Part 6 (1/2)

Or would she? She rolled onto her side and cradled the cat's warm, fluffy body. The cost of Ranulph's bargain had been bitterly high, but she had learned what it was to be beautiful, and that beauty was not an unalloyed blessing. She wouldn't miss the hungry stares of strangers, or the resentment of other woman.

Nor would she miss the endless b.a.l.l.s and parties. After the first excitement of being admired had worn off, she'd realized that she was simply not a very sociable creature. She preferred a country life with her music and a small circle of friends, and would no longer yearn for the delights of London.

And Ranulph's bargain had allowed her to learn the joy of loving. Someday, when the anguish lessened, she would be glad of that.

But now the wound was still too raw. She buried her face in Shadow's silken fur and wept.

Exhausted by tears, Leah dozed. She was jerked awake when one of the housemaids tapped at her door. ”Miss Leah, there's a fine young gentleman called Captain Townley here to see you,” the girl called through the door. She giggled. ”He's just spoken to your father. Is there going to be an announcement?”

Leah pushed herself upright with a gasp of shock. Dear Lord, Duncan had already arrived and asked her father for her hand! She had thought he wouldn't come until tomorrow at the earliest. But he was impatient, as she had been.

She raked her fingers through her hair. She couldn't possibly see him like this. In fact, perhaps it would be best to write him a note. She'd apologize profusely and say that after serious consideration she had decided that they would not suit.

An image appeared in her mind of what his expression would be when he read such a letter. She realized that Shadow was staring at her, disapproval in the great golden eyes. The cat was right. It would be unforgivable to take the coward's way out and leave Duncan to a lifetime of wondering what had gone wrong. When he saw her, his love would evaporate painlessly, leaving him free of the misery that tormented her. She could find some small solace in that.

”Miss Leah?” the maid called again. ”Aren't you in there?”

”Ask Captain Townley to wait in the morning room,” Leah replied in a strained voice. ”I'll be down in a few minutes.”

She went to her washstand and splashed her face with cold water to reduce the redness. For pride's sake, she would look no worse than absolutely necessary. Luckily, her apple green gown was very pretty, one of her London acquisitions, and it made the best of her slight figure and fair complexion. Her hair was a disaster, so she combed it out and tied it back simply with a green ribbon, leaving it soft around her face.

Shadow was watching again. In her mind, Leah heard the words Beauty is as much confidence as it is physical perfection.

Leah blinked, realizing that was true. Lady Wheaton was not a cla.s.sic beauty, but her graceful posture and confidence always made heads turn when she entered a room. Leah had carried herself differently after she'd become accustomed to her faery beauty.

Remembering how she had felt when she made an entrance and known that all eyes were on her, she raised her head proudly. She would not hold Duncan against his will, and she would not weep in front of him.

Farewell. Shadow was suddenly next to Leah, the golden eyes somber.

Leah swallowed hard at this unexpected loss. ”I'm going to lose you, too, aren't I? You came with Ranulph's magic, and now you must leave since it is gone.”

Sorrowfully she lifted the cat for a last hug. As she did, the image of a kitten appeared in her mind. A playful black kitten who would dance into Leah's heart, and soon. The knowledge was some comfort, though Leah knew there would never be another cat like Shadow.

After setting Shadow on the bed, Leah opened the cas.e.m.e.nt, though if the cat was of Faerie, she probably didn't need an open window to leave. Then Leah headed toward the door. With black humor, she told herself that Duncan would be lucky to escape her, since clearly a woman who held imaginary conversations with her cat was half mad.

As she left the room, she felt a comforting warmth in her mind, almost like a purr.

Since the morning room faced east, it was dim this late in the day. Leah entered to find Duncan standing in front of the window, his broad-shouldered form a dark silhouette. Even when he turned, his features were too shadowed for her to read. That was a small mercy, she decided. ”Good day, Duncan.”

”Leah.” He bowed, but didn't come to her.

Her heart died a little when she saw the ominous rigidity in his figure. He must be shocked by her drab appearance. She halted in the middle of the room, reminding herself to keep her head high. She could not change her looks, but she could at least behave with dignity. ”You've spoken with my father?”

”Yes, and he gave his blessing willingly. But”-Duncan hesitated, then said in a rush of words-”before I make a formal offer, there is something I must say.”

Suddenly desperate to speak first so that she needn't hear his confused, embarra.s.sed questions, she said lightly, as if it was a matter of no importance, ”No need to say anything. It's perfectly obvious that it was a mistake for us to consider marriage.” Her gaze slid away and she blinked back tears. ”Farewell, Captain Townley. I enjoyed our . . . flirtation.”

She glided toward the door and was on the verge of escape when Duncan darted across the room and caught her arm. This close, she could see his shocked expression as he said, ”Please don't go. At least, not yet. ”He swallowed hard. ”I . . . I understand that you do not wish to marry me. I'm sorr y, Leah. I warned you that I was not the man you thought. A woman as beautiful as you deserves so much more. But I, too, shall treasure our . . . flirtation.”

She stared at him. ” *A woman as beautiful as me'? Duncan, look at me! I'm as plain as a fence post. People would laugh at you for taking such an ill-favored wife when you can have any woman in England.”

