153 Bloody washing 2 (2/2)

Suddenly, I feel a burst of nausea. Then I rush quickly into the bathroom beside, bump into a small toilet compartment, squating down immediately, holding the toilet and spitting out!

I keep vomiting and feel my stomach cramp. I've spit out almost all the tea I had drunk this afternoon. My stomach is empty, but still holding the toilet, almost to spit out my own bile!

My face is full of snotty tears. The dirty residues were left on the corners of the mouth. I'm gasping, feeling as if I have been hollowed out, fluttering, weak and soft.

Calm down, I come out, turn on the tap of the pool, and then washing my face with water. Then I begin to wash my hands again! I pick up the soap and wash my hands for five times, rubbing the skin on my hands red! But I still don't stop! I even pick up a brush aside and brush hands as hard as I can!

Even though I've brushed my hands to bleed, I still feel that there's an unbearable smell of blood on my hands. The dirty smell makes me almost spit out again.

I look up at the mirror in front of me. The man in it is very blue with water droplets on his face and rolling down from the head and cheeks. There is a twist and ferocity in eyes.

My heart is a bit cold, is this really me? Is it Chen Yang? Is it the Little 5?

I struggle to squeeze out a laugh to the mirror. In the mirror, I'm showing a mouth of teeth that have not been smoked by tobacco. They are still white. But my eyes are twisted.

I killed a man!

I've killed a man!

Yes, it's not the first time I've killed someone. In the bloody battle on the streets of GZ City, I've already killed people. At sea, I also killed the black man on the stowaway boat.

But those two are different from today!

In the bloody battle on the street, I was forced. They wanted to kill me. I had to fight with them! I can only do my best to protect myself! Desperately, killing people, I do not have much regret in my heart.

At sea, I killed the black man because of hatred! It's the humiliation they used to treat us like animals, and what they did to Phoenix. I killed that bastard, only felt happy in my heart!

But today is different!

This Sand Snake, I don't know him at all. I know nothing about this man except his name and age. Even before yesterday, I haven't even heard of this person. I don't even know there's such a person in the world.

I don't hate him, I don't know how he is, and I don't know if he really deserves to die. I kill him just because Papa 8 let me kill him, because I have to kill him to get a chance!

Without hatred to kill someone who has nothing to do with me for no reason at all. This situation makes me feel that my heart is full of a distorted feeling at the moment.

Before that, there's no intersection between my life and the two living people. But now I appeared and then took these two stranger's lives!

So who am I now?

Am I still Chen Yang?

Am I still the Little 5?

The skin on my hand is brushed, blood is flowing out, and the pain is stimulating my nerves, but I don't care. I just focuse on contemplating at myself in the mirror!

After a long time, the door is pushed open, and the subordinate of Papa 8, the indifferent middle-aged man, comes in.

”It's done?”

After he looked at me, his eyes rest on my bleeding hands.

”Yes.” I nod.

”Well, Papa 8 wants to see you.”

I'm about to go out with him without saying a word, but he suddenly turns around and smiles at me. His smile with a trace of complexity: ”Ah, I almost forget to tell you, my name is Tiger. I didn't tell you before because you're an outsider. Now...”

He looks into my eyes and says in a gentle voice, ”From now on, you are your own man.”