Part 31 (1/2)

He felt that thing in him burst. That impossibly large thing in him that had made him so uncomfortable these many weeks suddenly burst. He gripped the door handle, his mind trying to absorb that wonderful -and wretched-news. A moment or two pa.s.sed before he was able to speak, and he slowly turned to face her, his heart wrenching at the sight of the tears in her eyes.

Lord G.o.d, how he'd hurt her. ”You are certain?” he asked quietly.

”Yes, yes!” she cried heavenward. ”I am certain! You shall have your heir! You may toss poor Edmond aside like so much rubbish, but you will have your legitimate heir.”

His heart was breaking. He could feel it breaking. ”You have your wish as well,” he said quietly, and reached in his pocket and withdrew the diamond bracelet he had intended to give her as a gift. ”I did encounter Lady Waterstone at the zoo shortly after we arrived in London, but quite by accident...at least on my part. I suppose she followed me there. But therein I told her, unequivocally, that there is no one for me but you. And there hasn't been anyone but you in months. I told her that I love you. Desperately so.”

”W-what?” Ava tearfully stammered.

”I can't say why I feared it or why it has been so hard to admit...,” he said, and glanced up, into her lovely pale green eyes. ”And there is so...much about Edmond you do not know. But I love him, Ava. And I love you. I love you so much that I am astounded by the depth and breadth of it. I think of nothing but you. I dream of you. I yearn for you.”

It felt as if his knees were buckling, and he braced himself on the back of a chair. ”I ache for you, Ava. There is a hole in my day, a hole in my heart when you are away from me. I am nothing without you. It's what I've been trying to tell you,” he said, and tossed the bracelet onto the chair and walked out, completely spent.

Thirty.

A va felt quite ill the next morning, but couldn't be entirely certain if it was her pregnancy or the turmoil she felt about Jared.

Her illness tipped Phoebe to her condition, however, for she found Ava crouched over the basin and handed her a cool clean cloth. ”Are you carrying a child?” she asked bluntly.

”Yes,” Ava said, and sagged into a chair and closed her eyes.

”That's marvelous!” Phoebe squealed.

”No, it's not,” Ava said.”Ava! You will not sully this with your anger! It's marvelous!”Ava laughed wryly. ”It's not my anger that sullies it, Phoebe. It is my stupidity,” she said, and opened her eyes. ”He came here to tell me that he loved me. But I railed at him, Phoebe. I made quite an a.s.s ofmyself.”Phoebe laughed.”It's not the least bit funny,” Ava complained as Phoebe helped her to sit.”Yes it is. You can be rather dramatic when you are of a mind. You've had a lover's tiff, nothing more.””And you are the expert,” Ava said with a snort.

”I would do at least as well as you,” Phoebe said with a sniff.Ava couldn't argue. ”What am I to do, Phoebe? He was so angry when he left! I've never seen him soangry!”

”I don't know, exactly,” Phoebe admitted. ”But I should think three heads are wiser than one.””What do you mean?””I mean, darling, that there is more than one rule for hunting a man who will be a duke, and I rather suspect if we put our minds to it with Sally, we shall discover it.””Oh dear, no,” Ava said. ”I'm far too humiliated!””That is precisely the reason we must confer,” Phoebe said, and pulled her up. ”My only regret is that Greer is not here to help us. She always has such a wise head,” Phoebe said.”Me too,” Ava sighed, and together they went off to seek counsel.

Jared spent a miserable two days before his father's ball second-guessing himself, wondering when he'd become so d.a.m.nably soft.

He'd been such a fool, such a b.l.o.o.d.y fool. The entire business of love had never been his forte, and why in G.o.d's name he'd ever thought he could manage it...Well. He'd not make that mistake again. The next time a woman captured his heart-if ever-he'd head to Broderick Abbey and bury himself in work.

Unless, of course, she was there. In which case, perhaps he would walk into the Thames until the water covered his head and he could see no more, hear no more. Feel no more.

But she was carrying his child.

