Part 36 (2/2)

”Thocht o't, sir? Deed I thocht nocht o't ava. It was a vara imperfect discourse, in ma opinion; ye did well eneucht till ye took them through, but where did ye leave them? Just daunerin' o' the sea-sh.o.r.e without a place to gang till. Had it no' been for Pharaoh they had been better on the other side, where they were comfortably encampit than daunerin'

where ye left them. It's painful to hear a sermon stoppit afore it is richt ended, just as it is to hear ane streeket out lang after it's dune. That's my opinion o' the sermon ye geid us to-day.”

”Very freely given, David, very freely given; drive on a little faster, for I think ye're daunerin' noo, yersell.” [7]

=A New and Original Scene in ”Oth.e.l.lo”=

At a Scottish provincial theatre, a prompter named Walls, who, being exceedingly useful, frequently appeared on the stage, happened one evening to play the Duke, in ”_Oth.e.l.lo_.” Previous to going on, he had given directions to a girl-of-all-work, who looked after the wardrobe, to bring a gill of best whiskey. Not wis.h.i.+ng to go out, as the evening was wet, the girl deputed her little brother to execute the commission.

The senate was a.s.sembled, and the speaker was--

_Brabantio_: ”For my particular grief is of so floodgate and o'erbearing nature, that it engluts and swallows other sorrows, and is still itself.”

_Duke_: ”Why, what's the matter?”

Here the little boy walked on to the stage with a pewter gill stoup, and thus delivered himself:

”It's just the whusky, Mr. Walls, and I couldna get ony at fourpence, so yer awn the landlord a penny, an' he says it's time you were payin'

whet's doon i' the book.”

The roars of laughter which followed from both audience and actors for some time prevented the further progress of the play.

=The Shape of the Earth=

A country schoolmaster of the old time was coaching his pupils for the yearly examination by the clergymen of the district. He had before him the junior geography cla.s.s.

”Can any little boy or girl tell me what is the shape of the earth?”

To this there was no answer.

”Oh, dear me, this is sad! What wull the minister sink o' this? Well, I'll gie you a token to mind it. What is the shape o' this snuff-box in ma han'?”

”Square, sir,” replied all.

”Yes; but on the Sabbath, when a shange ma claes, I shange ma snuff-box, and I wears a round one. Will you mind that for a token?”

Examination day came, and the junior geography cla.s.s was called.

”Fine intelligent cla.s.s this, Mr. Mackenzie,” said one of the clergymen.

”Oh, yes, sir, they're na boor-like.”

”Can any of the little boys or girls tell me what is the shape of the earth?”

Every hand was extended, every head thrown back, every eye flashed with eager excitement in the good old style of schools. One was singled out with a ”You, my little fellow, tell us.”

<script>