Chapter 1 (1/2)

Chapter 1: Death

In the way home from work, I dropped in a convenience store to buy dinner.

After I put the box filled with mixed seafood on the cas.h.i.+er, the part timer girl who until then was chattering asked with a clearly unpleasant expression,

“Do you want it heated?”

“Y-Yes, please.”

d.a.m.n. This stupid girl! What’s up with that dyed hair? Don’t just blabber, do your f.u.c.king job! Are you an idiot!?

The complicated atmosphere stayed until the heating was done.

These 19-20 years old girls were staring at my appearance without any tact at all in the meanwhile.

I knew what was in their head. Most likely it was something along the line of ‘bald, fat, and don’t have any relation with women’.

s.h.i.+t, that’s exactly the case! Even today, my first and last conversation with women was that one earlier!

So what’s wrong with that! Is it a bother for other people? Don’t mess with me, you stupid girl!

She then put my heated dinner carelessly on the counter.

I took it and went out of the store.

“Did you see that guy just now? Hahahaha~”

Those stupid girls already scorned at me even before I went out of the store.

I could only grip my hand tightly and hasten my steps.

s.h.i.+t. What’s up with that. d.a.m.n it! Do your job properly, you are getting paid for that!

Why do you think it’s okay to ridicule me? Because I’m bald and fat? Because I look ugly?

Or is it because I’ve never had a girlfriend even though I’m already 36 years old?

You girls will never have a good life! That will be my curse to you!

I walked in totter to my apartment.

When did my life end up like this?

Will it be like this until my life is over?

Somehow, I felt helpless.

My high school life was okay. I had friends whom I can talk to about stupid things, and I also immersed myself in Karate.

It was only at the latter part of my twenties that I realized that something had went terribly wrong.

My friends had their marriage one by one. I don’t have a girlfriend, but I still think soon it will be my turn. Or so I wished.

‘If it’s me who have a steady job, I would easily find a girl and build a happy family together,’ for some reason I held that baseless opinion.

However, reality was not that sweet. The cute girls at my company married one after another. Those at my company were already impossible for me, so I had marriage meetings, but I always ended up rejected. Even when I only invited some intern girl to drink, I got reprimanded by my boss for s.e.xual hara.s.sment.

I thought my bad luck with women were caused by my thin hair even though I was still in my twenties. So I tried to put on a wig, but nothing changed.

I’m a ugly guy, even I myself thought so.

And when I turned 30, I stopped going to the Karate dojo that I attended since primary school.

Because I don’t exercise anymore, my belly also got bigger.