Part 6 (2/2)

”I'm afraid they don't make you real comfortable, Mr. Parks!” said Mary Sands. ”I should think they might; I don't believe but what you do your part and more too.”

”Well, I dono!” said Calvin simply. ”I try to help out, split the wood, kerry water and like that; two lone women, ye know, no man belongin' to 'em; I wouldn't wish to let 'em feel forsaken any.”

”Do they give you enough to eat?” inquired Mr. Sim.

”Oh, I guess so. They don't feed me any too high, but they don't live any higher themselves. Phrony has the dyspepsy--I dono as it's surprisin' that she should--and the old lady has an idee that eatin' is a snare of the evil one, and she gits along on next door after nothin', as you may say.”

”The idea!” cried Mary Sands, indignantly. ”Mr. Parks, why do you stay there? I wouldn't if I was you, not another day.”

”Oh! they don't mean no harm,” said Calvin; ”not a mite. I git on first-rate so long as they do; it's only when they get to quarrellin'

that I mind. When they fall afoul of each other, it ain't real agreeable; but there's where it comes in handy bein' a man. Hossy and me can git out from under foot most times, and leave 'em to train by themselves.”

He paused, and shook his head with a reminiscent chuckle.

”Last week we had us quite a time!” he said. ”Phrony got some kind of a bee in her bunnet--I dono what it was! seemed to have a kind of idee that she was goin' to git married, if only she had some money. I never see no man round the house, nor yet heard none speak of her; and, too, if she'd looked in the gla.s.s she'd have seen 'twarn't real reasonable to expect it. However it was, so it was; she's got her eye on somebody, no question about that. Well, it's a small farm, and the soil ain't any too rich; they git along, but no more than, I expect; and yet they don't spend a cent more'n they have to, you may resk your eye-teeth on that.

Well, anyways, here's what happened. I come in one night, and the old lady was sittin' studyin' over a letter or like that. When she saw me, 'Cap'n,' she says (always calls me Cap'n, same as she did the old man), 'will you cast your eye over that,' she says, 'and tell me what you think of it?'

”I looked it over, and you may call me a horn-pout, Miss Hands and boys, if 'twarn't a bill from Phrony, drawed up in reg'lar style, chargin' her mother three dollars a week wages for thirty years. Now, Miss Hands, I'd like to know what you think of that.”

”I think 'twas scandalous!” cried Mary Sands, emphatically. ”I think she ought to be ashamed of herself. The idea!”

”Well, it didn't seem to me real suitable,” said Calvin; ”I couldn't _make_ it seem so, and so I said. 'What's got into her?' I said. 'You and her belong together; and what's one's is 'tother's, ain't it, so far as livin' goes?'

”The old lady looks at me kind o' queer. 'Phrony ain't satisfied,' she says. 'She thinks the Lord designs her to be a helpmeet, and that He's manifestin' Himself at present, or liable so to do.'

”Well, I studied over that a bit, but I didn't make nothin' out of it.

The old lady has spells, as I told you, when she ain't just right in her head. Makes me laugh sometimes, the things she'll say. Take last night, now! I didn't have no fork, and I asked her to please give me one.

Honest, if she didn't take and bring me a spoon! 'There, Cap'n!' she says. 'It don't look like a fork,' she says, 'but I dono what's the matter with it. The Lord'll provide!' she says. 'It's all dust and ashes!' Other days, she'll be as wide awake as the next one, and talk straight as a string. Well, about the bill! I told her she'd better let it go, and Phrony'd come round and see she wa'n't actin' real sensible, nor yet pretty. But not she! Next mornin' before I left she come out to the barn and showed me another paper, and--Jerusalem crickets! if it warn't a bill against Phrony for board and lodgin' for forty-seven years! Haw! haw! That's where the old lady come out on top. There warn't no bee in _her_ bunnet that time!”

”He! he!” cackled Mr. Sim.

”Ho! ho!” piped Mr. Sam.

But Mary Sands looked troubled. ”Mr. Parks,” she said; ”you'll excuse me, as am little more than a stranger to you; but yet I can't help but say I do wish you was in a different kind of place. There must be lots of nice places where you would be more than welcome.”

”Mebbe so, and mebbe son't!” said Calvin Parks placidly. ”Folks is real friendly, all along the route. Yes, come to think of it, there's several has said they would be pleased to take me in for a spell, if I should be thinkin' of a change. But old Widder Marlin, she needs the board money, and--well, here's where it is, Miss Hands; I don't know as she'd be real likely to get another boarder. I knew the Cap'n, you see, and he was always good to me aboard s.h.i.+p. But I'm full as much obliged to you,”

he added, with a very friendly look in his brown eyes, ”for givin' it a thought. Bless your heart, this old carca.s.s don't need much attention; it gets all it deserves, I presume likely, and more too.

”Well, I must be ramblin' along, I guess. I promised to pick up Miss Phrony at the Corners. She's been visitin' there to-day, and she'll think I'm lost for good. I tell you what it is, though, Miss Hands and boys; it's easier to turn in at this gate than what it is to turn out again, and I expect I shall be comin' in real often, if no objection is made.”

”So do, Calvin! so do!” cried both twins together. Calvin looked at Mary Sands, and her eyes were as friendly as his own. ”The oftener you come, Mr. Parks,” she said, ”the better I shall be pleased, for certin.”

”Gitty up, hossy!” said Calvin. ”We're late for supper now, and it don't do for me to get too sharp-set; there ain't likely to be more supper than what I can get away with. There's the store now, and there's Miss Phrony, sure enough, lookin' out for me. Now I put it to you, hossy; what was the object, precisely, of makin' a woman look like that? The ways is mysterious, sure enough. There's a plenty of material there for a good-lookin' woman, take and spread it kind o' different.”

<script>