Part 46 (1/2)
”I don't know why you should got objections, Trinkmann,” Feinsilver said, ”and if you did got 'em I would wait for Louis anyway.”
He closed the discussion by spearing half a dill pickle with a fork and inserting it endwise in his mouth. Hardly had the metal tines touched his lips, however, than he hastily disgorged the pickle and uttered a resounding ”T'phoo-ee!”
”What are you trying to do here to me, Trinkmann?” he demanded. ”Poison me?”
He dipped his napkin into the gla.s.s of water that stood on the table and performed an elaborate prophylaxis about his mouth and teeth.
”What d'ye mean, poison you?” Trinkmann cried.
”Why, there is something here on the fork,” Simon declared.
”Let me see,” Trinkmann said, advancing to the table; ”might it be some Bismarck herring, maybe.”
”Bismarck herring ain't poison,” Feinsilver said, examining the fork closely. ”Bismarck herring never harmed n.o.body, Trinkmann; but this here fork has got poison onto it.”
He turned it over in his hand and sniffed at it suspiciously.
”Why, bless my soul,” he roared. ”Somebody has been cleaning it with polis.h.i.+ng powder.”
”Well, suppose they did?” Trinkmann said calmly.
”Suppose they did!” Simon exclaimed. ”Why, don't you know you should never clean with polis.h.i.+ng powder something which it could touch a person's lips? A friend of mine, by the name Lambdan, once puts his cigar onto an ashtray which they are cleaning it with this powder, and the widder sues in the courts the feller that runs the restaurant for ten thousand dollars yet. From just putting the cigar in his mouth he gets some of the powder on his tongue, Trinkmann, and in two hours, understand me, he turned black all over. It ruined the restaurant man--a decent, respectable feller by the name Lubliner. His mother was Max Maikafer's cousin.”
Trinkmann grew pale and started for the kitchen.
”Albert,” he said huskily, ”take from the tables the ashtrays and the forks and tell that pantryman he should wash 'em off right away in boiling water.”
He followed Albert, and after he had seen that his instructions were obeyed he returned to the desk. In the meantime Simon had engaged Louis in earnest conversation.
”Louis,” Simon said, ”I am just seeing Max Maikafer, and he says you shouldn't worry, because you wouldn't lose your job at all.”
”No?” Louis replied. ”What for I wouldn't? I am going to get fired this afternoon sure, three o'clock.”
”Never mind,” Simon declared, ”you shouldn't let him make you no bluffs, Louis. Not only he wouldn't fire you, Louis, but I bet yer he gives you a raise even.”
Louis nodded despairingly.
”A couple of kidders like you and Mr. Maikafer ain't got no regards for n.o.body,” he said. ”Maybe it is a joke for you and Mr. Maikafer that I get fired, Mr. Feinsilver, but for me not, I could a.s.sure you.”
”I ain't kidding you, Louis,” Simon declared. ”Keep a good face on you, Louis, and don't let on I said something to you. But you could take it from me, Louis, comes three o'clock this afternoon you should go to the boss and say you are ready to quit. Then the boss says no, you should stay.”
”Yow! He would say that!” Louis said bitterly.
”Surest thing you know, Louis,” Simon rejoined solemnly. ”Me and Max will fix it sure. And after the boss says you should stay you tell him no, you guess you wouldn't. Tell him you know lots of people would hire you right away at two dollars a week more, and I bet yer he would be crazy to make you stay; and if he wouldn't pay you the two dollars a week more I would, so sure I am he would give it to you.”
It was then that Trinkmann returned to the cas.h.i.+er's desk, and Louis moved slowly away just as the telephone bell rang sharply. Trinkmann jerked the receiver from the hook and delivered himself of an explosive ”Hallo.”
”Hallo,” said a ba.s.s voice; ”is this Mr. Trinkmann?”