Part 10 (2/2)

=Multum in Parvo=

A Highland porter, observing a stranger looking intently on the Rev. Dr.

Candlish, who was of small stature, said, ”Ay, tak' a gude look--there's no muckle _o'_ him, but there's a deal _in_ him!”

=When a.s.ses May Not Be Parsons=

In the pulpit one-half of Dr. Guthrie's rich nature was necessarily restrained. He could be pathetic there, but not humorous; though we did once hear him begin a sermon by saying that G.o.d on one occasion used an a.s.s to preach to a sinner, but that He was not in the way of using a.s.ses when He could get better instruments!

=A Scotch Version of the Lives of Esau and Jacob=

Within the grounds of Hamilton Palace, in the west of Scotland, is a mausoleum. The walls are ornamented with bas-reliefs forming Bible ill.u.s.trations. These have been paraphrased in verse by a local bard. One of the series is a history of Jacob, and from it the following extracts are taken. The brothers are thus introduced:

When Esau and Jacob were boys, A wild boy Esau was; Jacob was a peaceable boy, But Esau loved the chase.

One day from hunting he came home, A hungry man was he; Jacob some famous pottage had, Which soon caught Esau's e'e.

Rebekah instructs Jacob in the proposed deception of Isaac, but he is fearful of discovery. The former replies:

No fear of that, my darling son; Just do as I direct-- I will you dress up for the scene, That he will ne'er suspect.

Jacob obeys:

Away he went as he was bid, And quickly he them slew; His mother straightway did them cook And made a fav'rite stew.

Isaac is suspicious of Jacob:

Then Isaac unto Jacob said, ”Come near to me, I pray, That I may _feel_ it is the truth That unto me you say.”

Then Jacob he went unto him, And he his hands did feel.

”The hands are Esau's hands, my son, But it's like Jacob's squeal.”

=”Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady”=

An anecdote is told of Professor Haldane, of St. Andrews, one of the most estimable of men, yet, in spite of a pleasing person, a genial manner, a good house and a handsome competency, he was well-advanced in life before he could make up his mind to marry. When it was reported that he had fitted up his house afresh, it was supposed that he was going to change his state. On a given day, at an hour unusually early for a call, the good doctor was seen at the house of a lady for whom he had long been supposed to have a predilection, and betraying much excitement of manner till the door was opened.

As soon as he was shown in, and saw the fair one whom he sought calmly engaged in knitting stockings, and not at all disturbed by his entrance, his courage, like that of Bob Acres, began to ooze out, and he sat himself down on the edge of the chair in such a state of pitiable confusion as to elicit the compa.s.sion of the lady in question. She could not understand what ailed him, but felt instinctively that the truest good breeding would be to take no notice of his embarra.s.sment, and lead the conversation herself.

Thus, then, she opened fire: ”Weel, doctor, hae ye got through a' your papering and painting yet?” (A clearing of the throat preparatory to speech, but not a sound uttered.) ”I'm told your new carpets are just beautifu'.” (A further effort to clear the throat.) ”They say the pattern o' the dining-room chairs is something quite out o' the way. In short, that everything aboot the house is perfect.”

Here was a providential opening he was not such a goose as to overlook.

He screwed up his courage, advanced his chair, sidled toward her, simpering the while, raised his eyes furtively to her face, and said, with a gentle inflection of his voice which no ear but a wilfully deaf one could have misinterpreted: ”Na, na, Miss J----n, it's no' _quite_ perfect; it canna be quite that so lang as there's ae thing wanting!”

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