Part 22 (1/2)
”Nothing. What happens when he is cured and comes home?”
”Should the cure prove efficacious, I expect he'll be too busy being his old self to worry about us. But he's not a well man, Caro. The years of debauchery have taken their toll. You overpowered him rather easily, did you not?”
Caroline thought about it. She hadn't seen Pope fall backward, just heard the spectacular results. He had looked quite gray-faced and grim once she'd got her hood off. For a few seconds she'd thought he was dead. Maybe it was close to his appointment with the devil.
”You told me you spoke with him before, and yet he still tried to harm me.”
”Yes, I spoke with him. When I confronted him this summer, he of course denied making any threats against you. Dressed me down for sending Mulgrew and his men to warn him off. Swore it must be Dougla.s.s who was to blame for anything Rossiter heard. But it was Dougla.s.s who wrote to me telling me Pope was becoming increasingly unhinged. I told you that at Bradlaw House last night. And still you ran away.”
Caroline felt a twinge of shame. ”I'm sorry, Edward. I wasn't thinking about Pope.”
”When I discovered your room was empty late this morning I thought Pope had taken you. I've never known such despair. But then I found the bedsheets strung together. I realized you were up to your old tricks. And I was angry, so angry I had to talk myself out of giving you a spanking when I met you on the steps.”
He had kissed her instead, quite memorably. ”A spanking? Surely I'm too old for that.”
”I wonder. Someone should have raised their hand to you long ago. You've run wild all your life.”
He didn't know the half of it. And wouldn't.
”But,” he continued, ”I'm willing to overlook your impulsivity. I put a great deal of pressure on you at Bradlaw House. No wonder you wanted to teach me a lesson. This time we'll just sit down like two normal people and-”
”What do you mean 'this time'?”
”We keep starting off on the wrong foot. I'd like to pretend the past six years never happened, but I'm a realist. I was even ready to let you go after last night, Caro. I told you so. I heard all your 'lasts,' every one of them. There was no need for you to climb out windows and frighten farmers. Mr. Mitch.e.l.l sends his regards, by the way.”
Yes, she had been adamant about leaving. But it was she who was not ready to let him go, which was why she ran away.
”Yes, you'd convinced me. Utterly. I spent all night working on another list and was prepared to send you home in comfort. I even let you sleep in, figuring you were exhausted from our last night together. Every time I said the words 'last night' in my head, Caro, I felt as if I were stabbed-by a fork. But then, I finally went into your room, and you were gone. The window blew shut in the rainstorm, you see. I didn't see the sheets at first. I thought you'd been abducted, and I realized I could not let you go when I found you.” He reached to cup her cheek. ”If we can simply forgive each other for the past, we should be able to make our marriage work.”
”I don't want to be forgiven, and I don't want this marriage to work, Edward! How many times must I belabor the point? We are not suited. You think I should be spanked, for heaven's sake! I'm much more than a spoiled child. I am a woman who knows her own mind, and I know that I don't want to be married. To you, or anyone else.”
”Balderdash. You write romance novels. Of course you believe in marriage.”
”They are made-up stories, Edward, written out of boredom and for coin. Not everyone deserves a happy ending.”
His gaze was steady. ”You think so little of me to deny me happiness?”
”It's not-oh, please, Edward, I've had a rotten day. I walked miles and got soaked and rode in a vegetable cart! I'm worn out from travel and attempted kidnapping. I-I smell. Just leave me alone and we can discuss my philosophy of life another day.”
”No. I want to know why you don't think you deserve a happy ending.”
”It was just a figure of speech. I meant not everyone gets a happy ending. Life is frequently unjust. Lovely people have dreadful things happen to them. You lost Alice too soon, for example. My brother died.” Her throat constricted. She was so tired she didn't have the strength to battle back the tears.
”I want you to tell me, Caro. It's time.”
She wiped her cheeks. ”You won't understand.”
”Try me,” he said softly.
Chapter 23.
Celestine had committed an unconscionable crime. No one must ever know her secret. No one.
-Secrets and Seduction.
She told him it was impossible for her to think with him so close to her on the couch. She limped over to the window, and he felt some guilt for continuing to press her. But the air was suddenly charged between them, the truth floating just beyond his fingertips. The red maple tree in front of Number Six was a blaze of glory, almost as glorious as the river of tangled red hair falling down her back. He'd not been able to manage it at all playing lady's maid at Bradlaw House, though it had been most enjoyable trying. He wanted to gather her in his lap, brush her hair, soothe her, make love to her. Instead he counted the clicks and whirs of the mantel clock.
She was silent for the longest time. He had almost given up waiting when she began, her voice raspy. ”I will tell you everything. And then you will see why this is pointless. You will hate me.”
”I will not.”
She gave him a lopsided smile. ”We shall see. I won't go back to the very beginning. Needless to say, you are right. My childhood was as naughty as you imagine. My father didn't concern himself with me much, so I can't remember ever getting spanked. I'll start with Andrew, shall I? That was when my life got interesting.”
Her tone was so bitter Edward nearly asked her to stop the forced confession. But she rushed ahead. ”Andrew came to live with us when I was seventeen. He was so beautiful I could not help but be dazzled. He seduced me. No, that's not right. We seduced each other. He'd had-he'd had a truly terrible life. His guardian found him on the streets of Edinburgh and made him his catamite. Andrew was only seven years old.”
Edward was appalled. No one, not even his rival Andrew Rossiter, deserved such a fate. ”That's indefensible.”
”Yes. Andrew thought that was all there was to life. It was all he was used to, all he expected. He took up with my brother when they were at school. They were-they were lovers.”
”I went to public school. That's not as unusual as you might think.”
”I know that now. Some men do not like women. My brother was one of them. He was nothing like Andrew's guardian. He would never have harmed a child.”
”No. Most men of that persuasion would not. They are simply seeking affection like the rest of us, although they can be hung for it. That guardian was a predator of the worst kind.”
”He was. I'm glad he's dead.” She traced a circular pattern on the gla.s.s. ”When I found out about Andrew and Nicky, I was devastated. I thought Andrew loved me.”
”He did. He told me so.” And I saw it with my own eyes. Twice. Once, five years ago in my wife's bedroom.
It wasn't Caroline who had convinced him she was unfaithful. It was the look on Andrew Rossiter's face. Edward had seen a man deeply in love who was determined to have what he wanted. Needed. By any means necessary, such as blackmail. And then weeks ago, when Andrew came to warn him, there really had been no doubt he still had strong feelings for Caroline's welfare.
”Well, he loved Nicky too, in his way. He tried to explain it, but I wouldn't listen. I felt used. Disgusted. I confronted my brother. I said some horrible, hurtful things. I threw things at him. Hit him, too. Nicky never said a word. Not one. Then he went to his room and shot himself.” Her voice cracked completely.
Edward bounded up from the distant couch to hold her. She made no protest as he tucked her hair behind her ears and smoothed the tears from her cheeks. ”That's awful, Caro. But it wasn't your fault.”
”Oh, wasn't it? He didn't die, Edward. He lived a week until Andrew and I killed him.” She broke away.
”No. I don't believe you.”
”The doctor said he'd never get better. The bullet could not be removed. He was-they call it a vegetative state, Edward. He couldn't see or hear or think. He lay in bed like he was in his coffin already, not moving. Andrew and I talked about it, then Andrew put him out of his misery.”
That was also not as unusual as she might think. ”That was a kindness, Caro. Surely you see that.”
”Kindness!” she cried. ”We killed him! Our selfishness destroyed him!”
”He destroyed himself, Caro. It was his choice to put a bullet in his brain. It was he who was selfish to hurt the two people he left behind.”