Part 18 (1/2)

Soon after this Mr Jerome came to see Frederica, but he brought none of the strong arguments, none of the words of wisdom, that Miss Agnace had promised. He made himself very agreeable to the young girl, told her amusing tales of the lands in which he had travelled, and made an attempt at teaching her the interesting game of ”Tric trac,” before he went away. Frederica acknowledged that he was agreeable, and that his face was not so bad when he was speaking and smiling, as when it was quite at rest. He came often after that; but Frederica was soon able to leave her room and become one of the family again, so that she only shared his visits with the rest. He made himself very agreeable to them all. He was a fine musician, and proposed to teach Selina to play, as he had seen the blind taught in Europe; and of course this gave pleasure to them all. He laid himself out especially to please the boys, Charles and Hubert, and succeeded. Even Tessie who was inclined to be critical and even rude to him at first, yielded to his determined attempts to please.

Frederica would have liked him too, if it had not come into her mind that he was taking all this pains for some other reason than the mere wish to be agreeable. And the same thought came into the mind of her mother. Mrs Vane had some unpleasant remembrances of him, in the days when she had known him better than she did now, and his visits did not give her unmingled satisfaction. But they did not speak to one another about him for a long time. They enjoyed Selina's pleasure, and the pleasure of the little boys, who shared his attention, and went with him on expeditions of various kinds. They had a very quiet time till Tessie came home for the holidays. Frederica was not long in throwing off all invalid habits, and growing well and strong again, but she was quieter and graver than she used to be before her illness, and the summer did not, even after Tessie's returning, promise to be so merry or so idle as the last had been.

CHAPTER TWELVE.

Mr Vane's first letter brought an account of the wedding, and of the gaieties attending it, and his next told them that he had made up his mind to pa.s.s the summer on the Continent, returning to spend a month in England in the autumn, before he went home. They heard afterwards from Paris, and then from Rome, but for a time nothing more was said about Frederica's going to England.

As for Frederica, she said less than she used to do about being ”grown up” and ”sensible,” but she was more thoughtful and quiet than she had ever been before; and, with the advice and a.s.sistance of Miss Robina, laid out for herself a regular course of reading, which she pursued with praiseworthy diligence, considering all things. The reading of the Bible with her mother and Selina was commenced again, and nothing was permitted to interfere with it. She began also to take her little brothers regularly to church, and to listen and try to understand all that she heard there. She did not get discouraged, though there was not much to interest or to instruct in the sermons she often heard.

There was little hope of a happy summer to them, as the days went on.

The heat which last year seemed to bring healing to Mrs Vane, brought this year weakness and nervous prostration painful to see. And something even worse than these came with them, to make the days and nights terrible to her--the fear of death,--death, which she knew to be drawing near. It had come to her in former illnesses, but never as it came now.

Mr Jerome. St. Cyr never spoke many words to her in private, but they had been strong words that she could not forget, about her G.o.dless marriage and her G.o.dless life, which had brought on her, he said, the double curse of ill-health and neglect, and which must end in still deeper misery. She could not forget them, and they woke terrible fears for the future. She told her fears to her children, hoping that they might chase them away as they had chased so many troubles of hers in past years, with playful or loving words, but they knew not what to say, for they too were afraid.

”G.o.d is good, and Christ died for us,” repeated Selina many times.

”Surely that is enough, mama.”

They read the Testament daily to her still, and Frederica searched it carefully for her sake, bringing to her such sweet words as these:

”Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

”For the Son of man came to seek and to save that which was lost.

”G.o.d so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

”Death is swallowed up in victory. O death! where is thy sting? O grave! where is thy victory? The sting of Death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to G.o.d, who giveth us the victory, through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

The clergyman of the church they attended came to see her, and read prayers solemnly and tenderly, and answered the appeal of her anxious eyes with vague words about G.o.d's goodness and compa.s.sion, and how He would save all who came to Him. But his words did not comfort her.

”How can I come to Him? I do not know the way.”

”Mama, Jesus is the way--He says it,” said Selina, who never seemed to forget the words she heard.

”But I do not know Him; I have not thought about Him all my life; I have done nothing good, and it is too late now.”

”But the thief on the cross had done nothing good, even to the very last, and yet Jesus says to him, 'To-day shalt thou be with me in paradise,'” said Selina.

”Yes; let me read it for you,” said Frederica eagerly.

”But he could do nothing, and Mr Jerome says I could give money to clothe the naked and feed the hungry, and that I could give my children to the Church, and then I should be safe. But I never trusted Mr Jerome; I am afraid of him; and yet he may be right.”

”Miss Agnace says something like that too,” said Tessie, ”and I think we ought to ask Mr St. Cyr to give some money, if it would set mama's mind at rest.”

”But it does not say that is the way in the Bible,” said Frederica gravely.

”Yes, it says something like that. Some one was told to sell all his goods to give to the poor. Don't you remember?”

”But it says, 'Thanks be to G.o.d, who _giveth_ us the victory!'” said Selina. ”And there must be some people so poor that they have nothing to give Him back.”

”Yes, and in another place He says, 'I _give_ unto my sheep eternal life,'” said Frederica. ”It cannot be that one can buy it.”