Part 9 (1/2)
”Don't be silly, I can't go! If I do, he's bound to find out what an absolute idiot I am, and then where will I be? He'll throw me out on my ear!”
”And then again, he might not.”
”I'm no gambler, Ada. Losing matters too much. I'd rather stay here and pull the pieces together. Maybe it's just a physical infatuation and I'll outgrow it,” she added hopefully.
”If you'd walk through fire just to look at him, darling,” Ada said gently, ”it's got to be more than physical. And you know it.”
”But what can I do?” Kati wailed. ”Ada, I'm not the kind to have affairs. I'm too inhibited.”
”Not when you write, you aren't!”
”That's different. When I write, I'm a storyteller, telling a story. In real life, I get too emotionally involved, and then I can't let go. And Egan hates even the idea of involvement.”
”He looked pretty involved to me this morning. He could hardly take his eyes off you long enough to eat,” Ada remarked.
”You know why, too.”
”Men are attracted first, then their emotions get involved. Look at Marshal and me! He liked my legs, so he called me. And now here we are almost engaged!”
”And here it is Christmas and I've ruined it again,” Kati moaned.
”No, you haven't. Egan will be back when he cools down. He's mad at himself, I'll bet, not at you.” She smiled. ”He didn't mean to hurt you.”
Tears welled up in her eyes and she turned away. ”I never meant to hurt him, either.”
”Then cheer up. It will all work out, honest it will.”
”So you keep saying. I'll try to listen this time.”
They had everything ready just as Marshal and Jack arrived, and the four of them stood around and talked until noon.
”Should we wait for Egan?” Marshal asked.
”Well,” Ada said, biting her lower lip. ”I don't know when he'll be back.”
Even as she said the words, the front door opened and Egan walked in. He tossed his Stetson onto the hall table.
”Waiting for me? I got held up at Jennie's,” he added, glancing toward Kati with pure malice in his eyes.
So much for Ada's helpful optimism, Kati thought as she took off her ap.r.o.n. She didn't even look at him again, and her entire att.i.tude was so cool and controlled that she felt she deserved an Oscar for her performance all the way through the holiday meal. The turkey was perfectly browned, the ham beautifully glazed. Egan, at the head of the table, carved, and Ada pa.s.sed the plates down. He said grace, and everyone was far too busy to talk for the first few minutes.
Kati was just bursting with fury about Jennie. She could imagine what Egan had been doing and why he'd been held up. She was rigid with the effort not to get up and fling the turkey carca.s.s the length of the table at him.
”The cherry pie is delicious,” Jack offered as he finished his last mouthful and followed it with the rich black coffee Ada had made.
”Thank you,” Kati said with a smile.
”Kati does all the desserts,” Ada told Marshal. ”I'm no hand at pastry.”
Egan hadn't touched any of the pies or fruitcake. He barely seemed to eat anything, like Kati. Her eyes found his across the room, and it was like lightning striking. She felt the longing she'd been fighting down all day coming to life again. It was incredible that she could look at him and go to pieces like this.
”Well, I hate to eat and run,” Jack said, ”but I promised my cousin I'd stop by and see him and his family this afternoon. There are so few of us left these days.”
”Yes, I know what you mean,” Ada said quietly, and her face showed the loneliness Kati knew she must feel this first Christmas without her mother.
”I'm sure you do. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up such a sad subject,” Jack apologized.
Ada smiled. ”Don't be silly. Happy Christmas, Jack. I'm glad you could come.”
”Me, too,” Kati said, avoiding Egan's eyes as she got up to walk Jack to the door.
”I enjoyed it,” Jack said. ”Merry Christmas!”
Kati saw him out into the corridor. ”I'll see you later, then.”
Jack stared down at her quietly. ”Do you realize how that big cattleman feels about you?” he asked unexpectedly.
Her face paled. ”What?”
”He watched you as if he'd bleed to death looking. And the one time I smiled at you, I thought he was going to come over that table to get me.” He laughed self-consciously. ”If you get a minute, how about telling him that we haven't got anything serious going? I'd like to keep my insurance premiums where they are.”
She laughed too, because they were friends who could ask such things of each other. ”I'll do my best. Want to spend New Year's with us?”
”As far as I know, I don't have a thing planned. But,” he added with a wink, ”you might. So let's leave it alone for now, and I'll call you. All right?”
”All right. Merry Christmas,” she added.
”You, too.” He bent and kissed her lightly on the cheek. He was just lifting his head when Egan appeared in the doorway with eyes that glittered dangerously.
”You're taking a long time just to say good-bye,” he muttered.
”Discussing the weather,” Jack said quickly. ”d.a.m.ned cold outside! In here, too. Bye, Kati!” And he took off for the elevator with a grin.
Egan caught Kati's hand in his, holding it warmly, closely, and pulled her just inside the door. They were out of view of the living room, and when he closed the outside door, they might have been alone in the world.
”I can't stand it,” he ground out, gripping her arms as if he were afraid she'd fly out of his reach. ”You're driving me out of my mind, d.a.m.n it!”
”You started it,” she bit off, keeping her voice down.
”I didn't mean it, though,” he returned in a harsh undertone. His hands loosened their grip, became caressing, burning her even through the blouse's long sleeves. ”Kati, I'm so used to hitting at you...but this morning I didn't mean to.”
Her lower lip trembled as she looked up at him. ”You went to her,” she said shakily.
Every trace of expression left his face, and only his eyes showed any emotion at all. They glittered at her like silver in sunlight. ”I didn't touch her,” he said huskily. ”How could I? All I want in the world is you!”
Her lips parted, and before she could speak, he bent and caressed them slowly, sensuously, with his own. His breath was suddenly ragged, uneven, and the hands that were on her arms moved up to cup her face and hold it where he wanted it.
”Are you going to fight me every inch of the way?” he asked in a strained tone.
”I'm not,” she protested dazedly.