Part 24 (1/2)
Noah didn't say a word to me the entire drive to the hotel. He didn't touch me either. He just sat in the backseat with me on his lap and stared out the window as his chest rose and fell quickly.
And I got the instinct impression that trouble was brewing.
THE MINUTE WE STEPPED FOOT in the hotel suite the adrenalin and pure f.u.c.king rage that had been bubbling up inside of me came to a head. Pulling at my s.h.i.+rt, I ripped it off my chest and slung it over the back of the couch in the sitting room area before stalking off in the direction of the bedroom.
Slamming my hands against the double doors, I stalked inside and away from Teagan.
I couldn't be around her right now.
I was out of control and every time I looked at the bruise forming under her left eye and that f.u.c.king ripped dress, a little more of my sanity disappeared.
Images of the p.r.i.c.k touching her were all I could think of.
How long had it been going on?
Did she love him?
”f.u.c.k!” Grabbing the lamp on the nightstand next to my bed, I flung it against the wall, watching as it shattered to pieces. It wasn't enough to dispel the anger inside of me. Not enough by half. Ripping the nightstand out of its slot, I tossed that too, and then the television, the laptop, and everything that wasn't nailed down.
I should have come back for her sooner.
I should have boarded a plane the day I was released and dragged her home kicking and screaming.
G.o.ddammit, I was so jealous I could taste it.
The thought of him touching her, being inside her, f.u.c.king putting his mouth on her drove me bats.h.i.+t crazy.
The door opened inwards and I tensed.
”Are you going to talk to me?” Teagan asked in a quiet tone. ”Or do you want me to leave?”
Like h.e.l.l she was leaving me again.
We were having this out.
Right f.u.c.king now.
THE MINUTE WE STEPPED FOOT in the Presidential Suite at the hotel, the s.h.i.+t hit the proverbial fan.
Pulling at his black s.h.i.+rt, Noah ripped it off his chest and slung it over the back of the couch in the sitting room area before stalking off in the direction of the double doors at the far side of the room. Slamming both doors open, he disappeared from view.
Slipping out of my shoes, I crept over to where Noah had disappeared, and listened to the carnage occurring on the other side of the wall. The sound of gla.s.s shattering and furniture overturning filled my ears and I cringed.
Steeling my resolve, I stepped inside. The bedroom looked like a tornado had pa.s.sed through it. There was furniture overturned and gla.s.s on the floor. In the middle of the wreckage stood Noah, looking more furious than I'd ever seen.
”Are you going to talk to me?” I straight out asked him, watching him tense when I spoke. ”Or do you want me to leave?”
”When?” he finally asked, jaw clenched.
”A few months back. It only happened one time,” I whispered, knowing full well what he was asking me. He wanted to know about Liam. ”I was drunk and lonely and trying to move on from you,” I added quietly, thinking back to the worst mistake of my life.
”How long?” he managed to grind out as a vein throbbed in his neck.
”How long what?” I whispered, feeling nervous and unsure.
”How long did you wait before you let him put his d.i.c.k in what's mine?” Noah snarled, chest heaving. ”How long have you been messing around with him? How. f.u.c.king. Long, Teagan?”
”It wasn't like that,” I shot back, feeling both embarra.s.sed and rejected. Noah was losing control, he was barely holding onto his temper by a thread and I wasn't going to push him over the edge.
”Then how was it?” I watched as a vein ticked in Noah's neck. His words were laced with sarcasm and pain as he shook his head and laughed humorlessly. ”Don't tell me; you f.u.c.ked him and thought of me?”
”Yes,” I hissed back. ”But you need to understand I thought you betrayed me.”
”How many G.o.dd.a.m.n times do I have to tell you,” he growled as he stalked towards me. Backing me up against the door, Noah leaned down and hissed, ”I didn't f.u.c.king betray you.”
”Don't you think I know that by now?” I demanded, pressing my hand to his chest, feeling all his heat and hardness. ”G.o.d, Noah, don't you think I've realized that I'm to blame for all of this?” Knowing Noah was innocent only made this conversation ten times harder. I had abandoned him. I had left him to rot in a prison cell for five years and I had slept with Liam. I had forced him to the back of my mind and I had carried on with life. I had left him behind. It made me want to scratch my own eyes out. I was royally sickened with myself. And still, when I was in trouble, he was the first one to defend me. To jump in and save me over and over again. I could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve him.
