Part 33 (2/2)
”What's the matter with Kanef, Mr. Birsky?” he asked.
”Kanef is a s.h.i.+pping clerk only, Golnik,” Birsky replied; ”and you know as well as I do, Golnik, a s.h.i.+pping clerk is got so much influence with the operators like nothing at all. Besides, Golnik, we already got your name in as president, which, if we would change it now, right away we are out twenty dollars we paid Henry D. Feldman this afternoon he should draw up the papers for us.”
”So!” Golnik exclaimed. ”Feldman draws up the papers!”
”Sure he did,” Birsky said; ”which, if we started this thing, Golnik, we want to do it right.”
Golnik nodded.
”And he would do it right, too, Mr. Birsky,” he commented; ”which, judging from the contract he is drawing up between you and me last December, an elegant chance them operators is got in such a society.”
Birsky patted his designer confidentially on the shoulder.
”What do you care, Golnik?” he said. ”You ain't an operator--and besides, Golnik, I couldn't stand here and argue with you all night; so I tell you what I would do, Golnik: come in this here society as president and we wouldn't deduct nothing from your wages at all, and you would be a member in good standing, anyhow.”
Golnik shook his head slowly, whereat Birsky continued his confidential patting.
”And so long as the society lasts, Golnik,” he said, ”we ourselves would pay you two dollars a week to boot.”
”And I am also to get sick benefits?” Golnik asked.
”You would get just so much sick benefits as anybody else in the society,” Birsky replied, ”because you could leave that point to me, Golnik, which I forgot to told you, Golnik, that I am the treasurer; so you should please be so good and break it to Bogin and Kanef and the operators. We want to get through with this thing.”
For the remainder of the afternoon, therefore, the business premises of Birsky & Zapp were given over to speechmaking on the part of Birsky and Golnik; and when at the conclusion of his fervid oration Golnik exhibited to the hundred operators the pa.s.sbook of L. Birsky, Treasurer, the enthusiasm it evoked lost nothing by the omission of the conjunctive adverb ”as.” Indeed, resolutions were pa.s.sed and spread upon the minutes of such a laudatory character that, until the arrival of Jonas Eschenbach the following morning, there persisted in both Birsky and Zapp a genuine glow of virtue.
”Why, how do you do, Mr. Eschenbach?” Louis cried, as Eschenbach cuddled his hand in a warm, fat grasp. ”This is my partner, Mr. Zapp.”
”Ain't it a fine weather?” Barney remarked after he had undergone the handclasp of philanthropy.
”I bet yer it's a fine weather,” Eschenbach said. ”Such a fine weather is important for people which is running sick-benefit societies.”
”_Warum_ sick-benefit societies, Mr. Eschenbach?”
”Well,” Eschenbach replied, ”I take it that in a sick-benefit society the health of the members is paramount.”
”Sure, it is,” Barney agreed. ”You couldn't expect otherwise, Mr.
Eschenbach, from the _Machshovos_ them fellers eats for their lunch--herring and pickles _mit_ beer.”
”I am not speaking from the food they eat,” Eschenbach continued; ”_aber_, in bad weather, Mr. Zapp, you must got to expect that a certain proportion of your members would be laid up with colds already.”
Zapp waved his hand carelessly.
”For that matter,” he said, ”we told them fellers the sick-benefit society wouldn't fall for no colds _oder_ indigestion, which both of 'em comes from the stummick.”
”May be that's a wise plan, Mr. Zapp,” Eschenbach continued; ”but the best way a feller should keep himself he shouldn't take no colds _oder_ indigestion is from athaletics.”
”That's where you make a big mistake, Mr. Eschenbach,” said Zapp, who had served an apprentices.h.i.+p in the underwear business. ”Even in the hottest weather I am wearing a long-sleeve unders.h.i.+rt and regular length pants, and I never got at all so much as a little _Magensaure_.”
<script>