Part 29 (1/2)
”Momma?”
The entourage had moved from CJ's room to security after Manny had called and told them what was going on. They gathered around while Momma held court from the small banquet chair where she sat.
”h.e.l.lo, Poppy,” Momma said, adjusting her navy picture hat. ”What are you doing here? I didn't think you'd been invited.”
Poppy started to tremble, then she started to cry, and Manny moved quickly to her side. ”Momma...,” she said, but Momma waved her off.
”Hush,” she said. ”I knew you were giving my trinkets away. I couldn't resist. Just one little pickle fork. What would it matter?”
”What are you talking about?” Poppy asked. ”Why are you in Was.h.i.+ngton? How did you get here? Where is Lucky?”
It was too many questions, especially for Momma. She closed her eyes and looked as if she'd fallen asleep.
Poppy kneeled down before her. ”Momma?” she whispered. ”What about your spells?”
That's when Momma laughed and opened her eyes. ”Oh, I've been faking my spells. I needed to throw you off track. I didn't want anyone to know I was on to Elinor's shenanigans, and that I was determined to do something about it.”
All eyes moved from Momma to Elinor, who stood with her hand to her mouth. ”Oh my G.o.d,” Elinor said. ”Oh my good G.o.d.”
”Oh, don't be so shocked, Elinor dear. Someone had to stop you, before you wrecked your life and everyone else's. I was the only one with the wherewithal.”
At least she hadn't said b.a.l.l.s.
”But how did you know?” Elinor asked.
Momma adjusted the wide brim of her hat. ”Well, I knew long before my daughter told me. It was actually pure happenstance! Lucky brought me to town to have my hair done. No offense, Yolanda.”
Yolanda nodded and said none was taken.
”We went to the Lord Winslow for tea. I saw you, Elinor. I had Lucky follow you.”
”But why did you think anything was, as you say, going on?”
”Because the last time was the seventh time we'd seen you there. After the second time, I realized that even though life is irony, it seemed too much like coincidence. So I paid attention. Did you know you went there the second and fourth Thursdays of every month?”
Momma was no dummy; she never had been.
”So you stole Elinor's panties?” Yolanda asked, and everyone in the room, except Momma, cringed.
”Of course I did. Her daddy would never have wanted her to cause such a scandal.” She did not add that she'd known Elinor's daddy quite well, and knew a thing or two about cover-ups.
”But how did you get Elinor's panties?” Yolanda persisted.
Momma laughed. ”Well, Lucky and I didn't dress up like housekeepers, if that's what you mean! We slipped a few twenties in the right places, and we went into the room after Elinor left. The panties were a bonanza.” She turned to Elinor. ”You also left a bottle of spray hair gel, my dear, but I didn't think you'd care about that.”
Poppy was feeling quite proud in a special place in her heart. Who knew Momma was so clever?
”I...,” Elinor stammered, ”I was in a hurry....” Her voice drifted off; her eyes drifted to Malcolm, who seemed pretty calm, considering the circ.u.mstances.
”Lucky called you for the ransom, Elinor,” Momma continued.
”Did he follow me to Cayman?”
”No. That was Jake, the security man from the hotel. He agreed to freelance, and we paid him quite nicely.”
The entourage remained silent. Janice's fiance took a bite of a bagel that he'd brought from the room.
”But why here?” Elinor asked. ”Why now?”
”I wanted you to stop before you really were caught. By someone who mattered. I wanted to scare the c.r.a.p out of you.”
Everyone laughed except Elinor. And Malcolm. And poor Janice, who still seemed bewildered.
”But why did you leave my panties in CJ's room?”
”Ooops!” Momma cried, ”my mistake! Poppy had a picture of Alice and Elinor in her Miu Miu, which she left at my house one night. I put it in my purse, thinking I'd find a nice silver frame for it one day. Anyway, I brought the picture. I showed it to the housekeeper, and she let me into the room. I said I was your Momma! Imagine that!”
Of course, in reality, she could have been Elinor and CJ's Momma, impregnated by the headmaster.
”It wasn't my room,” Elinor said, ”it was CJ's. Malcolm and I had gone home.”
”Ha ha,” Momma laughed, ”well the joke was on me. The housekeeper mistook CJ for Elinor! You're still identical twins, after all!”
They stood around, processing Momma's confession, when Poppy said, ”But how did you get here?”
”Why, Lucky, of course. He's waiting outside in the limo.” She stood up as if ready to go.
”Just a minute.” The security man stepped forward and folded his arms. ”I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on here, but there's a small matter of larceny we need to address.”
The pickle fork, of course.
”Momma,” Poppy said, ”tell the man you're sorry.”
”But it's so lovely,” Momma said, her blue eyes twinkling. ”It would be such a nice addition to my collection.”
Poppy reached into her purse. ”Where did you get it, Momma?”
”Some fool left it on a room service tray. I saw it when I went upstairs to deliver the panties.” A touch of pride laced her words.
”How much?” Poppy asked the security guard.