65 3.22- A Song That Touched Everyone In A Good Way... (1/2)

Tuesday, January 16th 1996

11:23 am at Asahigaoka High School

I was a rather mundane Tuesday right after I had visited Akira in the hospital. Even if yesterday was a Public Holiday and us students had a long weekend, it's going to be a short week after all. After spending some time in the solitary ward as I sat near her bed as usual; I took her hand and told her some funny things that happened during the holiday yesterday. I made up some stories to tell her that made me even believe it was true and it did happen.

I laughed at my own corny jokes as I told my story to Akira, even if I knew she may not be responsive but at the meantime, she would be able to hear whether I was singing, or strumming the old guitar, talking nonsensical, having physical touches with her forehead, nose and hands.

I would recall the moment where I pinched her pouting lips and mimic some birds pecking her while calling out the ”Muak Muak” sounds and yes, I still did that to her almost every time I remembered the moment.

I would hold her cheeks and made her lips curl into a smile and said, ”It's already morning and time for your shower.” Akira didn't actually smile though but I made the cheeks move up and down that curled her lips to smile or to frown. I don't know, it seems childish and if an adult was around, I would be clobbered on the head with a pair of black school shoes, definitely.

Pinching her nose would also make me sounded an effect like as if I was pressing the horns of a yatai as the seller moved from one neighbourhood to another hollering ”Yakimooooi... Shi... Peet pot Peet pot Yakimooooi... Shi... Peet pot Peet pot. Wake up Akira... There's a hot sweet potato for you... C'mon open your eyes and climb out of bed...”

Sometimes my silly antics ended just as they started and as I sat down at her bed I would talk to her with a low and hushed tone.

”Akira...please forgive me. Its been months you had been here... But I'm not complaining and many times the nurses and doctors told me to move on... Yes, I am moving on and waiting for you to flutter your eyelids even for a second, or to grip my fingers as I held your hand... Or even a sneeze when I pulled your nose or even blushes when I pulled your cheeks... ”

”I wanted to be here the moment you opened your eyes... I wanted the first person to call on you and say” let's jump off bed already... There's a MacDonalds just beside this hospital and we can go get some burgers”... I wanted to be the first person to hold you in my arms and to embrace you tight... I wanted to... Tell you that I sacrificed somethings just to make you safe here in this hospital. If I have a home, I'd take you with me and let you slowly recuperate and I'd take care of your meals and everything... Just to get away from here, just the two of us... ”

Tears splattered on my shirt's front as it streamed again from my face. I picked the guitar and plucked slowly... Picked the right chords and strum while I sang through my choked voice.

I love how your eyes close,

whenever you kiss me,

And when I'm away from you,

I love how you miss me.

I love the way,

you always treat me tenderly,

But, darling, most of all,

I love how you love me

I love how your heartbeats,

whenever I hold you,

I love how you think of me,