Part 11 (1/2)

This-though she said it with dimples engaged-was really more of a threat than a compliment. What was more, Daniel knew that Catherine Barton had said it quite carefully and deliberately.

He decided to stop waiting for the formal introduction of Miss Catherine Barton to Dr. Daniel Waterhouse. It would never happen. She had vaulted over that hurdle with ribbons and skirts a-flying, and obliged him to follow. ”You might enjoy a look round,” she suggested, arching her eyebrows spectacularly. She did not need to speak aloud the second half of the sentence: if you could only manage to pry your eyes off me. if you could only manage to pry your eyes off me. In truth, she was more presentable than beautiful. But she had some beautiful features. And she was very well-dressed. Not in the sense of showing off how much money she could spend, or how In truth, she was more presentable than beautiful. But she had some beautiful features. And she was very well-dressed. Not in the sense of showing off how much money she could spend, or how a la mode a la mode she could be, but rather in the sense that her attire presented to the world a full, frank, and exhaustive account of all that was admirable about her body. When she spun around to lead him across the vestibule, her skirts swirled around her b.u.t.tocks and thighs in a way that made their contours fully known to Daniel. Or he phant'sied as much, which amounted to the same thing. He'd been wondering, for as long as he'd been in London, what it was about this woman that caused great and powerful men to recite appalling poetry about her in the Kit-Cat Clubb, and to go all gla.s.sy-eyed when her name came up in conversation. He should have known. Faces could beguile, enchant, and flirt. But clearly this woman was inflicting major spinal injuries on men wherever she went, and only a body had the power to do that. Hence the need for a lot of Cla.s.sical allusions in Catherine Barton love-poetry. Her idolaters were reaching back to something pre-Christian, trying to express a bit of what they felt when they gazed upon Greek statues of nude G.o.ddesses. she could be, but rather in the sense that her attire presented to the world a full, frank, and exhaustive account of all that was admirable about her body. When she spun around to lead him across the vestibule, her skirts swirled around her b.u.t.tocks and thighs in a way that made their contours fully known to Daniel. Or he phant'sied as much, which amounted to the same thing. He'd been wondering, for as long as he'd been in London, what it was about this woman that caused great and powerful men to recite appalling poetry about her in the Kit-Cat Clubb, and to go all gla.s.sy-eyed when her name came up in conversation. He should have known. Faces could beguile, enchant, and flirt. But clearly this woman was inflicting major spinal injuries on men wherever she went, and only a body had the power to do that. Hence the need for a lot of Cla.s.sical allusions in Catherine Barton love-poetry. Her idolaters were reaching back to something pre-Christian, trying to express a bit of what they felt when they gazed upon Greek statues of nude G.o.ddesses.

There were plenty around. The vestibule was an oval room lined with niches that had stood vacant the last time Daniel had seen the place. The decades since had afforded Roger all the time he'd needed to bankroll raiding-parties on Cla.s.sical ruins, or to commission original works. As he followed Miss Catherine Barton out of the room, Daniel spun round a full three hundred sixty degrees to scan the vestibule. The two servants who had pulled the doors open on Catherine's command-both young men-were caught staring at their mistress's backside. Both of them snapped their heads away and blushed. Daniel gave them a wink, turned, and followed her out.

”I have shown this house to visitors an hundred times,” she was saying, ”and so all sorts of prattle is on the tip of my tongue-all of it perfectly boring to you, Dr. Waterhouse, to whom this house needs no introduction! You know we are crossing the central hall, and that the important rooms are to the left...” She meant the dining hall and the library. ”And the odds and ends to the right...” (servant's quarters, kitchen, back stairs, House of Office) ”and the Withdrawing Room straight ahead. What is your pleasure? Do you need to retire that way?” she asked, glancing to the right. She was asking him if he needed to urinate or defecate. ”Or is there anything you would like there?” glancing left-meaning, did he need to take any refreshment. She kept her hands clasped together in front of her bodice and pointed to the left or right with tiny movements of her eyes, obliging Daniel to gaze into them attentively. ”To be proper, I should conduct you into the Withdrawing Room where we might have a great argument as to who should sit in which chair. But after the war, French manners are quite out of favor with us-especially us Whigs-and I cannot bring myself to be so formal with you, who are like another uncle to me.”

