Part 13 (2/2)
”How intoxicating, indeed, how penetrating--like a most precious wine--is that love which is the s.e.xual transformed by the magic of the will into the emotional and spiritual! And what a loss, on the merest ground of prudence and the economy of pleasure, is the unbridled waste along physical channels! So nothing is so much dreaded between lovers as just this--the vulgarization of love--and this is the rock upon which marriage so often splits. There is a kind of illusion about physical desire similar to that which a child suffers from when, seeing a beautiful flower, it instantly s.n.a.t.c.hes the same and destroys in a few moments the form and fragrance which attracted it. He only gets the full glory who holds back a little, and he only truly possesses who is willing if need be not to possess. * * * It must be remembered, however, that in order for a perfect intimacy between two people their physical endearment must by the nature of the case be free to each other. The physical endearment may not be the object for which they come together; but, if it is denied, its denial will bar any real sense of repose and affiance, and make their mutual a.s.sociation restless, vague, tentative and unsatisfied. I think, from various considerations, that, generally, even without the actual physical s.e.x-act, there is an interchange of vital and ethereal elements--so that it may be said that there is a kind of generation taking place within each of the persons concerned, through their mutual influence on each other, as well as that more specialized generation which consists in the propagation of the race.”
Count Tolstoi said on this subject: ”The difference in organization between man and woman is not only physiological but extends also into other and moral characteristics, such as go to make manhood in man, and womanhood (or femininity) in woman. The attraction between the s.e.xes is based not merely upon the yearning for physical union, but likewise upon that reciprocal attraction exerted by the contrasting qualities of the s.e.xes each upon the other, manhood upon womanhood, and womanhood upon manhood. The one s.e.x endeavors to complement itself with the other, and therefore the attraction between the s.e.xes demands a union of spirit precisely identical with the physical union.
”The tendency toward physical and spiritual union forms two phases of manifestation of one and the same fountain-head of desire, and they bear such intimate relations to each other that the gratification of the one inclination inevitably weakens the other. So far as the yearning for spiritual union is satisfied, to that extent the yearning for physical union is diminished or entirely destroyed; and, vice versa, the gratification of the physical desire weakens or destroys the spiritual.
And, consequently, the attraction between the s.e.xes is not only physical affinity leading to procreation, but is also the attraction of opposites for one another, capable of a.s.suming the form of the most spiritual union in thought only, or of the most animal union, causing the propagation of children, and all those varied degrees of relations.h.i.+p between the one and the other. The question of upon which footing the relation between the s.e.xes is to be established and maintained, is settled by deciding what method of union is regarded at any given time, or for all time, as good, proper, and therefore desirable. * * *
”The nearer the union approaches the extreme physical boundary, the more it kindles the physical pa.s.sions and desires, and the less satisfaction it gets; the nearer it approaches the opposite extreme spiritual boundary, the less new pa.s.sions are excited and the greater is the satisfaction. The nearer it is to the first, the more destructive it is to animal energy; the nearer it approaches the second, the spiritual, the more serene, the more enjoyable and forceful is the general condition. * * * Taking into consideration the varying conditions of temperament, and above all what the contracting parties regard as good, proper, and desirable, marriage for some will approach the spiritual union, and for others the physical; but the nearer the union approaches the spiritual the more complete will be the satisfaction. The substance of what has been said is this: that the relation between the s.e.xes have two functions, i. e., the reproductive, and the affectional; and that the s.e.xual energy, if only it have no conscious desire to beget children, must be always directed in the way of affection and love. The manifestation which this energy a.s.sumes depends upon custom or reason; the gradual bringing of the reason into accord with the principles herein expounded, and a gradual reorganization of customs consonant with them, results in saving men from many of their pa.s.sions, and giving them satisfaction for their higher s.e.xual instincts and desires.”
Some capable writers on the subject have held that in the practice of the methods of semi-continence, such as have been referred to in the foregoing pages of this part of the book, there may lie the danger of excessive stimulation of the s.e.xual centres, without the safety-valve of the physical and nervous relief which follows as a natural sequence in the ordinary s.e.xual relations. The advocates of these methods, however, reply that such objections while valid in the case of persons who practice the same only because opportunity prevents the performance of the usual physical relation, still have no true application to those who adopt these methods in a conscientious and honest manner, and who maintain THE PROPER MENTAL ATt.i.tUDE toward the whole question.
These advocates say that the MENTAL EFFECT upon the secretions of the body must be taken into account in all considerations of the question.
