250 6.44 Townsend Harris Sent Back To Town (1/2)
”Loosen up old man, you're just one foot away from the grave. Why.....? You're too modest and vain to smell your fingers? Or you might be smelling and licking them as we speak here in the garden? Finger-lickin' good, ya? As what Colonel Sanders would say, right?”
Hiko-sama choked on a laugh when I told him his men smelled like pigs and told him to smell his own fingers that smelled like he had just finished scratching his asshole. Tokugawa Iemochi was too shocked beyond words as I used wonderful ways to describe explicit words into poetry. Seeing Hiko-sama stifling a laugh, he knew I am the Hitokiri with a sharp tongue.
”You think I'd shake my hands in you after you introduced yourself? You better not wash your hands in our river. Just by dipping your hands alone would make our dishes turn belly up...!!”
”So, by bringing these men with those matchlocks, do you think your pose of aggression would work on me? Do you treat us; Japanese people are like baboons, chimpanzee and apes? Our intellectual is much higher when combined with your men and you against us alone.”
”Standing around here like fools, does the United States provide fools to hold these guns, brandishing them here? In fact, these men with you just looked like farmers or hillbillies...”
”You came in here with your caravans and carriages... And what do you wished to show us? Things that might interest us in the Era of Modern Industrialization? Hmm....? Wanted to show us parts of your history to us...?”
”Your predecessor is much finer than you. You barge in here like a gung-ho cowboy and what do expect us to do? Bow down to you? You do not introduce yourself to us despite us introducing ourselves to you first.”
”Listen carefully and mark my words, 'How would James Buchanan react at having sucha pitiful snob representing his Office and the whole United States of America with such an impudence attitude and air that you had shown with such exemplary?' would this results you being decapitated?”
Seeing me speak casually upon his 15th POTUS in such a casual manner, one of the 6 unwashed men dropped his rifle on the ground. Luckily it was loaded like our current rifles that might so off accidentally if a round was in its chamber.
”How did you knew of our President's name? Have you travelled to the United States before in earlier months as part of the Japanese Embassy?”
”Where I've been is not an importance to you. The main thing is humility and respect. Your first impression already puts me off. The first impression, lasts, old man. Don't tell me you acted the same way as you first meet your wife? Hey, get over here so I could stick my tongue down your throat. Strip off those clothes and I'd let my little soldier go through the thicket...Hmmph...Yeah...Hmmph... Yeah... ”
My last few words were made into an impression while I was thrusting my groin near his face.
By this time, Hiko-sama cannot contain his laughter anymore and he burst out laughing. This was the second person that had been brought down by me just by mere words and the first person being Asuwaipu Itsumo and no one would be able to take things lying down.
”Alright, look... Things got off on the wrong foot....” as soon as Townsend Harris spoke, he was immediately interrupted.
”Which foot are you mentioning, the one on the ground or the one which is already in the grave...?” I quickly interjected.
”I guess this meeting is over even before it got started. How does it feel to taste your own medicine? It's a bitter pill to swallow, right? Now... Since you know your way here, please do show yourself out. Reflect on your actions and attitude that things would not work around here with yours.”
”If you wish to be respected, you should earn it and not demand it. Acting like a bully would earn just that. Now leave your caravans and leave.”