He thought about that a lot. He marveled at the miracle of it, wondered how he grew inside her, how his arms and legs developed. Or perhaps it was a girl, like Ava. Blond and pretty and far too irreverent for her own good. He'd missed the miracle of it with Edmond. He'd not miss it again.

Frankly, now that he'd unleashed the beast of love, he feared he'd never be able to rein it back in. He could only hope that he and the beast and Ava would find a comfortable way to exist with one another.

Yet at the moment, the wound was quite raw, which was why he sent a driver for her the night of the ball with strict instructions she was to be carried bodily if she thought to demur. The footman recoiled in horror when he said it, but Jared stepped forward so that they were nose to nose and explained to him very carefully that he'd not have a position in his household if he disobeyed him.

He dressed slowly, almost lethargically. He dreaded any evening in his father's company, but this evening -he didn't know if he could even bear it. To see her now, when the rift between them was so deep? His heart felt in danger of disintegrating completely. He felt so numb he wasn't certain that it hadn't already.

Phoebe finished winding the gold beads through Ava's hair that matched the beads sewn on the gold gown. On her wrist, Ava wore the diamond bracelet Jared had tossed on the chair. When she had finally picked it up that day, she had noticed that it was engraved on the inside. From J.B. to A.B. Hearts entwined will never grow apart.

She had cried like a baby.

And the gown she wore-well, Ava was often in awe of Phoebe's talent, but this was unbelievably beautiful. She felt like a princess.

So too in awe, apparently, were Lucy and Sally, who stood to one side, wide-eyed, staring at Ava as if

they'd never seen her before.”What?” she cried, terrified that her pregnancy was already noticeable.”Oh my dear, you are beautiful,” Lucy said.”Really?” Ava asked as she turned one way, then the other in the gold gown, noting how each little bead caught the light and made her gown appear to glitter.

”It complements your complexion,” Sally said, nodding thoughtfully, but eyeing her critically. ”Yet thereseems something a bit off, doesn't there?””There does?” Ava asked fearfully, peering at herself in the mirror.”Mmm,” Sally said, and she, Lucille, and Phoebe stared at Ava.”What is it, then? You'll drive me mad with all the gaping!””Aha,” Sally said, smiling a little. She stepped forward, sunk her fingers into Ava's bosom, and yanked the gown down to indecency.Ava and Lucy shrieked.”You're absolutely right,” Phoebe said, nodding approvingly. ”Just a hint of bosom.””A hint?” Ava cried. She moved to pull the bodice up, but was stopped by the shrieks of Phoebe and Sally.

”Leave it, you silly goose!” Phoebe chastised her, and pushed the shoulders of the gown down a bit. She

and Sally stood back to examine her. ”Oh, Ava,” she said, tears in her eyes. ”You're absolutely ravis.h.i.+ng.”

A knock at the door interrupted anything Ava would have said to that, for Mr. Morris had appeared and

said, ”A carriage here for you, mu'um.”

The four women looked at one another, and then suddenly started talking at once, gathering the matching

fur-lined cape and her gloves. When they had at last secured all of her belongings, Ava took a deep breath, smiled brightly at them, and the four of them trooped to the foyer.

On the way down, they pa.s.sed Lord Downey hovering at the door of his study. He frowned as the four

of them went by. ”I have yet to understand why I wasn't extended an invitation!” he shouted after Ava.

They ignored him.

In the foyer, a Middleton footman met Ava, bowing deeply when she appeared, and held the door open

for her.”Where is Lord Middleton?” Ava asked, peering past him, into the night.”He said you were to meet him there, my lady,” the footman said, bowing again.Ava's heart sank. She had hoped to speak with him on the way to the ball, to apologize for her behavior, to tell him she loved him, too. What a horrible mess she'd made of things!”Ah,” she said, forcing a smile for the footman. ”Well, then. I suppose we ought to be about it.””Yes, mu'um,” he said, and strode ahead of her to open the carriage door.Ava lifted the hood of the cape over her head and smiled weakly at Phoebe. ”You promise you'll come as soon as possible?”

Phoebe grabbed her and kissed her cheek. ”As soon as I make a small repair to my gown. Now