They say that just as the gastric juice will begin to flow in response to the mental image or idea of food, and the mother's milk in response to the cry of the child for food, so do the s.e.xual secretions, direction of the circulation, and other physiological activities result from the mental pictures or idea of s.e.xual congress. They hold that if the mind of the husband be filled with mental images of s.e.xual congress, then there is set into operation the process of secretion of seminal fluids, and the consequent engorgement of the blood-vessels concerned therewith, which are denied the normal physiological relief, and accordingly produce bad effects upon the nervous system. But they likewise claim that if the mind of the husband entertains ideas merely of physical endearment and caress as ”an end to itself,” then there is no mental incentive toward the secretion of the seminal fluids, and the constant engorgement of the blood-vessels, and no nerve force is generated--and therefore no nerve-shock is experienced by reason of frustrated manifestation and expression.
Parkhurst says regarding the point just mentioned: ”In the relations between the s.e.xes, the question of how the a.s.sociation of the husband and the wife shall stimulate the affectional or generative action or s.e.xual batteries must depend greatly upon their habits of a.s.sociation.
We have only to accustom ourselves to a.s.sociating the relation with the affectional action, by repeated repet.i.tion when the affectional action is all that is felt or thought of, in order to cultivate such habits and a.s.sociations as will make the a.s.sociation tend to REPRESS pa.s.sional desires, by the direction of the s.e.xual forces into the channel of affectional attraction and functioning. * * * The form of the s.e.xual manifestation will be largely influenced, by the mind, and largely by force with these principles, and the gradual formation of habits consistent therewith, will make more and more evident their beneficial operation.”
There is much interest now being taken by thinking people in some phases of the general subject of semi-continence, and many thoughtful and conscientious persons find in it at least the promise of a worthy and honest solution of the problem of Continence as applied to Birth Control. Such persons claim to find in this general cla.s.s of Birth Control methods a happy medium between the rigid practice of absolute Continence in the marriage relations, on the one hand, and the more popular methods of Contraception, on the other hand.
Contraception.
We now come to the consideration of the subject of Contraception, pure and simple, the methods of which contemplate the manifestation of the usual physical s.e.xual relations between husband and wife, accompanied by an avoidance of the union of the male and female elements of reproduction which result in conception.
It should once more be positively emphasized that BY CONTRACEPTION IS NOT MEANT ABORTION. ABORTION means ”the premature expulsion of the human embryo or foetus; miscarriage.” CONTRACEPTION, on the other hand, means simply the prevention of the union of the male and female elements of reproduction, and consequently, the preventing of the process which evolves the foetus or embryo. CONTRACEPTION IS PREVENTION; ABORTION IS DESTRUCTION. There is here a difference as wide as the poles. As Dr.
William J. Robinson says, in a paragraph previously quoted in this book: ”In inducing abortion, one destroys something already formed--a foetus, or an embryo, a fertilized ovum, a potential human being. In prevention, however, one merely prevents chemically or mechanically the spermatozoa from coming in contact with the ovum. There is no greater sin or crime in this than there is in simple abstinence, in refraining from s.e.xual intercourse.”
Unfortunately for the cause of scientific Birth Control in America, the laws of the United States (and of most of the separate States) at present prevent the public dissemination by written or printed words, or by public teaching of information concerning the contraceptive methods known to all intelligent physicians and others who have made a scientific study of the subject. The conveyal of such information, in the manner stated, is made a criminal offence, subject to heavy fines and imprisonment. Though there is a strong movement underway on the part of many intelligent and earnest citizens of this country, having for its object the repeal of such prohibitive laws, and the pa.s.sage of careful legislation designed to give the dissemination of such instruction a legal and certain status, under the restrictions imposed by common sense, intellectual honesty, and the best interests of the race--to place it upon the same footing as in certain advanced European countries--the fact remains that at the present time no person may give such information without subjecting himself to indictment and probable conviction as a law-breaker and enemy of society. UNDER THE CIRc.u.mSTANCES, OF COURSE, THERE HAS BEEN, AND WILL BE, NO ATTEMPTS TO FURNISH SUCH FORBIDDEN INFORMATION IN THIS BOOK. So long as these laws stand unrepealed on the statute books, they must be observed by all law abiding citizens.
Dr. Wm. J. Robinson, an authority on the subject, says: ”We believe that under any conditions, and particularly under our present economic conditions, human beings should be able to control the number of their offspring. They should be able to decide how many children they want to have, and when they want to have them. And to accomplish this result we demand that the knowledge of controlling the number of offspring, in other and plainer words, the knowledge of preventing undesirable conception, should not be considered a criminal offence punishable by hard labor in Federal prisons, but that it should be considered knowledge useful and necessary to the welfare of the race and of the individual; and that its dissemination should be as permissible as is the dissemination of any hygienic, sanitary or eugenic knowledge.”
