Part 14 (1/2)

”In order: yes, no, yes.”

”In what wise is it dangerous?”

”I've no idea. But I'll tell you this, 'tis only dangerous if you turn the crank, and give it something to think on.”

”Then I'll take the crank off and keep it in my cabin, and use it only to bash pirates on the head,” announced Dappa. ”And I shall forbid the crew to hold conversations with your machinery, unless they are devoid of intellectual stimulation: nothing beyond a polite 'Good day, machinery, how goes it with thee, does the stump of thy crank ache of a damp morning?' ”

”I suggest you pack the parts in barrels, stuffed with straw. You shall also find many thousands of small rectangular cards with words and numbers printed on them. These are likewise to be sealed in watertight casks. Enoch Root may already have seen to it by the time you reach Charlestown.”

At the mention of Enoch's name, Dappa glanced away from Daniel's face, as if the older man had committed an indiscretion, and picked up his dram to take a sip. And that was all the opening needed for the Marquis of Ravenscar to irrupt upon their conversation. He appeared so suddenly, so adroitly, it was as if some machinery machinery had injected him into the Kit-Cat Clubb through a trap-door. had injected him into the Kit-Cat Clubb through a trap-door.

”From one odalisque odalisque to another, Mr. Dappa! Haw! Is it not so! For I take it that you are the writer.” to another, Mr. Dappa! Haw! Is it not so! For I take it that you are the writer.”

”I am a a writer, my lord,” Dappa answered politely. writer, my lord,” Dappa answered politely.

”I hope I do not offend by confessing I've not read your books.”

”On the contrary, my lord,” Dappa said, ”there is nothing quite so civilized as to be recognized in public places as the author of books no one has read.”

”If my good friend Dr. Waterhouse were polite enough to make introductions, I should not have to rely 'pon guess-work; but he was raised by Phanatiques.”

”It is too late for formalities now,” Daniel answered. ”When another begins a conversation with a cryptickal outburst on odalisques odalisques, what is there for a polite gentleman to do?”

”Not cryptickal at all! Not in the slightest!” protested the Marquis of Ravenscar. ”Why, 'tis known to all London now, at” (checking his watch) ”nine o'clock, that at” (checking his watch a second time) ”four o'clock, Mr. Dappa was on hand to greet the d.u.c.h.ess of Arcachon and of Qwghlm!”

”I told you!” Daniel said, in an aside to Dappa, and put his two fingers to his eyes, then pointed them across the room toward the phant'sied spies and observers.

”You told him what!?” Roger demanded.

”That people were watching us.”

”They're not watching you, you,” Roger said, highly amused. Which told Daniel, infallibly, that they were were. ”Why should anyone watch you you? They're watching Dappa, making the rounds of the odalisques odalisques!”

”There you go again-what on earth-?” Daniel demanded.

Dappa explained, ”He alludes to a sort of legend, only whispered by discreet well-bred discreet well-bred Londoners, but openly bandied about by Londoners, but openly bandied about by drunken merry lords, drunken merry lords, that the d.u.c.h.ess was once an that the d.u.c.h.ess was once an odalisque. odalisque.”

”Figuratively-?”

”Literally a harem-slave of the Great Turk in Constantinople.”

”What a bizarre notion-Roger, how could you?”

Roger, slightly nettled by Dappa, raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

Dappa proclaimed, ”England being a nation of clam-diggers and sheep-shearers, must forever be a net importer of fantastickal tales. Silk, oranges, perfume, and strange yarns must all be supplied from across the seas.”

”If only you knew,” Daniel returned.

”I agree with Mr. Dappa!” Roger said forcefully. ”The story of his tete-a-tete tete-a-tete with the d.u.c.h.ess is racing up and down Grub Street like cholera, and will be in newspapers tomorrow at c.o.c.k-crow!” with the d.u.c.h.ess is racing up and down Grub Street like cholera, and will be in newspapers tomorrow at c.o.c.k-crow!”

And then he was gone, as if by trap-door.

”You see? If you were more discreet-”

”Then Grub Street would be unawares. Nothing would be written, nothing printed, concerning me, or the d.u.c.h.ess. No one would hear of us-no one would buy my next book.”

”Ah.”

”Light dawns 'pon your phizz, Doctor.”

” 'Tis a novel, strange form of commerce, of which I was unawares until just now.”

”Only in London,” Dappa said agreeably.

”But it is not the strangest form of commerce that goes on in this city,” Daniel pressed on.

Dappa visibly put on an innocent face. ”Do you have some strange yarn to set beside my lord Ravenscar's?”

”Much stranger. And, note, 'tis a domestic domestic yarn, not imported. Dappa, do you recollect when we were being harried in Cape Cod Bay by the flotilla of Mr. Ed Teach, and you put me to work, down in the bilge?” yarn, not imported. Dappa, do you recollect when we were being harried in Cape Cod Bay by the flotilla of Mr. Ed Teach, and you put me to work, down in the bilge?”

”You were in the hold hold. We do not put elderly doctors elderly doctors in the in the bilge. bilge.”

”All right, all right.”

”I remember that you obliged us by smas.h.i.+ng up some old crockery to make ammunition for the blunderbusses,” Dappa said.

”Yes, and I I remember that the location of that old crockery was p.r.i.c.ked down, with admirable clarity, on a sort of bill posted on a beam next the staircase. A diagram, shewing how the hold, and the bilge, were packed with diverse goods.” remember that the location of that old crockery was p.r.i.c.ked down, with admirable clarity, on a sort of bill posted on a beam next the staircase. A diagram, shewing how the hold, and the bilge, were packed with diverse goods.”

”There you go again with your confusion of 'hold' and 'bilge.' We do not pack goods in the bilge, as it is generally full of what I will euphemistically call water, water, which rapidly turns which rapidly turns goods goods into into bads bads. If you doubt it, I'll pack some of your machinery in the bilge on our return voyage this summer, and you may see its condition 'pon arrival. If you had any idea of the foulness-”

Daniel was showing Dappa his palms. ”Not necessary, my good man. Yet your lading-diagram does does include the bilge, and all that lies in that foulness, does it not?” include the bilge, and all that lies in that foulness, does it not?”

”Are you referring to the ballast ballast?”

”I suppose I am.”

”The ballast ballast is carefully diagrammed, because it affects the balance and the trim of the s.h.i.+p,” Dappa said. ”From time to time we must s.h.i.+ft a few tons this way or that, to compensate for an uneven load, and then it is of course useful to have a diagram of where it is.” is carefully diagrammed, because it affects the balance and the trim of the s.h.i.+p,” Dappa said. ”From time to time we must s.h.i.+ft a few tons this way or that, to compensate for an uneven load, and then it is of course useful to have a diagram of where it is.”

”As I recollect that diagram, the bottom-most hull-planks of the s.h.i.+p are covered with flat rectangular iron pigs, laid down side by side, like floor-tiles.”

”Kentledge, 'tis called. We also have some cracked cannons and old faulty cannonb.a.l.l.s down there.”

”Atop that, you have piled many tons of rounded stones.”

”s.h.i.+ngle from a Malabar beach. Some use sand, but we use s.h.i.+ngle, because it does not foul the pumps.”

”It is atop the s.h.i.+ngle that you pile up casks of shot, salt, water, and other heavy goods.”

”As is the common-nay, universal-practice on non-capsizing s.h.i.+ps.”