Part 151 (2/2)

Capt. M. (More gruffly.) Dry up and get dressed! If I choose to clean your spurs, you're under my orders.

Capt. G. dresses. M. follows suit.

Capt. M. (Critically, walking round.) M'--yes, you'll do. Only don't look so like a criminal. Ring, gloves, fees--that's all right for me.

Let your moustache alone. Now, if the ponies are ready, we'll go.

Capt. G. (Nervously.) It's much too soon. Let's light up! Let's have a peg! Let's--

Capt. M. Let's make bally a.s.ses of ourselves!

BELLS. (Without.)--”Good-peo-ple-all To prayers-we call.”

Capt. M. There go the bells! Come on--unless you'd rather not. (They ride off.)

BELLS.--”We honor the King And Brides joy do bring--Good tidings we tell, And ring the Dead's knell.”

Capt. G. (Dismounting at the door of the Church.) I say, aren't we much too soon? There are no end of people inside. I say, aren't we much too late? Stick by me, Jack! What the devil do I do?

Capt. M. Strike an att.i.tude at the head of the aisle and wait for Her.

(G. groans as M. wheels him into position before three hundred eyes.)

Capt. M. (Imploringly.) Gaddy, if you love me, for pity's sake, for the Honor of the Regiment, stand up! Chuck yourself into your uniform! Look like a man! I've got to speak to the Padre a minute. (G. breaks into a gentle Perspiration.) If you wipe your face I'll never be your best man again. Stand up! (G. trembles visibly.)

Capt. M. (Returning.) She's coming now. Look out when the music starts.

There's the organ beginning to clack.

Bride steps out of 'rickshaw at Church door. G. catches a glimpse of her and takes heart.

ORGAN.--”The Voice that breathed o'er Eden, That earliest marriage day, The primal marriage-blessing, It hath not pa.s.sed away.”

Capt. M. (Watching G.) By Jove! He is looking well. 'Didn't think he had it in him.

Capt. G. How long does this hymn go on for?

Capt. M. It will be over directly. (Anxiously.) (Beginning to bleach and gulp.) Hold on, Gabby, and think 'o the Regiment.

Capt. G. (Measuredly.) I say, there's a big brown lizard crawling up that wall.

Capt. M. My Sainted Mother! The last stage of collapse!

Bride comes up to left of altar, lifts her eyes once to G., who is suddenly smitten mad.

Capt. G. (To himself again and again.) Little Featherweight's a woman--a woman! And I thought she was a little girl.

Capt. M. (In a whisper.) Form the halt--inward wheel.

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