”I know I've screwed everything up. I get it, but you need to understand that your life terrifies me, Noah,” I cried out. ”Your choices, your history, your mood swings, and how you make me feel all scare me to death. You terrify me, Noah!” I choked out, panting, as adrenalin rushed through my veins. ”But when I'm with you, I feel safe, and alive, and like I belong. You do that to me,” I told him. ”You bring those emotions out of me. No one else.”
”You think it's any different for me?” he shot back, chest heaving. ”You are the only thing I am afraid of on this planet,” he roared. ”You have the ability to destroy me. I never put myself in the position to be hurt before you and you rip me open daily. You're the one who's treacherous.”
Shaking my head, I let out a harsh cry. ”What's the f.u.c.king point anyway?” I choked out. ”Nothing I can say can fix this or rewind the last seven years.”
Leaning against the door, I threw my hands in the air in weary defeat. I was in the wrong. I knew it. He knew it. But now I accepted it, and that made it hard to breathe. I felt like a knife was piercing through my heart, tearing strips off my soul. ”There's no way you can still want me ”
”I will always want you, Teagan,” he shot back, his voice thick with emotion. ”There will always be a way back for us.” I watched as Noah clenched and unclenched his fists as he struggled to stay still. ”Keep going,” he ordered in a tight tone of voice as a vein in his neck throbbed. ”Get it all f.u.c.king out, I need to hear it.”
”I've spent the best part of a decade believing I wasn't good enough for you. Believing that I wasn't good enough to keep you,” I admitted, voice broken, with tears streaming down my cheeks as my emotions boiled over. ”I know I was wrong, but back then all I knew was that the one person who I trusted more than my own family, who I loved more than anyone on this planet, had betrayed me. And even then, I still wanted you and that made me hate myself more than I've ever hated you.” Shaking my head I exhaled a broken sigh. ”And then you were released and I never heard from you. Months later you're everywhere; the television, the Internet, the papers. And I had to watch you with those girls, rubbing it in my face on the TV. I couldn't cope with the rejection or the pain so I ran to the one person who I knew wanted me. Liam was safe; he couldn't hurt me because I didn't have any room left inside of me to store the pain. You say you want me, Noah, but I didn't know that back then...so I tried to move on from you. I tried to force myself into believing Liam was what was right for me ”
”He's not what's right for you, Teagan,” Noah hissed. His eyes never left mine as he took a step back and said, ”he's what's safe for you. I'm what's right for you. Me.” He beat his fist against his chest and that small pa.s.sionate display of male dominance caused me to clench tight in antic.i.p.ation. ”That f.u.c.ker wants you,” Noah snarled. ”Wants inside what's mine.”
Regaining the s.p.a.ce he had put between us in two short strides, Noah placed his hands on either side of my face and stared into my eyes for a long moment. ”I'm going to f.u.c.k him right out of you,” he growled before slamming his body against mine and claiming my mouth with his in a kiss so rough, my heartbeat soared and my core pulsed with need. I could taste his blood on my tongue as it dueled with mine, plunging into my mouth, owning me, taking me over.
Pulling back, Noah took my bottom lip between his teeth and tugged hard. ”This is mine,” he hissed, dropping his hand to cup my p.u.s.s.y. ”From here on out, this belongs to me. You got it?”
There were no words in my vocabulary in that moment that I could squeeze out. I wasn't a submissive woman, but this man...he broke all my rules. Nodding my head, I sagged against him, wanting him to claim me, needing to forget that I had let another man touch me where only Noah had before.
”He doesn't love you. He wants to possess you because you walked away from him...when he's had his fill, he will walk away from you and you will be alone.”
Liam's words impaled my brain and I tore my mouth away from Noah's. ”Tell me you're with me for more than revenge,” I asked, breathless and panting.
”What?” Noah grumbled, breathing hard, his eyes never leaving my face. ”Are you for real?”
”Tell me all of this is not just to prove a point. Noah,” I repeated. ”Tell me you're not going to walk away from me when you get bored.”
Dropping his hands from my face, he turned around and strode over to the opposite side of the room and opened the bathroom door. ”I don't f.u.c.king believe this,” he said, laughing humorlessly before disappearing inside only to reappear in the doorway a few moments later with a black t-s.h.i.+rt in his hands.
Tossing it towards me, he said, ”Put this on,” before gesturing at my ripped dress. ”I can't look at you like that.”
”Tell me, Noah,” I growled as I caught the s.h.i.+rt mid-air and flung it down on the bed.