Part 4 (1/2)

Great news, Mable. A fello whats got a friend in the audience department in Was.h.i.+ngton just told me the wars goin to end about the 15th of Feb.

Dont say nothin to n.o.body about it. It might look as if I was gettin mixed up in politiks. I put in for a furlo on the 5th tho. Then I wont have to come back, eh Mable? Ill bet your glad. Its great to think of gettin into a place where you cant see through the walls and there aint three inches of mud on the floor. An think of not havin to tie the doors together when you come in or crawl underneath em on your hans and nees and not havin to put everything you own in the world under the bed. But I guess you dont care as much about these things as I will.

This would be a good trainin camp for artik explorers. I bet the fello that picks out the camps ether owns a cold storage plant in civil life or else they do it by mail order. It got so cold the other night the silver in the thermometer disappeared. It aint been seen since.

[Ill.u.s.tration: ”STUCK MY HEAD OUT OF THE BLANKETS”]

We got a comical guy in the tent. Bill Huggins. Me an hims a pair. Keep everybody laffin all the time. Bill likes things hot about as well as me. Every nite he fills the Sibly stove so full of wood that he has to hammer the last piece in. It gets so hot that it jumps up and down like a mad monkey. Thats the way Siblys do when they get awful hot. Were not bothered by that much though.

We got another guy thats a fresh air feend. His name is Angus MacKenzie.

Hes Scotch. Hes so close himself that he has to have lots of air or hed smother. Every nite he pulls up the side of the tent by his bed. No one likes fresh air in its place better than me, Mable, but when its as fresh as this air is its place is outside.

I wake up in the nite rolled into a ball like a porkypine. Theys things in the middle of my back like his stickers. If I dont move I get cramps.

If I do, I freeze. All around the place where Im lyin is as warm as a park bench in winter. Sometimes I forget and push my feet down.

That's awful.

One night I thought I heard the horn and stuck my head out of the blankets. It was Angus with his head and one arm outside snorin. Can you beat that. I bet he swims in the ice all winter home and has his pictur in the Sunday paper. I froze my ear before I could get my head back.

Thats the kind of a fello he is.

Its awful cold in the mornin. They blow three calls. The first is just for the slow guys. I can make it nice from the march if I dont take too many close off. Thats no temtashun. One guy jumps up just before a.s.sembly and makes a lot of fuss like hes gettin dressed. He dont fool n.o.body. The only thing he takes off at nite is his hat. Some says that falls off when he gets into bed.

Angus gets up every mornin in his BVDs. I think his skin is furlined.

You can hear him smas.h.i.+n the ice in the pale with a hair brush outside.

Then you can tell hes was.h.i.+n by the noise he makes like a busted steam pipe. Then he comes smas.h.i.+n into the tent leavin the door open and wipes the ice off en his face with somebody elses towel an says gosh thats great. I hate that kind of a fello.

Bill Huggins cleaned the stove with his towel last week sos everything would be neet for inspecshun. Angus got hold of it in the dark next mornin. Gee, youd haft laft, Mable.

[Ill.u.s.tration: ”WHEN I LOOKED IN THE TIN MIRROR I THOUGHT I WAS STARVIN”]

I got the little tin mirror you sent, Mable. Its unbreakable all right.

Bill Huggins got so mad at it he tried to break it and couldnt. The first time I looked in it I got an awful start. I thought I was starvin.

I looked like one of them picturs of hungry Indiens that the mishunaries show you just before they pa.s.s the plate. Bill Huggins swiped it later and says why didnt somebody tell him he was gettin so fat cause he couldnt go home on a furlo like that. He didnt eat nothin for three meals and then he looked at hisseif with the mirror turned the other way. Its like one of those Coney Island places where a fello can go in and laff at hisself for a dime. Next time send me one that will break.

I got to quit now and buy a couple of pies before I go to bed. I dont sleep good less I have a little somethin on my stummick. Dont say nothin about what I told you in the beginnin.

Until the 15th Feb. then.

Yours faithfully, _Bill._

_Dere Mable:_

The Captin aint goin to give me my furlo. Says theres an order out against it. Someones got it in for me, Mable. I bought a wooley coat awful cheap from Bill Huggins. Right away theres an order against em.

Angus MacKenzie sold me a pair of leather leggins for less than he paid for them. Some bargain from Angus. The next day they issue an order that you cant wear em. Now they hear I want to go home an put an order out against it. If theyd only come right out an say Bill Smith were goin to get you. Sneaky. Thats what I call it, Mable.