Part 19 (2/2)

It shouldn't matter to me, since we're not together, and even if we were, that was a long time ago.

Or if it wasn't, it was still before he met me, and I can't really blame him for not being psychic. But I was a virgin in almost everyway (except for once when Peter had bitten me, and I was pretty sure that Jordan had made it second base the other night), and it was rather intimidating to think of being with someone so much more experienced than I was. And the girls he had to be experienced with! They made the Sports Ill.u.s.trated Swimsuit models look fat and ugly. After all of that, he had tasted my blood at the club, and that left this lingering maddening desire.

Combining that with Olivia's veiled threat about me needing to turn, and I was just really, really ready to get it all over with. His bed, which smelled too sweetly of him, felt too big and empty, and I would never be able to get comfortable and fall asleep, not with everything on my mind.

Finally, I gave up and went downstairs. Maybe I had this planned all night long because I had put back on the girl boxers he had raved about so much this morning. Milo was sleeping in his room next door to Jack's so I had was careful to tiptoe out, not that it was strictly necessary. Milo's hearing had greatly improved, and he found it distracting to sleep, so he had a white noise machine in his room anyway. Just the same, I didn't want to risk waking him up and having him joining the conversation.

Walking around the house was murder. Even though it was after seven in the morning, every shade in the house was drawn so tightly that no natural light could sneak in anywhere. Their perfect vampire vision required no night lights, meaning that everything was submerged in pitch black, except for Jack's room, which they had outfitted with a night light for me. The worst part had been maneuvering the stairs without making a sound, because I had somehow managed to stub my toe like three times.

”Dammit,” I cursed myself when I finally made it to the bottom. There would be no way I could make it any farther without help, so I flicked on the kitchen light at the bottom of the steps, and using that light, I walked quietly into the living room.

The dim light apparently didn't faze Jack, who laid curled up on the couch underneath a dark comforter. Matilda laid on the floor next to him, and she lifted her head when I came into the room and thumped her tail. Jack stirred a little at that but didn't seem to wake up.

”Jack?” I whispered. He didn't move, and I glanced nervously over my shoulder, afraid that I had somehow disturbed Mae or Milo, even though they were asleep in the respective rooms and I couldn't wake Jack right in front of me. ”Jack?”

96.

”What?” Jack mumbled tiredly, moving his had against the pillow as he repositioned himself.

Slowly, he became aware that he was talking to someone, and he opened his eyes and looked over at me. ”Alice? Is everything okay?”

”Yeah, everything's fine.” Carefully, I sat down at the end of the couch, next to his feet. ”I just couldn't sleep.”

”Yeah?” Jack moved so he was facing me more, and by the concern toned in his voice, I knew he didn't believe me when I said I was fine. ”What's going on?”

”I don't know,” I shrugged and leaned back on the couch, pulling my knees up to my chest.

”Is it about what happened tonight?” The thought made him nervous, and I didn't immediately answer.

In a way, it was about tonight, but not the way he thought. ”Alice, you've got nothing to be scared of. They would never hurt you, not outside of that club, and we're never going back there.”

”No, it's not that,” I shook my head. ”I'm not scared. I mean, not about that. I know you and Milo and Mae would never let anything happen, and they seemed kind of like losers anyway.”

”They were,” Jack agreed, but he sounded serious. ”What are you scared of then?”

”I don't know,” I sighed and tried to sort out what I wanted to say. ”Maybe scared isn't the right word. I just.... Did you know them? Did you know any of the vampires down there?”

”No, I don't think so. I've seen some around, but I'm not acquainted with any of them. I'm not really into that scene, or the vampires that are.” He propped himself up more, and even in the darkness, I could see the worry and confusion on his face. ”What are you trying to find out?”

”I don't know!” I lied. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but it felt too brash to just come out and say it. ”All the vampires down there were just so... attractive. Olivia was like a G.o.ddess, and even in Violet with her piercings and silly make up couldn't mask that she was very pretty.”

”Oh, come on,” Jack rolled his eyes, and he started connecting the dots. ”They barely gave me the time of day. Besides, might I remind you that you were the hot sensation down there.”

”That's different,” I brushed past it. ”And I wasn't complaining about them hitting on you. I was wondering... if you...” I squirmed, finding it surprisingly difficult just to ask him.

”What?” Jack pressed. ”I just met them, and you saw me talking to them. I think Violet was right, and I might've seen her around before, but everything she was saying was just to get you going.

We'd never done anything.”

”I know.” I s.h.i.+vered a little, so maybe the girl boxers weren't such a good idea in their subzero temperatures. I was prepared to ignore it as I worked up the courage to just be straight with Jack, but he noticed how cold I was.

”Take some of the covers.” He pushed some at me with his feet, and I scooted closer to him so I could snuggle underneath his blankets. When I felt his leg brush against my thigh, I decided I'd move close enough.

”This is why I don't wear this pajamas here,” I told him as I settled into the couch.

”That's what they made blankets for,” Jack laughed.

97.

”What do you use blankets for anyway?” I asked, and he looked at me like I was a total idiot. ”No, I mean, you guys love it cold. Why do you need to cover up?”

”Force of habit, I guess,” Jack shrugged. ”I don't know. I never really thought about it. I only ever do it when I go to bed, and that's just what's most comfortable, I guess. Why? Does it bother you?”

”Why would it bother me?”

”I don't know! I don't know why anything bothers you!” Jack complained.

”Oh, whatever. You know why everything bothers me,” I grumbled. My chill was fading away, but I pulled the covers up to my neck anyway.

”Okay, fine,” Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose for a minute. ”What's bothering you about tonight? What are you actually getting at?”

”I'm not...” I was about to tell him that I wasn't getting at anything, but then I decided just spit it out.

”Did you sleep with any of them?”

”That's what you're getting at?” Jack looked at me skeptically.

”Yeah,” I blushed at his surprise. He seemed to think it was obviously stupid, and I couldn't see why. ”I mean... you're still... you still... I don't know.” I buried myself further under the covers, wis.h.i.+ng I could disappear completely. ”Do vampires even have s.e.x?”

”Yeah,” Jack laughed, and he sat up a little. ”We do. I have, yes. Both as a human and as a vampire, although probably not as much as you're thinking.”

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