Part 21 (1/2)
Amelia raised her arm slowly and solemnly toward heaven. ”I love you! May G.o.d hear me and accept my oath! I love you, and I swear to be yours; to be true and faithful; never to wed any other man!”
”Oh, most unhappy woman! oh, greatly to be pitied!” cried Trenck.
Throwing his arms around her neck he laid his head upon her bosom.
”Amelia, Amelia! these are not tears of rapture, of bliss. I weep from wretchedness, from anguish, for your dear sake. Ah, no! I will not accept your oath. I have not heard your words--those heavenly words which would have filled my heart with light and gladness, had they not contained your fatal condemnation. Oh, my beloved! you swear that you love me? That is, to sacrifice all the high privileges of your rank; the power and splendor which would surround a husband of equal birth--a throne, a royal crown. Beware! when I once accept your love, then you are mine; then I will never release you; not to the king--not even to G.o.d. You will be mine through all time and all eternity; nothing shall tear you from my arms, not even your own wish, your own prayers. Oh, Amelia! do you see that I am a madman, insane from rapture and despair! Should you not flee from a maniac? Perhaps his arm, imbued with giant strength, seeking to hold you ever to his heart, might crush you. Fly, then; spurn me from you; go to your room; go, and say to this mocking courtier, to whom nothing is holy, not even our love, who is surprised, at nothing--go and say to him: 'Trenck was a madman; I summoned him for pity; I hoped by mildness and forbearance to heal him. I have succeeded; he is gone. Go, now, and watch over your friend.' I will not contradict your words; so soon as you cross the threshold of the door, I will spring from the balcony. I will be careful; I will not stumble; I will not dash my head against the stones; I will not be found dead under your window; no trace of blood shall mark my desperate path.
My wounds are fatal, but they shall bleed inwardly; only upon the battle-field will I lie down to die. Amid the roar of cannon I shall not be heard; I dare call your name with the last sigh which bursts from my icy lips; my last words of love will mingle with the convulsive groans of the dying. Flee, then! flee from wretchedness and despair. May G.o.d bless you and make you happy!”
Trenck drew aside reverentially, that she might pa.s.s him; but she moved not--her eyes were misty with tears, tears of love, of heavenly peace. Amelia laid her soft hand upon his shoulder. Her eyes, which were fixed upon his face, had a wondrous glow. Love and high resolve were written there. ”Two of the brightest stars in yonder heavens did wander in our sphere.” Trenck looked upon her, and saw and felt that we are indeed made in the image of G.o.d.
”I seek no safety in flight. I remain by your side; I love you, I love you! This is no trembling, sighing, blus.h.i.+ng, sentimental love of a young maiden. I offer you the love of a bold, proud woman, who looks shame and death in the face. In the fire of my anguish, my love has become purified and hardened; in this flame it has forgotten its girlish blushes, and is unbending and unconquerable. I have baptized it with my tears; I have taken it to my heart, as a mother takes her new-born child whose existence is her condemnation, her dishonor, her shame; whom she loves boundlessly, and blesses even while weeping over it! I also weep, and I feel that condemnation and shame are my portion. I also bless my love; I think myself happy and enviable. G.o.d has blessed me; He has sent one pure, burning ray of His celestial existence into my heart, and taught me how to love unchangeably, immortally.”
”Oh, Amelia, why cannot I die now?” cried Trenck, falling powerless at her feet.
She stooped and raised him up with a strong hand.
”Rise,” she said; ”we must stand erect, side by side, firm and cool.
When you kneel before me, I fear that you see in me a princess, the sister of a king. I am simply your beloved, the woman who adores you. Look you, Trenck, I do not say 'the young girl;' in my interior life I am no longer that. This fearful battle with myself has made me old and cautious. A young girl is trembling and cowardly. I am firm and brave; a young girl blushes when she confesses her love; I do not confess, I declare and glory in my pa.s.sion. A young girl shudders when she thinks of dishonor and misery, of the power and rage and menaces of her family; when with prophetic eye she sees a herald clad in mourning announcing her dark fate. I shudder not. I am no weak maiden; I am a woman who loves without limit, unchangeably, eternally.”
She threw her arms around him, and a long and blessed pause ensued.
Lightly whispered the wind in the tops of the lofty poplars and oaks of the garden; unnumbered stars came out in their soft splendor and looked down upon this slumbering world. Many slept, forgetful alike of their joys and their griefs; some, rejoicing in unhoped-for happiness, looked up with grateful and loving hearts; others, with convulsive wringings of the hands and wild cries of anguish, called upon Heaven for aid. What know the stars of this? they flash and glimmer alike upon the happy and the despairing. The earth and sky have no tears, no sympathy for earthly pa.s.sions. Amelia released herself from the arms of her lover and fixed her eyes upon the heavens. Suddenly a star fell, marking its downward and rapid flight with a line of silver; in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, it was extinguished.
”An evil omen!” cried she, pointing upward. With a mysterious sympathy, Trenck had looked up at the same moment.
”The heavens will not deceive us, Amelia; they warn us, but this warning comes too late. You are mine, you have sworn that you love me; I have accepted your vows. May G.o.d also have heard them, and may He be gracious to us! Is it not written that Faith can remove mountains? that she is more powerful than the mightiest kings of the earth; stronger than death--that conquerors and heroes fall before her? Let us, then, have faith in our love; let us be strong in hope, in patience, in constancy.”
”My brother says we shall soon have war. Will you not win a wreath of laurel upon the battle-field? who can know but the king may value it as highly, may consider it as glorious, as a princely crown? All my sisters are married to princes; perhaps my royal brother may pardon me for loving a hero whose brow is bound by a laurel-wreath alone.”
”Swear to me, Amelia, to wait--to be patient, to give me time to reach this goal, which you paint in such heavenly colors.”
”I swear!”
”You will never be the wife of another?”
”I will never be the wife of another.”
”Be it prince or king; even if your brother commands it?”
”Be it prince or king; even if my brother commands it, I will never obey him.”
”G.o.d, my G.o.d! you have heard our vows.” While speaking, he took Amelia's head in his hands softly and bowed it down as if it were a holy sacrifice which he offered up to Heaven. ”You have heard her oath: O G.o.d, punish her, crush her in your wrath, if she prove false!”
”I will be faithful to the end. May G.o.d punish me if I fail!”
”And now, beloved, you are mine eternally. Let me press our betrothal kiss upon your sweet lips; you are my bride, my wife.
Tremble not now, turn not away from my arms; you have no other refuge, no other strong fortress than my heart, but it is a rock on which you can safely build; its foundation is strong, it can hold and sustain you. If the storm is too fierce, we can plunge together into the wild, raging sea, and be buried in the deep. Oh, my bride, let me kiss your lips; you are sanctified and holy in my eyes till the glorious day in which life or death shall unite us.”
”No, you shall not kiss me; I embrace you, my beloved,” and she pressed her soft full lips, which no untruthful, immodest word had ever desecrated, to his. It was a kiss holy, innocent, and pure as a maiden's prayer. ”And now, my beloved, farewell,” said Amelia, after a long pause, in which their lips had been silent, but their hearts had spoken to each other and to G.o.d. ”Go,” she said; ”night melts into morn, the day breaks!”
”My day declines, my night comes on apace,” sighed Trenck. ”When do we meet again?”