”I should only make an a.s.s of myself-I who have spent twenty years in a wooden house!” Daniel returned. ”Only tell me this, I pray you: if we go into the Withdrawing Room, can I see-”

”The volcano has been moved,” she said, quite solemn, as if afraid Daniel would be furious.

”Out of the house, or-”

”Oh, heaven forbid! No, 'tis the centerpiece of the house as ever, Doctor! It is only that this part of the house, which is to say, the part you designed, began to seem, in some of its rooms, rather more small than suited Roger's tastes.”

”That is when Mr. Hooke was brought in to add the wings.”

”You know the story, Dr. Waterhouse, and so I shall not bore you, other than to say that the addition contains a ballroom that is at last large enough to exhibit the volcano in the style it deserves.” And with that she wheeled around and pushed open a pair of doors across the hall from the vestibule, allowing light to flood in from the windows of the Withdrawing Room. Daniel stepped in, and then stopped, a-mazed.

When this room had been laid out, those windows had commanded a view to the north across a pasture, soon to become a formal garden: a view near to Daniel's heart, as it was practically the same as the one from the back of Drake's old house. But now the garden had been truncated to a court-yard with a fountain in the center, and directly on the other side, a stone's throw away, rose a Barock palace. This room, which Daniel had conceived as a quiet retreat from which to enjoy a vast prospect of flowers and greenery, had been reduced to a sort of viewing-gallery for contemplating the magnificence of the real real house. house.

”Vanbrugh,” Catherine explained. The same one who was doing Blenheim Palace for the Duke of Marlborough.

”Hooke-”

”Mr. Hooke did the wings, which as you can see, embrace the courtyard, and connect your Temple to Mr. Vanbrugh's, er...”

f.u.c.k-house of the G.o.ds was on the tip of Daniel's tongue, but he could hardly throw stones at Vanbrugh since he had started it. All he could summon up was, ”What an undeserved honour 'tis for me, that Vanbrugh should finish so grandly, what I started so plainly.” was on the tip of Daniel's tongue, but he could hardly throw stones at Vanbrugh since he had started it. All he could summon up was, ”What an undeserved honour 'tis for me, that Vanbrugh should finish so grandly, what I started so plainly.”

The chairs in the Withdrawing Room were arranged in an arc facing toward the window. Catherine pa.s.sed between two of them and opened a pair of French doors that in the original scheme had led out onto the long central promenade of the garden. Instead of which he followed her onto marble paving-slabs and pursued her around the kerb of an octagonal pool. It had a bronze fountain in the center of it, a great Cla.s.sical action-scene: muscular Vulcan thrusting himself forth on ma.s.sive but bent legs, having a go at Minerva, the cool helmet-head, who was pus.h.i.+ng him back with one arm. Swords, daggers, helmets, and cuira.s.ses were strewn all round, interspersed with the odd half-forged thunderbolt. Vulcan's k.n.o.bby fingers were ripping Minerva's breastplate away to expose a body obviously modeled after Catherine Barton's. Daniel recognized the tale: Minerva went to Vulcan's forge to acquire weapons and armor; Vulcan became inflamed with l.u.s.t and a.s.saulted her; she, being one tough deity, held him at bay, and he had to settle for e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.n.g. on her leg. She wiped it off with a rag and flung it on the ground, fertilizing Mother Earth, who later bore Erichthonius, an early king of Athens, who introduced the use of silver money.

The sculpture was heavy-laden with clews and portents: with her free hand Minerva was already reaching for a rag, and Vulcan was ominously close to making contact with her creamy thigh. Smaller sculpture groups decorated the ends of the fountain-pool; at the end nearer to Daniel's building, a babe on the lap of a fertility sort of G.o.ddess (lots of cornucopiae) being fed grapes from a bunch. Opposite, near Vanbrugh's building, a crowned King seated on a pile of bullion. As they skirted the pool, Daniel felt a perverse urge to swivel his head and find out just how the sculptor had handled certain particulars. He was especially keen to know from where the water was spurting. At the same time, he couldn't bear to see it. Catherine was ignoring the fountain altogether; she did not want to talk about it, had turned her face away, her posture rhyming with Minerva's. Daniel contented himself with pursuing her across the court-yard, albeit with even less success than Vulcan.

What with so many distractions, they were inside the new house before Daniel had really had the time to examine its interior. Probably just as well; he'd gotten a vague impression of lots and lots of statues, prancing along rooftops and bal.u.s.trades.

