Part 18 (1/2)

Teagan roughly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and inhaled shakily. ”But I should have stayed, Noah.”

”Doesn't matter now,” I shot back, dismissing her regret and the burning pain in my chest. ”I was in a bad f.u.c.king way after the crash, Thorn,” I said, continuing quickly. ”My ribs were all f.u.c.ked up and I had a concussion so when Reese handed me a s.h.i.+tload of painkillers I didn't think twice about taking them before telling her to go.”

Teagan's face contorted in actual pain, but I didn't let that stop me. I was getting this off my chest once and for all, regardless of the painful memories it was resurfacing.

”And then, when I was out of it and too f.u.c.king drowsy to know who was there,” I snarled, chest heaving with anger and pain. ”Reese Tanner climbed on top of me and raped me.”

”No.” Teagan voice was laced with desperation and anger as she shook her head, fervently denying what I had told her like I knew she would.

”Yes,” I shot back, just as pa.s.sionately. ”You wanted the truth, Thorn, well there it is.”

”She didn't... She couldn't have. I saw you with her,” she rambled, voice rising hysterically. ”You were enjoying it, Noah.”

”Because I thought it was you,” I roared back hoa.r.s.ely.

”This makes no sense,” she muttered, arguing with herself. ”I know what I saw.” Throwing off the towel she had around her shoulders, she leapt up and paced the floor. ”Why didn't you report it?”

”I did, Teagan, and they didn't believe me either laughed in my G.o.dd.a.m.n face,” I added, running a hand through my hair and laughing harshly. My body was trembling, but I forced myself to continue and lay everything out there. ”When I came to and saw you leaving, I lost my G.o.dd.a.m.n mind and went after you ”

”You followed me?” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand. She took a step towards me before taking two steps back.

”d.a.m.n f.u.c.kin straight I followed you,” I shot back, chest heaving. ”You were my whole life. I wasn't about to sit back and watch you leave me.”

”But you said you were on house arrest.” Her brows furrowed. ”And you totaled your car at the quarry the night before, so how did you even follow me...” Her voice trailed off and her eyes widened as the pieces of the jigsaw fell into place in her mind. ”Oh Noah,” she croaked out. ”What did you do?”

”I broke into your uncle's house, swiped your car keys, and stole your car,” I tossed out without shame or remorse. ”I wrecked that too, in case you were wondering.” I laughed harshly. ”Your uncle loved that. f.u.c.ker threw me under the bus for it.”

”He pressed charges on you?” she demanded, appalled, as she closed the gap between us.

”Of course he did,” I hissed, throwing my head back in a f.u.c.ked up mix of pain and agitation. ”He wouldn't pa.s.s up the opportunity to keep you away from me for an extra year or two.”

”I can't get my head around this,” she whispered, pressing her fingers against her temples. ”I can't...”

”Can't or don't want to?” I shot back in disgust.

She blanched. ”What do you mean?”

”You wanted an explanation, and I gave you one. You needed an outlet for your anger and I let you use my body as a punching bag.” Reaching out, I caught her chin and lifted her face, forcing her to look me in the eyes and f.u.c.king hear me. ”But if you're waiting on me to apologize for something I didn't do, then you'll be waiting until h.e.l.l freezes over.”

”You're not perfect in this either, Noah,” she screamed, pressing her small hands against my chest, putting s.p.a.ce between our bodies. ”You lied to me too,” she rambled, clutching at straws. ”You were supposed to get on that plane with me. But you didn't. You left me.”

”That was different,” I replied flatly, leaning against the lockers behind me.

”How?” she demanded, getting up in my face once again. ”How is you leaving me any different?”

”Because I left you to save your G.o.dd.a.m.n life,” I roared, cupping the back of her neck and dragging her closer to me. ”They knew you were my weakness and if I didn't fight that night they would have gone after you. They would have used you against me hurt you to hurt me. I was always coming back for you, but I couldn't put your life in danger.”

Pressing my forehead against hers, I inhaled short fast breaths as I struggled to remain in control of myself. ”Admit you were wrong, Thorn,” I hissed, eyes locked on hers. ”Just say it and we can move on.”

She shook her head as tears trickled down her cheeks. ”I can't.”

”What the h.e.l.l is wrong with you?” I demanded, releasing her roughly. ”Why can't you just swallow that d.a.m.n pride of yours?”

”How can I believe you?” she whispered almost franticly as she clawed at her hair. ”How can I be sure you're not making this up? You walk back into my life after all these years and expect me to believe this...c.r.a.p?”

”Because I've never lied to you,” I roared, furious and hurt. ”Not f.u.c.king once. And somewhere deep down in that frozen f.u.c.king heart of yours, you know it.”

”This is too much.” Dropping her head, she let out a harsh sob. ”It hurts too much.”

”It doesn't matter anyway,” I said wearily, feeling the last glimmer of hope inside of me shrivel up and die. Shaking my head, I turned around and grabbed my bag out of my locker before throwing it over my shoulder. ”Believe what you want, Thorn. I'm done.”

She swung around and gaped at me. ”What do you mean?”

”I mean it's over, Teagan,” I told her. ”I'm done.”

”Why?”

”Why?” One word that caused the rage inside of me to explode violently. ”Why?” I repeated again, unable to believe my f.u.c.king ears. ”Are you actually asking me that?”

”Yes why,” she choked out, rus.h.i.+ng around me to block the doorway. ”Why did you come back for me? Why did you sleep with me and tell me all this if you're done?”

”Because I wanted to prove a point,” I roared in her face. ”I wanted to see if I could still get you on your back with your legs spread open, and it turns out I can.” I was an a.s.shole being unnecessarily cruel to her, and I knew I should stop, but I was f.u.c.king wounded. She didn't believe me. She doubted me like every other motherf.u.c.ker and I couldn't get past it. ”You were an itch I needed to scratch Teagan. That's all.”

”Fine,” she screamed. ”Walk away. Leave me.”

I didn't respond. Instead, I turned my back on her and stormed out of the changing room.

”Wanna talk about it?”

Those were the first words Lucky said to me when I walked through the doors of the gym.

I shook my head.

”Just get me the h.e.l.l out of here, man.”

”I'm on it.” He fell into step with me as I stalked up the back stairwell of the gym and out into the street.

Cameras flashed in my face the second I stepped out the front entrance and into the heavy shower of rain.

People called out my name, looking for a picture and an autograph but I couldn't do it.

Not today.

Not with the f.u.c.king blonde fruitcake from my past and that look of disbelief in her eyes. G.o.ddammit, fighting was my sanctuary and in the ring I was king. I couldn't afford to lose focus. I had to stay in control. Teagan was blowing everything I had spent the last eighteen months working for to pieces.

”Noah, wait!” Teagan called out when I reached the rental car, and I threw my head back and cursed loudly.

Ignoring every ounce of common sense I had inside of me that was demanding I ignore her and walk the f.u.c.k away for once and for all, I turned around.

FEAR OF LOSING HIM PERMANENTLY propelled me as I scrambled through the crowd that had formed outside the entrance of the gym, calling out his name at the top of my lungs. ”So that's what this was all about for you to prove a point?” I asked, breathless when I reached his side. ”Why would you do that to me?”