Part 1 (2/2)

what do ye think of Mr. Irving?”

”Oh,” said Willie, contemptuously, ”the man's crack't.”

Dunlop patted him on the shoulder, with a quiet remark, ”Willie, ye'Il aften see a light peeping through a crack!” [7]

=A Lesson to the Marquis of Lorne=

The youthful Maccallum More, who is now allied to the Royal Family of Great Britain, was some years ago driving four-in-hand in a rather narrow pa.s.s on his father's estate. He was accompanied by one or two friends--jolly young sprigs of n.o.bility--who appeared, under the influence of a very warm day and in the prospect of a good dinner, to be wonderfully hilarious.

In this mood the party came upon a cart laden with turnips, alongside which the farmer, or his man, trudged with the most perfect self-complacency, and who, despite frequent calls, would not make the slightest effort to enable the approaching equipage to pa.s.s, which it could not possibly do until the cart had been drawn close up to the near side of the road. With a pardonable a.s.sumption of authority, the marquis interrogated the carter: ”Do you know who I am, sir?” The man readily admitted his ignorance.

”Well,” replied the young patrician, preparing himself for an effective _denouement_, ”I'm the Duke of Argyll's eldest son!”

”Deed,” quoth the imperturbable man of turnips, ”an' I dinna care gin ye were the deevil's son; keep ye're ain side o' the road, an' I'll keep mine.”

It is creditable to the good sense of the marquis, so far from seeking to resist this impertinent rejoinder, he turned to one of his friends, and remarked that the carter was evidently ”a very clever fellow.”

=Lessons in Theology=

The answer of an old woman under examination by the minister, to the question from the Shorter Catechism, ”What are the _decrees_ of G.o.d?”

could not have been surpa.s.sed by the General a.s.sembly of the Kirk, or even the Synod of Dart, ”Indeed, sir, He kens that best Himsell.”

An answer a.n.a.logous to the above, though not so pungent, was given by a catechumen of the late Dr. Johnston of Leith. She answered his own question, patting him on the shoulder: ”Deed, just tell it yersell, bonny doctor (he was a very handsome man); naebody can tell it better.”

A contributor (A. Halliday) to _All the Year Round_, in 1865, writes as follows:

When I go north of Aberdeen, I prefer to travel by third cla.s.s. Your first-cla.s.s Scotchman is a very solemn person, very reserved, very much occupied in maintaining his dignity, and while saying little, appearing to claim to think the more. The people whom you meet in the third-cla.s.s carriages, on the other hand, are extremely free. There is no reserve about them whatever; they begin to talk the moment they enter the carriage, about the crops, the latest news, anything that may occur to them. And they are full of humor and jocularity.

My fellow-pa.s.sengers on one journey were small farmers, artisans, clerks, and fishermen. They discussed everything, politics, literature, religion, agriculture, and even scientific matters in a light and airy spirit of banter and fun. An old fellow, whose hands claimed long acquaintance with the plow, gave a whimsical description of the parting of the Atlantic telegraph cable, which set the whole carriage in a roar.

”Have you ony shares in it, Sandy?” said one.

”Na, na,” said Sandy. ”I've left off speculation since my wife took to wearing crinolines; I canna afford it noo.”

”Fat d'ye think of the rinderpest, Sandy?”

”Weel, I'm thinking that if my coo tak's it, Tibbie an' me winna ha'

muckle milk to our tay.”

The knotty question of predestination came up and could not be settled.

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