Part 13 (1/2)
”Get back to the cabin, s.l.u.t,” he growled. When Cathy made no move to obey him he lifted a hand as if he would strike her. Cathy's eyes flashed angrily at him, but before she could speak Harry broke in.
”She lied,” he said as if the words were being dragged from him. ”She didn't do a thing. I kissed her, and wouldn't let her go even though she tried to make me. She's completely innocent, as you would know if you weren't so G.o.dd.a.m.ned stupid. She's far too good for you; you treat her like a wh.o.r.e, and yet she calls you darling.”
Jon's eyes turned to Harry. Cathy stood up, her mouth shaking. That last display of violence had both frightened and angered her. She couldn't believe that he would treat her so brutally, not now, not after. . . . Pressing a trembling hand to her mouth, she turned her back and walked with dignity back to the cabin. She could feel his hard gaze boring into her back as she went.
While Jon's attention was concentrated on Cathy's retreating form, Harry took the opportunity to slink away below. When Jon turned back toward the rail he found that he was alone. He stood staring out at the darkening sea for some minutes before finally limping after Cathy.
”Is it true?” he asked heavily, leaning back against the closed cabin door. Cathy stood in the far corner of the room, sapphire eyes enormous in her white face, arms hugging herself to stop her body from shaking. The look she turned on Jon was stony.
”Is it true?” he repeated, voice grating. ”Did he force you?
”Believe what you like,” Cathy said coldly. ”It makes no difference to me.”
Jon's gray eyes, like twin shards of gla.s.s, seemed to impale her s.h.i.+vering body. Cathy stared back at him, icily angry herself. If he thought of her as a s.l.u.t, after the slavish devotion she had lavished on him, then he didn't deserve an explanation!
”I asked you a question.” Jon's voice rumbled ominously, like a volcano before it erupts. ”I advise you to answer.”
Cathy shot him a withering look. ”I'm not afraid of you,” she sniffed contemptuously.
”By G.o.d, you d.a.m.ned well should be,” Jon snarled, coming away from the door in a lunge. Cathy bravely stood her ground, chin tilted defiantly,eyes flas.h.i.+ng as he closed in on her. She could not stop from cowering instinctively as he reached for her with savage imprecation, but she made no sound. His big hands came around her neck, squeezing the soft flesh just enough so that she could feel his strength. His thumbs pushed her chin up until her face was tilted to his.
”I could break your neck in less than a second,” Jon growled, tightening his hands slightly.
”Then why don't you?” Cathy dared recklessly, her growing anger swamping her fear.
”I will,” Jon promised grimly, ”if you don't answer my questions. Was Harry telling the truth? Did he kiss
you against your will?”
”You're jealous again, aren't you?” Cathy taunted, wanting to hurt him. 'You're so jealous that you're
crazy with it. Well, as I've told you before, you've got no hold on me. I can do as I please!”
Jon's eyes darkened furiously.
”Cathy,” he warned very softly. ”This is one time when I would advise you to keep a hold on that sharp
little tongue. I mean to have an answer. Did he force you?
”And what if I say he did?” she challenged. 'Will you believe me? You were ready enough to think the worst of me out there.” She nodded in the general direction of the deck.
”I'll believe you,” Jon muttered after a long moment. ”G.o.d knows why, but I'll believe you.”
”All right them, he forced me. Are you satisfied?” Her voice taunted him.
Jon looked down at her mutinous little face, and felt the slender fragility of the white throat he held in his
hands. He could kill her so easily. . . . His hands tightened until he saw the blood rush into her pale face, then loosened again. She had said that Harry had forced her ”Is that the truth?” he demanded, his eyes burning her. Cathy stared up at him angrily.
”I've said it was. I thought you said that you'd believe me.
”All right, all right.I believe you.” Jon felt the killing pain that had been throbbing in his belly subside. His
hands slowly released her throat,then dropped to his sides. Cathy glared after him as he turned away, limping across to the bunk. His crutch lay where he had dropped it by the cabin door, and he stopped to pick it up and lean it against the wall by the bed. Then he sank down in a sitting position on the mattress, his back toward her, and his leg thrust out stiffly in front of him. Absentmindedly he began to knead his wounded thigh. Watching him, Cathy felt herself soften slightly. After all, she wanted him to fall in love with her, and jealousy was a healthy symptom of love.Or maybe not. Maybe he was equally possessive with everything to which he had staked a claim.
”Does your leg hurt very much?” she asked, almost unwillingly. The broad shoulders shrugged.
”I'll live,” he grunted, slanting a look over his shoulder at her. Then, as if compelled, he added tightly,
”Has he ever touched you before?”
Cathy's antagonism bristled anew.
”If what you want to know is, have I slept with him, why don't you just come right out and ask me?”
”Have you?” he growled, turning to look at her almost as if he hated her. Cathy thought she could detect traces of pain in the gray eyes that had nothing to do with his leg. He was hurting, she realized with a pang. His violence stemmed from acute suffering. Realizingthis, andremembering what he had told her about his stepmother, she felt her anger drain away. Her skirts rustled as she crossed the room to kneel at his feet, catching his long brown hands in hers. He allowed her to hold his hands, but the look he bent on her was wary.
”Jon, I had never known another man,” she began, her eyes searching hissceptical face. ”And if you remember, I didn't surrender to you willingly. You had to force me, didn't you?”
It was a measure of his hurt that he didn't even argue the point, but merely nodded curtly.
”What makes you think that I would be any easier for anyone else?” she questioned seriously. ”I'm not a s.l.u.t to fall into bed with any man who wants me. I was brought up respecting a certain moral code. You took my innocence, but my principles haven't changed.”
Her eyes were steady as they looked into his. Jon began to feel better. What she said was true. She was born and bred a lady, and she'd been a virgin when he took her. It was unlikely that she could have developed wh.o.r.e's tricks so soon. His hands tightened around hers, his hard mouth curving in a slightly rueful smile. Cathy smiled back at him, her eyes glowing up at him warmly. Despite his faults, or perhaps even because of them, her love for him remained unchanged.
”It seems I owe you an apology yet again,” Jon sighed, carrying her hands to his mouth one at a time. ”But you shouldn't have lied to me. Did I hurt you, sweet?”
”No,” Cathy answered. ”Not really.Just scared me half to death.”
”Now that I don't believe,” Jon murmured, smoothing the hair he had mussed away from her brow. 'You spat at me like a she-tiger on the hunt. You weren't scared a bit.”
”I didn't think you would hurt me.” Cathy lowered her eyes demurely. ”Was I wrong?”
Jon grinned at her, a teasing light chasing away the last traces of suspicion from his eyes.
”You'll never know, my cat, will you?Now, enough of this nonsense. I want my supper!”
'Yes, sir, master. Right away, master,” Cathy teased back, bowing before him Like a Chinese coolie. Jon rewarded her with a slap on the rear, and she went to tellPetersham to bring in the evening meal.
The subject was dropped until they had finished eating.Petersham cleared the dishes, and when they were alone once more Jon coaxed her into playing a game of chess. Cathy laughingly told him that the only reason he liked to play with her was because she was so bad. It was while her hand was hovering undecidedly over two different p.a.w.ns that he brought the topic up again.
”Has Harry ever bothered you before?” His voice was casual, and his attention on the chessboard.