Part 23 (1/2)
”Yeah, when you operate from fear, things can get dark really quickly.”
”I know, but d.a.m.n, I love him. And I really want to work these things out.”
”You have to try, Ava. You know I tried to keep you from him for a long time, but when I see you together, I realize you can't fight destiny. If I've ever met two people who are meant for each other, it's you two.”
I give her a hug before we rejoin the party on the dance floor.
The next morning, we're worn around the edges from our emotional journey. It's also intensely sobering to realize that we're going home today. Part of me is fearful to leave the coc.o.o.n of our hotel room. There's a magical feeling about Santa Fe. What if we've been under a spell that shatters under the harsh light of L.A.?
Max pulls me close. ”I don't want to leave Santa Fe,” he whispers.
”What if everything's different when we get home?”
”We can't let that happen, Ava.” He sighs with a tinge of sadness.
On the drive to the airport in Albuquerque, I quietly watch the New Mexico landscape through my window. I'm drawn to the blanket of purple hills nestled up to the cloudy sky. I want to get out of the car and run through the fields until my legs give out or I take flight, but I remain silent as we speed along. Max is immersed in his thoughts too, as he drives us away from our magic place.
The license plate on the car in front of us reads New Mexico, Land of Enchantment. Nothing could be truer.
On the plane, he takes my hand and runs his fingertips across my palm, writing silent notes and outlining simple drawings of animals and stars. I wish I could look into his head and see what he sees. Maybe I'll never understand him, but because I love him, I'll never stop trying.
We walk with Brian and Jess to the baggage claim. When it's time to get our cars, Max pulls me into his arms, and I drop my bags.
”I'll call you tonight,” he whispers.
”And in the morning,” I demand. We're both overloaded this week, so even though it'll only be a few days until I see him again, any separation leaves me hungry.
”d.a.m.n, Ava, what am I going to do without you?”
Before I can respond, his lips are on me and I'm falling into him. I can't hear the taxis or the chant of worn travelers...all I can hear is my heart pounding and I feel a tear trail down my cheek. I feel silly about crying and try to brush it away.
Jess moans. ”For f.u.c.k's sake. You two act like this is good-bye forever. Enough with the melodrama. We're outta here. Ava, come on!”
I gather up my bags as Jess and Brian give Max quick good-byes.
”I love you!” I call as I move away toward the parking shuttle.
He stands completely still as travelers speed past him. The vision of him-hands in his pockets, head tipped sideways, a quiet smile on his face and love in his eyes-fills my heart and my mind until I'm so full I can barely move. Brian takes several steps back, grabs my arm and pulls me along.
He laughs. ”d.a.m.n, girl, you've got it bad.”
I sigh before turning away. ”Oh, Brian, you have no idea.”
Chapter Seventeen / I am His Queen.
If I know what love is, it is because of you.
~ Herman Hesse ”Ava, did I wake you?” he whispers, as I cradle the phone to my ear.
”No, I've just been lying in bed thinking about you...waiting for your call.”
He groans. ”d.a.m.n, don't make me think about you in bed. I'll have to come over and keep you up all night.”
”Mmm. What have you been up to, handsome? Did you have a good evening?”
”I haven't stopped painting since I got home. I've never been so inspired.”
He sounds so excited. ”Maybe it's because you're in love,” I tease.
”That's what your love does to me, Ava.”
I sigh, my breath heavy with satisfaction. ”That makes me happy. Will you show me the work when I see you next?”
”I'll show you everything. You're in my art now. You're part of everything I do.”
Hours later, my room slowly fills with light, waking me before my alarm, and I glide effortlessly through my morning. Even Sean notices the change, and I do my best to avoid his probing questions. I'm not letting anything or anyone burst my happy bubble today.
That evening, I start my research on Andrea Altman, but my mind constantly drifts to Max. We have a dinner date scheduled for Wednesday night, and I can't wait to see him again.
I have a vague sense of my phone ringing, and it wakes me up. I slowly move the phone to my face and blink several times at the screen. Max.
”Hey, handsome. What's up?”
”Ava, I need to see you. Can I come over?”
”It's the middle of the night. Are you okay? Is something wrong?”
”I'm just wound up. I haven't slept since Santa Fe. I mean, I've tried, but I haven't been able to. I've been painting, and I can't stop; I'm starting to freak out.”
”Where are you?”
”I've been driving around. I'm almost to West Hollywood.”
”Come over. I'll be here.”
I slide out of bed, my naked skin shocked by the cool evening air. I've taken to sleeping nude since Santa Fe, only the sheets cradling me as I sleep.
I wrap myself in my pale blue silk robe and wander into the kitchen for a gla.s.s of water. I'm glad Riley's spent the night at Dylan's, now that Max is headed over. Only moments later, he knocks on the door, and I feel a rush of adrenaline, knowing he's here.
I open the door. Max looks completely exhausted and wired, and although his lack of sleep has worn him down, he still lights up when he sees me.
I grab his hand and lead him inside before caressing his face. ”Baby, you look so tired. Are you okay?”
”I am now. I just needed to see you.” He wraps his arms around me and holds me close. His sigh runs straight through me. I want to chase away his anxiety and smooth out every wrinkle and b.u.mp.
”Come, sit down.”