Part 20 (1/2)
”Let me think ...”
”There's a time limit.”
I screwed up my face at him. ”There is not a time limit.”
”There is,” he said. ”Because you can't try and think up something half a.s.sed to tell me. You've gotta give me the first worst thing that comes into your head that you don't want anyone else ever knowing about. This is about honesty.”
”Fine,” I sniffed. ”I kissed a girl named Amanda Harper when I was fifteen.”
His chin rose. ”You did?”
”Yes.”
He sidled closer, eyes curious. ”Did you like it?”
”No. Not really. I mean, it was okay.” I gripped the edge of the bench, hunching forward. ”She was the school lesbian and I wanted to see if I was one too.”
”There was just the one lesbian at your school?”
”Oh, I suspected quite a few people, but only she was open about it. She gave herself the t.i.tle.”
”Good for her.” His hands settled on my knees and pushed them apart, making room for him. ”Why did you think you were a lesbian?”
”To be accurate, I was hoping I was bi,” I said. ”More options. Because, honestly, the guys at school were ...”
”They were what?” He gripped my b.u.t.t and pulled me across the bench, bringing me closer. No way did I resist.
”They didn't really interest me, I guess.”
”But kissing your lesbian friend Amanda didn't do it for you either?” he asked.
”No.”
He clicked his tongue. ”d.a.m.n. That's a sad story. You're cheating, by the way.”
”What? How?”
”You were meant to tell me something terrible.” His smile left a mile way behind. ”Telling me you tongue-kissed a girl isn't even remotely terrible.”
”I never said there was tongue.”
”Was there?”
”A little. The briefest of touches, maybe. But then I got weirded out and stopped it.”
He took another swig of beer. ”Your ear tips are doing the pink thing again.”
”I bet they are.” I laughed and ducked my head. ”I didn't cheat. I never told anyone about that kiss. I was going to take it to my grave. You should feel honored by my trust in you.”
”Yeah, but telling me something I'm likely to find a huge turn-on is cheating. You were meant to tell me something terrible. The rules were clear. Go again and give me something bad this time.”
”It's a huge turn-on, huh?”
”Next time I hit the shower I'm definitely using that story.”
I bit my tongue and looked away. Memories from this morning of David soaping up my hands and then putting them on him a.s.sailed my mind. The thought of him masturbating to my brief bout of teen s.e.xual experimentation ... ”honored” wasn't quite the right word. But I couldn't say I wasn't pleased by the notion. ”Well, remember to make me older. Fifteen is a bit skeevy.”
”You only kissed her.”
”You'll leave it at that in your head? You'll respect accuracy and legalities, and not take it any further between Amanda and me?”
”Fine, I'll make you older. And wildly f.u.c.king curious.” He pulled me closer using the hands-on-my-b.u.t.t method again and I put my arms around him.
”Now, go again, and do it right this time.”
”Yeah, yeah.”
He gave the side of my neck a lingering kiss. ”You weren't lying about Amanda, were you?”
”No.”
”Good. I like that story. You should tell it to me often. Now go again.”
I ummed and ahhed, procrastinating my little heart out. David rested his forehead against mine with a heavy sigh. ”Just f.u.c.king tell me something.”
”I can't think of anything.”
”Bulls.h.i.+t.”
”I can't,” I whined. Not anything I wanted to share, anyway.
”Tell me.”
I groaned and b.u.mped my forehead against his ever so lightly. ”David, come on, you're the last person I want to make myself look bad in front of.”
He drew back, inspecting me down the length of his nose. ”You're worried about what I think of you?”
”Of course I am.”
”You're honest and good, baby. Nothing you might have done is gonna be that bad.”
”But honest isn't always good,” I said, trying to explain. ”I've opened my mouth plenty of times when I shouldn't have. Given people my opinion when I should have kept quiet. I react first and think later. Look at what happened in Vegas, between us. I didn't ask any of the right questions that morning. I'm always going to regret that.”
”Vegas was a pretty extreme situation.” His hand rubbed my back, rea.s.suring me. ”You got nothing to worry about.”
”You asked me how I felt when you had that groupie hanging off you in LA. I dealt with it then. But the fact is, if that happened now and some woman tried to come onto you, I'd probably get stabby. I'm not always going to react well to the rock star hoopla that surrounds you. What happens then?”
He made a noise in his throat. ”I dunno, I finally have to realize that you're human? That you f.u.c.k up sometimes just like everybody else?”
I didn't answer.