THE ONLY POSSIBLE RELIEF FROM THE PRESENT CONDITION IS SEEN BY CAREFUL THINKERS TO BE IN THE EDUCATION OF THE PUBLIC AS TO THE NEEDS OF THE CASE, AND THE PRESENTATION OF THE SCIENTIFIC ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF RATIONAL AND PROPER BIRTH CONTROL, TO THE END THAT PUBLIC OPINION, ONCE SEEING THE TRUTH IN THE CASE, MAY BE SUFFICIENTLY STRONG AS TO BRING ABOUT A CHANGE IN THE PRESENT ANTIQUATED AND BIGOTED LAWS. BUT, SO LONG AS THE LAWS REMAIN ON THE STATUTE BOOKS, THEY MUST BE OBSERVED AND OBEYED. EDUCATION, NOT ANARCHY, IS THE TRUE REMEDY.
The following general remarks on the subject of Contraception, by Havelock Ellis, the well-known English authority of the subject of s.e.x in Modern Society, may perhaps prove interesting to students of the general subject: Ellis says: ”Many ways of preventing conception have been devised since the method which is still the commonest was first introduced, so far as our certainly imperfect knowledge extends, by a clever Jew, Onan (Genesis, Chap. x.x.xVIII) whose name has since been wrongly attached to another practice with which the Mosaic record in no way a.s.sociates him. There are now many contraceptive methods, some dependent on precautions adopted by the man, others dependent upon the woman, others again which take the form of an operation permanently preventing conception, and, therefore, not to be adopted save by couples who already have as many children as they desire, or else who ought never to have children at all and thus wisely adopt a method of sterilization. It is unnecessary here, even if it were otherwise desirable, to discuss these various methods in detail. It is even useless to do so, for we must bear in mind that no method can be absolutely approved or absolutely condemned. Each may be suitable under certain conditions and for certain couples, and it is not easy to recommend any method indiscriminately. We need to know the intimate circ.u.mstances of individual cases. For the most part, experience is the final test.
”Forel compared the use of contraceptive devices to the use of eyegla.s.ses, and it is obvious that, without expert advice, the results in either case may sometimes be mischievous or at all events ineffective. Personal advice and instruction are always desirable. In Holland nurses are medically trained in a practical knowledge of contraceptive methods, and are thus enabled to enlighten the women of the community. This is an admirable plan. Considering that the use of contraceptive measures is now almost universal, it is astonis.h.i.+ng that there are yet so many 'civilized' countries in which this method of enlightenment is not everywhere adopted. Until it is adopted, and a necessary knowledge of the most fundamental facts of s.e.xual life brought into every home, the physician must be regarded as the proper adviser.
It is true that until recently he was generally in these matters a blind leader of the blind. Nowadays it is beginning to be recognized that the physician has no more serious and responsible duty than that of giving help in the difficult path of s.e.xual life. Very frequently, indeed, even yet, he has not risen to a sense of his responsibilities in this matter.
It is well to remember, however, that a physician who is unable or unwilling to give frank and sound advice in this most important department of life, is unlikely to be reliable in any other department.
If he is not up to date here, he is probably not up to date anywhere.
”Whatever may be the method adopted, there are certain conditions which it must fulfill, even apart from its effectiveness as a contraceptive, in order to be satisfactory. Most of these conditions may be summed up in one: the most satisfactory method is that which least interferes with the normal process in the act of intercourse. Every s.e.xual act is, or should be, a miniature courts.h.i.+p, however long marriage may have lasted.
No outside mental tension or nervous apprehension must be allowed to intrude. Any contraceptive proceeding which hastily enters the atmosphere of love immediately before or immediately after the moment of union is unsatisfactory and may be injurious. It even risks the total loss of the contraceptive result, for at such moments the intended method may be ineffectively carried out, or neglected altogether. No method can be regarded as desirable which interferes with the sense of satisfaction and relief which should follow the supreme act of loving union. No method which produces a nervous jar in one of the parties, even though it may be satisfactory to the other, should be tolerated.
Such considerations must for some couples rule out certain methods. We cannot, however, lay down absolute rules, because methods some couples may find satisfactory prove unsatisfactory in other cases. Experience, aided by expert advice, is the only final criterion.
”When a contraceptive method is adopted under satisfactory conditions, with a due regard to the requirements of the individual couple, there is little room to fear that any injurious results will be occasioned. It is quite true that many physicians speak emphatically concerning the injurious results to husband or to wife of contraceptive devices.
Although there has been exaggeration, and prejudice has often been imported into this question, and although most of the injurious results could have been avoided had trained medical help been at hand to advise better methods, there can be no doubt that much that has been said under this head is true. Considering how widespread is the use of these methods, and how ignorantly they have often been carried out, it would be surprising indeed if it were not true. But even supposing that the nervously injurious effects which have been traced to contraceptive practices were a thousandfold greater than they have been reported to be--instead of, as we are justified in believing, considerably less than they are reported--shall we therefore condemn contraceptive methods? To do so would be to ignore all the vastly greater evils which have followed in the past from unchecked reproduction. It would be a condemnation which, if we exercised it consistently, would destroy the whole of civilization and place us back in savagery. For what device of man, ever since man had any history at all, has not proved sometimes injurious?
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