Part 16 (1/2)

”Joshua, you're a retriever,” I said. ”That's what you do.”

”That's what I did,” Joshua said. ”I'm in another line of work now.”

The next morning, Joshua and I visited Carl.

”Well, isn't that just the most adorable puppy!” Carl's a.s.sistant Marcella said, leaning over her desk to look at Joshua.

”Only on the outside,” I said.

”Why, Tom, what a terrible thing to say,” Marcella said. ”You know that dogs can pick up on what you're saying about them.”

”I have no doubt whatsoever about that,” I said. ”Is Carl in? I'd like to speak to him, if he has a moment.”

”He's in,” Marcella said. ”Let me see if he can see you.” She motioned us over to the waiting area. As we sat, Joshua put his paw on my foot, our signal for when he had something he wanted to say to me. I leaned down, very close to his mouth. ”What?” I whispered.

”I just want you to know, I'm having a rough time of things at the moment,” Joshua said, his voice barely above a whisper itself. ”My dog nature is getting the best of me.”

”What do you mean?” I said.

”I mean I have this incredible urge to stick my nose in every crotch that goes by,” Joshua said. ”It's driving me insane.”

”Try to control yourself,” I said. ”After this meeting I'll take you to the park and you can sniff some other dogs' b.u.t.ts. Good enough?”

”You're mocking me, aren't you,” Joshua said.

”Maybe,” I said.

”Tom?” Marcella looked over to us. ”Carl will see you now.” She crinkled a smile and wiggled her fingers at Joshua. Joshua surged, as if to make a beeline for her lap. I held him by his collar and dragged him into Carl's office. Carl was at his desk, glancing at a Hollywood Reporter. He set it down as I closed the door.

”Tom,” Carl said, and then glanced down at Joshua. ”Is this Joshua's friend?”

”Not exactly,” I said, and turned to Joshua. ”Say h.e.l.lo, Joshua.”

”h.e.l.lo, Joshua,” Joshua said.

Carl was momentarily startled but recovered quite a bit quicker than I did. ”Cute,” he finally said.

”Thanks. I love that joke,” Joshua said.

”Would one of you mind telling me how Joshua got in there?” Carl said.

”His dog friend was old and had a heart attack, and Joshua decided to inhabit the body,” I said.

”I've also melded with the dog's personality,” Joshua said.

Carl furrowed his brow. ”You mean your personality is part dog?”

”If you throw a stick, will I not fetch?” Joshua intoned. ”If you scratch my backside, will I not jerk my leg? if you show me a cat, will I not chase? Sorry, Tom.”

”It's all right,” I said.

”Tom, ”Carl said, ”I'm hoping this isn't your idea of how to bring our peoples together. Joshua appears happy to be a dog, but I don't think that's the form that we want the Yherajk to take for their grand debut.”

”Believe me, it's not,” I said. ”But I think letting him be a dog for a while has some interesting aspects.”

”Explain,” Carl said.

”Well, for one thing, it finally allows him to interact with humans besides you and me,” I said. ”I can take him places now. He's not going to get the full human experience, to be sure, but he's going to see more of the place than he would trapped in my house all the time. And maybe the interaction will give us some ideas to go on for how we finally do introduce the Yherajk.”

”Joshua?” Carl said.

”Being a dog isn't optimal for observation,” Joshua said. ”But it's better than what I was doing, which was watching cable television and going into online chat rooms. And I'm having fun. I am the Alpha Dog of the Universe. It doesn't get much better than that.”

Carl turned his attention back to me. ”What is your plan?”

”I don't have one at the moment,” I said. ”I thought I'd just take him places and let him look around. You know, be a professional dog walker for a while.”

”He's good at it,” Joshua volunteered, ”and he needs the exercise.”

”Quiet, you,” Carl said to Joshua. Joshua immediately looked like a dog who knows he's taken a dump in the wrong place in the house. I never would have told Joshua to be quiet. But then, I'm not his dad.

”I can't have you wandering around with a dog,” Carl said. ”That Van Doren character is still floating around out there. We have to keep you busy.” Carl thought for a few moments, then turned back to Joshua.

”Can you act?” Carl asked Joshua.

”I'm pretending to be a dog, aren't I?” Joshua said.

Carl buzzed Marcella. ”Get me Albert Bowen, if you please, Marcella,” he said, and clicked her off. He turned to me. ”You have anything going on in the next few days?”

”Not really. I got Mich.e.l.le Beck a reading for Hard Memories, but that's not until next week. Amanda's handling all the rest of my clients. I'm free,” I said.

”Good,” Carl said. ”Albert Bowen and I went to college together. He's a vet and a trainer, and handles animal casting for commercials and television. Let's see what we can do with this.”

Marcella's came over the speakerphone. ”Albert Bowen holding for Carl Lupo,” she said, and clicked off.

”Hey, Al,” Carl said.

”Wolfman!” Bowen said on the other end. Carl twitched slightly at the nickname. College familiarity was probably the only reason Carl let him get away with it. ”Haven't heard from you in a while, my friend. What can I do for you?”

”I got an interesting potential client, Al,” Carl said. ”Animal trainer from the Yukon Territory. Trains dogs. One of my agents did a trek up the Pacific coastline about a year ago and found this guy doing a show outside of Whitehorse. Smartest d.a.m.ned dogs you ever saw. The agent managed to convince the guy to s.h.i.+p one of the dogs down for a week, to see if they might have a future in commercials and films. I think they might, and if it works out, we're going to represent the trainer.”

”The trainer s.h.i.+pped one of the dogs?” Bowen said. ”He didn't come down himself?”

”Said he didn't need to. Sent the agent a manual with hand signs. Said that's all he'd need, the dog would understand. I told you these were smart dogs, Al.”

”Hmmph. I'll have to see it before I believe it,” Bowen said.

”Well, Al, that's my plan. I'm going to send the agent over with the dog. The agent's name is Tom Stein, and the dog's name is Joshua. You want to give the dog a looksee and tell me what you think? And if you can use him in any commercials over the next week or so, that'd be good with us. The trainer has given us free rein for this week only.”