves to the heavenly feeling of being again at home? But the guilty----
We have seen a picture of the prodigal son which we shall never forget!
It is the moment of reconciliation: the father opens his arms to the son; the son falls into them and hides his face. Deep compunction of the heart bows down his head, and over his pale cheek--the only part of his countenance which is visible, runs a tear--a tear of penitence and pain, which says everything. The golden ring may be placed upon his hand; the fatted calf may be killed and served up before him--he cannot feel gay or happy--embittering tears gush forth from the fountains of memory.
Thus was it with Sara, and exactly to that degree in which her heart was really purified and enn.o.bled. As she woke out of a refres.h.i.+ng sleep in her new home, and saw near her her child sleeping on the soft snow-white bed; as she saw all, by the streaming in light of the morning sun, so festally pure and fresh; as she saw how the faithful memory of affection had treasured up all her youthful predilections; as she saw her favourite flowers, the asters, beaming upon the stove, in an alabaster vase; and as she thought how all this had been--and how it now was--she wept bitterly.
Petrea, who was reading in the window of Sara's room waiting for her awaking, stood now with cordial and consoling words near her bed.
”Oh, Petrea!” said Sara, taking her hand and pressing it to her breast, ”let me speak with you. My heart is full. I feel as if I could tell you all, and you would understand me. I did not come here of my own will--your father brought me. He did not ask me--he took me like a child, and I obeyed like a child. I was weak; I thought soon to die; but this night under this roof has given me strength. I feel now that I shall live. Listen, to me, Petrea, and stand by me, for as soon as my feet will carry me I must go away from here. I will not be a burden to this house. Stained and despised by the world, as I am, I will not pollute this sanctuary! Already have I read aversion towards me in Gabriele's look. Oh, my abode here would be a pain to myself! Might my innocent little one only remain in this blessed house. I must away from here! These charms of life; this abundance, they are not for me--they would wake anguish in my soul! Poverty and labour beseem me! I will away hence. I must!--but I will trouble n.o.body: I will not appear ungrateful. Help me, Petrea--think for me; what I should do and where I should go!”
”I have already thought,” replied Petrea.
”Have you?” said Sara, joyfully surprised, and fixed upon her searchingly her large eyes.
”Come and divide my solitude,” continued Petrea, in a cordial voice.
”You know that I, although in the house of my parents, yet live for myself alone, and have the most perfect freedom. Next to my room is another, a very simple but quiet room, which might be exactly according to your wishes. Come and dwell there! There you can live perfectly as you please; be alone, or see only me, till the quiet influence of calm days draw you into the innocent life of the family circle.”
”Ah, Petrea,” returned Sara, ”you are good--but you cannot approach a person of ill-report--and you do not know----”
”Hus.h.!.+ hus.h.!.+” interrupted Petrea; ”I know very well--because I see and hear you again! Oh, Sara! who am I that I should turn away from you? G.o.d sees into the heart, and he knows how weak and erring mine is, even if my outward life remain pure, and if circ.u.mstances and that which surrounds me have protected me, and have caused my conduct to be blameless. But I know myself, and I have no more earnest prayer to G.o.d than that: 'Forgive me my trespa.s.ses!' May I not pray by your side?
Cannot we tread together the path which lies before us? Both of us have seen into many depths of life--both of us now look up humbly to the cheerful heaven! Give me your hand--you were always dear to me, and now, even as in the years of childhood do I feel drawn to you! Let us go; let us try together the path of life. My heart longs after you; and does not yours say to you that we are fit for one another, and that we can be happy together?”
”Should I be a burden to you?” said Sara: ”were I but stronger, I would wait upon you; could I only win my bread by my hands, as in the latter years I have done--but now!”
”Now give yourself up to me blindly,” said Petrea. ”I have enough for us both. In a while, when you are stronger, we will help one another.”
”Will not my wasted life--my bitter remembrances make my temper gloomy and me a burden?” asked Sara; ”and do not dark spirits master those who have been so long in their power?”
”Penitence,” said Petrea, ”is a G.o.ddess--she protects the erring. And if a heathen can say this, how much more a Christian!--Oh, Sara!
annihilating repentance itself--I know it--can become a strength for him, by which he can erect himself. It can raise up to new life; it can arouse a will which can conquer all things--it has raised me erect--it will do the same for you! You stand now in middle life--a long future is before you--you have an amiable child; have friends; have to live for eternal life! Live for these! and you will see how, by degrees, the night vanishes, the day ascends, and all arranges itself and becomes clear. Come, and let us two unitedly work at the most important business of life--improvement!”
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