Part 21 (1/2)
He sat up, pushed back his rumpled hair, looking very young and vulnerable. ”It hurt me, Mandy,” he said, because the thought of being without her was not pleasant. Because he needed to know that at least one person on the d.a.m.ned planet was on Rocky Miller's side. ”I'm not in love with-the girl I'm-”
”I don't want to know who she is,” Mandy said quickly.
”You want to try to patch things up?”
”That's the idea,” she said.
”I'm going to take part of the colony south sooner or later,” he said, watching her closely for her reaction.
”That can be called mutiny,” she warned him.
He flopped onto his back. ”So you're going to side with him against me.”
”Right is right, Rocky. I'm not siding with anyoneagainst you. Will you promise me that you won't do anything precipitous? That you'll let the matter be settled in a democratic way?”
”He'll never call for free elections,” Rocky said. ”You know that.”
”He'll call for elections when the time is right, when there is no chance of being surprised by some unknown danger.”
”Which will be never. Look”-he sat back up again- ”you'll have to make a choice. I'm willing to forget-”
”Oh, thank you very much.”
He frowned. ”If you're going to be a smart-a.s.s-”
”All right, let's both forget.”
”You'll either be with me or against me,” he said.
”I won't be a part of a mutiny.”
”You must think I'm d.a.m.ned stupid,” he said. ”I have the support of a lot of people.”
”If you want to be a politician, wait until the elections. Will you do that?”
”I'm not going to do anything dumb.” ”All right.”
”When the time comes, you'll have to make a choice, Mandy. You'll have to go with me or stay here alone.”
”No discussion allowed? I won't have a vote?”
”Ever since we got married we've lived whereyour work demanded that we live. Our schedule has always been built aroundyour work. I think it's about time I had a choice.”
There was truth in what he said. ”I reserve the right to discuss any plans that affect both of us, ” she said, ”but, in general, I agree that you should have a choice. I would hope that you'd listen to and weigh my opinion.”
”Haven't I always?” He sat up, swung himself around to face her, and took both her hands in his. ”I've never stopped loving you, Mandy. I just have to know one thing: When the time comes and if I choose to move to the south, will you go with me?”
”Yes,” she said, for she felt that most of the colonists were good, solid-minded people who would respect Rodrick s leaders.h.i.+p and the s.h.i.+p's const.i.tution. At worst, she would have months, perhaps years to try to change Rocky's mind about going his own way.
”Want to come back to bed?” she asked, rising. His arms closed around her, hands seeking out the thinness of her gown under her robe.
”Good idea,” he said.
He made love to her with a vigor that a.s.sured her partic.i.p.ation, and it was only when it was over and he was sleeping that she wondered if he'd pleasured his lover equally as well only a couple of hours earlier.
She pushed that thought out of her mind. She had made her decision. She had loved Rocky and still felt a certain fondness for him and excitement when they were making love. She was no teenager, no young, star-struck lover. She was strong minded enough to overcome her infatuation with Duncan. To a.s.sure that, she would take one final, conclusive step at the first opportunity.
The opportunity came the very next day. Rodrick came into her lab at midmorning, drew himself a cup of coffee, and said, ”I was just talking with Jacob West. He got some impressive recordings of animal sounds during the night and wants permission to go down to the jungle floor and take a quick look around. I wish there were some way to get Mopro down there, but he'd be handicapped in the undergrowth. ”
”I think the admiral's armaments can handle most anything that comes along,” she said.
”Did you see the film of those water things?”
”First thing this morning,” she answered. ”Big, aren't they?”
”Big.” He smiled at her appreciatively.
”Explosive bullets killed the miners,” she said. ”Yes.” He leaned his hip against the side of a workta-ble. ”I told Jacob to go ahead, but to take no chances.”
She was going to miss these easy chats. She knew she had become Duncan's one confidant. Strong, private man that he was, he would never discuss his decisions and his reasoning with anyone else. But there was nothing for her to do but plunge ahead.
”Duncan, Rocky was using the s.h.i.+p's night eyes the night we went outside.”
His coffee cup froze on the way toward his lips.
”Mandy, I'm so sorry.”
It was just the right response, the perfect reaction. She felt her eyes mist. Infatuation? h.e.l.l, she was so much in love with the man that her entire being cried out to him.
”It wasn't your fault,” she said stiffly. She smiled. ”Or, at best, it was as much my fault as yours.”
”That explains his change of att.i.tude,” Rodrick said glumly, for he, too, was feeling guilt. A good commanding officer never, never coveted the wife of a junior.
Mandy had the urge to tell him that Rocky's att.i.tude toward him had started going bad before then, but she was silent.
Rodrick was thinking how badly he was going to miss these moments, innocent on the surface, not so innocent in his heart, for he made excuses to drop into her lab, found it delightfully easy to talk with her, felt that she understood his need to talk things over with her, if for nothing more than to have a pair of sympathetic ears, a sounding board.
”I have never loved a woman as much as I love you,” Rodrick said, and his tone told her that his statement was the end of something, not a beginning. ”If you want to leave him, G.o.d help me, I'll accept you with joy and with open arms, and worry about the consequences later.”
”No,” she said, putting her hand on his arm and withdrawing it quickly, for just being near him ate away at her resolution. ”We can't do that. There's already a split, factions forming.”
”Divorce him. Be my wife.” Even as his heart formed the words, his mind was seeing the possible damage that could be done to the colony and the chances of completing his mission, but if she had said yes, he would have risked it all.
”Oh, Dunc, you know we can't.”
”I know that you love me.”