His gaze ran over her. ”You do look a little less spectacular than usual today, probably from worrying how to tell me that you prefer to end our understanding. I'm sorry this has been so difficult for you.” His voice roughened. ”But even upset, you're still the loveliest sight I've ever seen, Leah. I . . . I shall never forget you.”

The sincerity in his voice shocked her. If he still thought she was beautiful, it was because the room was too blasted dim. Grimly accepting that she must reveal herself in all her plainness, she took a candle from the table and thrust it into the small coal fire, then ignited a whole branch of candles so that light blazed over her. She turned to Duncan. ”You're wondering what happened to the girl you wanted to marry,” she said flatly. ”It's quite an interesting tale, though hard to believe. At the end of the summer, I met a faery who offered to make me beautiful, for a price to be paid later.”

She smiled without humor. ”Not only was I made beautiful, but the thought was planted in Lady Wheaton's head that she'd like to present me, and presto! I was in London. Excellent magic, wasn't it?” She shrugged with elaborate unconcern. ”But the faery and I couldn't reach an agreement on the payment, so my beauty was revoked. It would be impossible to believe such a tale, except that the truth is written on my face.”

He frowned. ”Kamana came to you also?”

”Kamana?” Leah said, perplexed.

”The faery.” Wearily he raked a hand through his brown hair. ”She told me at the beginning that the change in my appearance could only be temporary. I knew you and I could not become betrothed until you had seen me as I really am, so yesterday I asked Kamana to remove her spell. She did so with a snap of her fingers, then told me not to worry, that all would be well. I didn't believe her, and rightly so. A woman with your beauty and charm deserves the very best, not an ordinary man like me.”

Leah studied him, looking for changes in his appearance. Now that she looked, she could see that his eyes were no longer golden, but a pleasant hazel with flecks of green, and his hair had gone from near-black to medium brown. Though he was still broad-shouldered and fit, the das.h.i.+ng and dangerous aura that had drawn women like honeybees was gone. Yet he was still unmistakably Duncan.

Perplexed, she said, ”The faery who came to me was male, Ranulph of the Wood. He dwells right here, on my father's land, I think. Could he have transformed himself into a female to speak to you?” Even as she said the words, she rejected them. Ranulph was too wholly masculine ever to take the form of a woman.

Equally perplexed, Duncan said, ”Kamana is from India. She came to England on the s.h.i.+p that carried my uncle and a hold full of plant specimens. After Waterloo, when I was recovering from my wounds, she appeared and said that my uncle had saved her life. In return, he'd asked that I be protected in battle.” Duncan gave a lopsided smile. ”She apologized for not being able to turn aside all harm, but her spell surely preserved my life and caused me to heal quickly. You see why I should not be called a hero? Because of my uncle's good deed, I was protected from the guns that killed my comrades. I deserve no credit for that.”

So that was the source of his self-deprecation. ”Nonsense,” Leah said vehemently. ”Did you know during the battle that you were protected?”

When he shook his head, she continued, ”Then how does a faery spell diminish your deed? As far as you knew at the time, you could die at any instant, as your friends had. It wasn't magic that rallied your regiment and stopped the French advance. It was your courage and skill. Your heroism, Duncan.”

As she scanned his beloved face, trying to infuse him with her belief, she recognized that he had been wounded more gravely than she had known. She went to him and tenderly touched the rough scar that ran from his temple to the middle of his cheek. This was not the thin line that had seemed like an elegant accessory to the dramatic good looks of a drawing room hero, but the mark of a savage injury that might have taken his life. ”To me, you will always be a hero,” she said quietly.

He flinched away from her fingers. ”Ugly, isn't it? In hospital, I couldn't even face myself in the shaving mirror. And there are a dozen more scars in less obvious places.” He swallowed hard. ”When Kamana came to me, she insisted on granting me a season of faery glamour so that I would not hide from society. Perhaps it would have been better if I had not agreed to that, for her magic merely delayed the time when I must come to terms with my disfigurement.”

His voice softened. ”Yet if not for Kamana's spell, I would never have met you, much less had the courage to speak, or . . . or to kiss. I cannot regret that.”

”You're not ugly,” Leah said vehemently. ”Even without faery glamour, you're the most attractive man I've ever known, Duncan. I love the way you look, just as I love your strength and kindness and conversation and a thousand other things about you.”

A startling thought struck her. If she loved Duncan even though he was not the das.h.i.+ng, Byronic hero who had made half of London swoon, there was a chance that he might love her even though she was not beautiful.

She took a deep breath, then asked the hardest question of her life. ”Do . . . do you think you could care for me even though I am plain?”

Amazed, he said, ”How can you think yourself plain? Though you don't glitter as you did, you are still enchantingly slim and graceful, with a smile that lights up the room and eyes as warm as winter fire. Beautiful-at least, you are beautiful to me.”

He cupped her cheek tenderly. ”As I told you once before, when we met I felt I had come home,” he said in a husky voice. ”Now that we see each other truly, I love you even more than before.”

Laughing with joy, she went into his arms. How foolish she had been to think that love was only about surfaces, and that no man could love her unless she matched some impossible ideal of perfection. ”Duncan, Duncan, I love you so.”

They came together in a fierce embrace. As Leah raised her face for his kiss, she gave pa.s.sionate thanks for the miracle of having found the other half of herself.