Part 25 (2/2)
G.o.d, it was so nice. I hadn't realized how touch-starved I was.
I leaned my head back against him and he whispered something softly. Too soft for me to hear. The soft bristles on his cheek and jaw lightly p.r.i.c.kled the side of my face. Hands slid over my ribs, up my arms. Calloused fingers lightly stroked the sensitive underside of my arms. His body was solid behind me, strong, but he kept his touch light, restrained. I wasn't in the market for a rebound. My heart was too bruised for that, my mind too wary. I couldn't bring myself to move away from him, however. It felt too good there.
”Evelyn,” he said, his lips teasing my ear.
My breath caught, my eyelids shot open. I turned to find David staring back at me. The long hair was gone. It was still longish on top but cut short at the sides. He could probably do a neat Elvis pompadour if the fancy took him. A short, dark beard covered his lower face.
”Y-you're here,” I stuttered out. My tongue felt thick and useless inside my dry mouth. Christ, it was really him. Here in Portland. In the flesh.
”Yeah.” His blue eyes burned. He didn't say anything else. Music kept playing, people kept moving. The world only stopped turning for me.
”Why?”
”Ev?” Amanda put a hand to my arm and I jumped, the spell broken. She gave David a quick glance and then her face screwed up in distaste. ”What the f.u.c.k is he doing here?”
”It's okay,” I said.
Her gaze moved between David and me. She didn't really seem convinced. Fair enough.
”Amanda. Please.” I squeezed her fingers, nodded. After a moment she turned back to Jo who stared at David with open disbelief. And a healthy dose of star-struck. His new look made for a brilliant disguise. Unless you knew who you were looking for, of course.
I pushed through the crowd, getting the h.e.l.l out of there. I knew he'd follow. Of course he would. It was no accident he was there, though I had no d.a.m.n idea how he'd found me. I needed to get away from the heat and the noise so I could think straight. Down the back hallway past the men's and women's toilets. There, that was what I wanted. A big black door opened onto a back alleyway. Open night air. A few brave stars twinkled high overhead. Otherwise it was dark back here, damp from earlier summer rain. It was horrible and dirty and hateful. An ideal setting.
I might have been feeling a bit dramatic.
The door slammed shut behind David. He faced me, hands on hips. He opened his mouth to start talking and no, not happening. I snapped.
”Why are you here, David?”
”We need to talk.”
”No, we don't.”
He rubbed at his mouth. ”Please. There're things I have to tell you.”
”Too late.”
Looking at him revived the pain. As if I had wounds lingering just beneath the skin, waiting to resurface. I couldn't help staring at him, however. Parts of me were desperate for the sight of him, the sound of him. My head and heart were a wreck. David didn't appear so great himself. He looked tired. There were shadows beneath his eyes and he seemed a little pale, even in this c.r.a.ppy lighting. The earrings were missing, all of them gone. Not that I cared.
He rocked back on his heels, eyes watching me desperately. ”Jimmy went into rehab and there were other things going on I had to deal with. We had to do therapy together as part of his treatment. That's why I couldn't come straight away.”
”I'm sorry to hear about Jimmy.”
He nodded. ”Thanks. He's doing a lot better.”
”Good. That's good.”
Another nod. ”Ev, about Martha-”
”Whoa.” I held up a hand, backing up. ”Don't.”
His mouth turned down at the edges. ”We have to talk.”
”Do we?”
”Yes.”
”Because now you've decided you're ready? f.u.c.k you, David. It's been a month. Twenty-eight days without a word. I'm sorry about your brother, but no.”
”I wanted to make sure I was coming after you for the right reasons.”
”I don't even know what that means.”
”Ev-”
”No.” I shook my head, hurt and fury pus.h.i.+ng me hard. So I pushed at him even harder, sending him back a step. He hit the wall and I had nowhere else to go with him. But that didn't stop me.
I went to push at him again and he grabbed my hands. ”Calm down.”
”No!”
His hands encircled my wrists. He gritted his teeth, grinding his molars together. I heard it. Impressive that he didn't crack anything. ”No, what? No to talking now? What? What do you mean?”
”I mean no to everything and anything to do with you.” My words echoed through the narrow alleyway, up the sides of the buildings until they emptied out into the uncaring night sky. ”We're finished, remember? You're f.u.c.king done with me. I'm nothing to you. You said so yourself.”
”I was wrong. G.o.dd.a.m.n it, Ev. Calm down. Listen to me.”
”Let me go.”
”I'm sorry. But it's not what you think.”
Out of options, I got in his face. ”You don't get to come here now. You lied to me. You cheated on me.”
”Baby-”
”Don't you dare call me that,” I yelled.
”I'm sorry.” His gaze roamed my face, searching for sense maybe. He was s.h.i.+t out of luck. ”I'm sorry.”
”Stop.”
”I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” Over and over he said, chanting the most worthless words in all of time and s.p.a.ce. I had to stop it. Shut him up before he drove me insane. I smashed my mouth to his, halting the useless litany. He groaned and kissed me back hard, bruising my lips, hurting me. But then I hurt him too. The pain helped. I pushed my tongue into his mouth, taking what was supposed to be mine. In that moment I hated him and I loved him. There didn't seem to be any difference.
My hands were freed and I wound them around his neck. He turned us, setting my back to the rough brick wall. His touch burned through my skin and bones. It all happened so fast, there wasn't time to wonder about the wisdom of it. He pushed up my dress and tore at my panties. They didn't stand a chance. The cool of the night air and the heat of his palms smoothed over my thighs.
”I missed you so f.u.c.king much,” he groaned.
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