”Rokoko, it is called,” Catherine explained, leading him into what must have been the grand ballroom. ” 'Tis all the rage.”

Daniel could only recollect Drake's house, with its bare walls and floors, and one or two plain boxy pieces of furniture to a room. ”It makes me feel old,” he said, baldly.

Catherine favored him with a brilliant smile. ”Some say, 'tis the result of a surplus of say, 'tis the result of a surplus of decorators, decorators, combined with a deficit of combined with a deficit of houses houses.”

And a want of taste, Daniel wished he could say. ”As you are the mistress of the household, mademoiselle, I shall make no comment on what some say.” She rewarded him with dimples. Without meaning to, he had made a sly comment on her Arrangement with Roger. Daniel wished he could say. ”As you are the mistress of the household, mademoiselle, I shall make no comment on what some say.” She rewarded him with dimples. Without meaning to, he had made a sly comment on her Arrangement with Roger.

Daniel found these moments slightly unnerving. For the most part she did not look like Isaac-not even the young, frail, girlish Isaac Daniel had met at Trinity half a century ago. He would never have guessed she had a drop of Newton-blood in her veins if he hadn't known as much already. But during the moments when she forgot to hide her cleverness, a family resemblance flashed forth, and he saw Isaac's face for an instant, as if the author of Principia Mathematica Principia Mathematica were stalking him through a darkened room when lightning struck outside. were stalking him through a darkened room when lightning struck outside.

”Here is a curious invention you may find worthy of your attention, Doctor. This way, please!”

The volcano stood at one end of the ballroom. It was a great improvement on the volcanoes made by Nature, which were so rude, irregular, and unadorned. This one was perfectly conical, with forty-five-degree-angle slopes converging on a polished bra.s.s nozzle or teat at the summit. A semi-ruined Cla.s.sical temple, complete with half-collapsed golden dome, had been erected there, enclosing the vent, which could be viewed between Doric columns of red marble. The mountain itself was black marble, veined with red, and adorned with the usual tiresome menagerie of nymphs, satyrs, centaurs, &c., all sculpted in gold. It probably stood no more than four feet from base to summit, but was made to seem much larger by the base that supported it: a hollow plinth rising from the floor to waist level, supported all round with caryatids in the shape of Typhon and other gross earthy monsters.

”If you come round back with me, Doctor, I shall a-maze you with the most marvelous Screw.”

”I beg your pardon?”

She had opened a hatch concealed in the back, and was beckoning. He came round, squatted carefully, and peered inside. Now he could see a fat cylinder that began in a copper basin on the floor, and ran up at an angle to the summit of the volcano.

”Roger wanted so badly to have a volcano that would spew rivers of molten silver. It would have been spectacular! But Mr. MacDougall was afraid it would set fire to the guests.”

”Which would have been spectacular too, in a different way,” Daniel mused.

”Mr. MacDougall persuaded Roger to settle for oil of phosphorus. It is prepared elsewhere, and brought here in casks, and poured into the tub. The Screw of Archimedes conducts it upwards, it gushes from the summit, and runs down the slopes as the centaurs and whatnot flee in terror.”

”They-flee?”

”Oh, yes, for it is meant to represent glowing streams of liquid fire.”

”That I understand. But how do they flee-?”

”They are clock-work creatures.”

”Also the work of Mr. MacDougall?”

”Indeed.”

”I remember hiring a silversmith named Millhouse but not an ingenieur ingenieur named MacDougall.” named MacDougall.”

”Mr. Millhouse hired Mr. MacDougall to do the clever bits. When Mr. Millhouse died of smallpox-”

”Mr. MacDougall took over,” Daniel guessed, ”and could not stop adding one clever bit after another.”

”Until Roger cut him off-somewhat emphatically, I'm afraid,” said Catherine, and winced in a manner that made Daniel want to stroke her hair.

”Is he still alive?”

”Oh, yes, he works in theatres, making apparitions, explosions, and storms.”

”Of course he does.”

”He staged the naval battle that burned down the Curtain.”

”I believe you. How frequently does the volcano erupt?”

”Once or twice a year, for important parties.”

”And Mr. MacDougall is called back from exile on those occasions?”

”Roger has him on retainer.”

”Where does he get his phosphorus?”