Part 12 (1/2)

He released my lip with a loud pop before thrusting his tongue in my mouth. I fell into it, kissing him back, ma.s.saging his tongue with mine. His kiss didn't set me on fire or make my toes curl like Noah always did, but it was sweet and gentle and familiar.

A niggling feeling of guilt fluttered in my chest when Liam gestured for us to leave, but I forced it away and followed him.

I had nothing to feel guilty about.

Sure, Liam wasn't as tall or as physically muscular as Noah; but at six feet, with dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, and a washboard stomach, he was definitely a catch.

And yeah, kissing Liam wasn't the same as kissing Noah, and holding Liam's hand as we walked back to his apartment didn't thrill me like it had when it was Noah's wrapped around mine. But maybe I didn't need to feel that excitement and chemistry with Liam.

Maybe I didn't need to experience that crazy rush of love and l.u.s.t; hate and pa.s.sion mixing together that drove me to the brink of madness with want.

Maybe those feelings had never really existed at all.

”I don't want this to be a one-time thing, Teagan,” Liam told me in husky voice when he let us into his apartment and switched on the light. ”I was a fool when we were younger,” he added as he pulled me into his embrace and pressed a kiss to my lips. ”Don't think I'm letting you go again.”

”Don't talk,” I mumbled, clawing at his trim waist. I didn't want love and promises. I wanted to move on. I needed to. Liam was the safe choice the wise option. Liam wouldn't hurt me not like he had.

My fingers found the b.u.t.ton on his jeans and I quickly unzipped the fly. ”Take me to bed, Liam,” I whispered, slipping my hand inside his boxers and squeezing his rock hard erection. ”Now.”

MY DRESS WAS IN A BALL on his bedroom floor.

My underwear was cast aside with it.

His thigh was resting on my stomach.

My head was on his pillow, pounding like a drum.

I felt like I'd been run over by a lorry, and all I wanted to do was get out of this apartment, climb into the shower, and scrub my skin raw.

Last night should have been perfect, but it wasn't because all I had thought about the entire time Liam was inside of me was how it should have been Noah.

Even though I had no reason to, I felt dirty. Here I was, in bed with a really decent man, and all I felt was disgust and guilt.

Slowly edging out from underneath him, I rolled off the bed and tiptoed towards the bedroom door, grabbing my trail of clothes in the process.

”Morning, babe.”

Liam's voice filled my ears, causing the bile in my stomach to churn and threaten to spill.

”Hi,” I managed to squeeze out as I stepped into my dress and pulled it up. Shame. I was feeling it by the bucket load as I searched the floor for my knickers. I hadn't worn a bra last night because, let's face it, I didn't have much to hold up so at least I could cross that particular undergarment off the missing list.

”Where are you going?” Liam asked when I had finally found the missing panties and opened the bedroom door.

”Home,” I muttered, as I used the doorframe to balance myself so I could step into my underwear. ”I'll...uh...talk to you later, kay?”

I didn't wait for his reply. Instead, I dashed out of the room, falling over one of my discarded high heels in the process.

Of course, Liam had the curtains drawn in the lounge, making my escape all the more difficult. Slipping on one heel, I fumbled around on the floor for the other. Did I have a purse with me? I couldn't b.l.o.o.d.y remember...

”Here.” Handing me my other shoe, Liam walked over to the wall and flicked on the light.

”Thanks,” I muttered, red-faced.

”Teagan, what's the problem here?” He stood with his hands on his hips and a look of hurt on his face. ”I thought you wanted last night as much as I did.”

”I did,” I blurted out, making my way to the apartment door. ”Last night. But now...It's just...”

”You don't?” he offered.

”Look, I'm sorry, Liam,” I offered, rubbing my temples. ”But I can't do this.”

”Do what?” he shot back. ”Be with me?”

”Be with anyone,” I confirmed quietly before letting myself out.

TEAGAN MANAGED TO ESCAPE her house arrest tonight and I couldn't keep my hands off her. We had only been parked for ten minutes and already; I had her naked and spread open in the back seat of my car.

”Noah, don't leave me on my own...” Teagan whispered, as she clawed at my back. ”Please, I know I'm a moody b.i.t.c.h sometimes and drive you crazy, but I'm putting it all on the line for you... don't let me go...”

”Never,” I promised, as I pushed inside her. Her p.u.s.s.y sucked me in, pulling on my d.i.c.k like a vice and I groaned loudly. Jesus Christ, she was so tight; I could hardly control the urge I had to pound into her. But I had to be gentle. She was all mine. Fresh and new and tender. I needed to take care of her.

”Say it,” she mewled, rolling her hips upwards, meeting me thrust for thrust. ”Say you love me.”

”I'm in love with you, Thorn,” I whispered before claiming her lips with mine...

I woke in the middle of the night with a throbbing between my legs that wouldn't f.u.c.k off. Her voice continued to haunt me, long after I opened my eyes a constant reminder of just how good I had it when I was eighteen.

”You can go now,” I told the blonde who was lying on my hotel room bed.

Picking her sc.r.a.p of a dress off the floor, I tossed it to her before heading into the bathroom for a shower.

I needed to wash the dirty feeling off my body.

The blonde had momentarily sated my needs, but now, I was aching again. No amount of s.e.x from her would satisfy me.

It never did.

I couldn't f.u.c.king get any satisfaction no matter how many times I f.u.c.ked these women or how many different positions I did it.

I was f.u.c.king broken.

”WHAT THE f.u.c.k IS UP WITH YOU, MESSINA?” Lucky demanded when I laid him on his a.s.s for the third time in an hour.

”Nothing,” I growled. Reaching out a hand, I helped him to his feet before climbing out of the ring.

”Grateful as I am for the job and all, I didn't expect to be your personal punching bag when I signed up for this,” he added, following me over to the bench at the far end of the gym. ”d.a.m.n man.”

Lucky was released from prison a couple of months after me, and I had immediately hired him as a member of my team. I didn't exactly have a position available for the guy, but I wasn't going to let him roam the streets looking for work, find nothing, and fall in with the wrong people. Besides, he was as close to family as I had.

”Sorry,” I offered with a grunt before taking a deep swig of water. ”I'm not usually this...cranky.”