Part 10 (1/2)
With a weary sigh, he put the letter into the pocket of his dressing gown and returned to his desk, where another letter sat, awaiting another answer he did not have.
He'd first read it last night when he'd arrived home. But he'd been a little in his cups and had tossed it aside. This morning, however, he scarcely had the heart to pick it up again.
Dearest, the letter began.
Please forgive me! I cannot bear to be without you-I cannot sleep for dreams of you, and each day seems endless without you in it. I was wrong-I know you must do the prudent thing for the sake of your family, but please, I beg of you, do not abandon me for it. I shall wait for you, darling, my every breath a hope for you.
Yours forever, M.
He crumpled the letter and threw it in the fire behind him, then fell back in his chair, his face in his hand.
He was sorry for her, but it didn't sway his thinking-there had never been an understanding between them, particularly not since Miranda had made her feelings known that she valued his t.i.tle above him.
And now he had to face his destiny, but he was like a blind man, stumbling toward it through darkness.
He wasn't ready for matrimony, but it seemed that the holy state of matrimony was ready for him.
Lord G.o.d, what a remarkably mixed-up world he lived in.
He glanced at the gold clock on the mantel. In a few hours, he would be expected at the Prince's Pavilion in Vauxhall Gardens to auction off the accoutrements of the ton, the proceeds of which would go to support the Foundling Hospital. He stood up and walked numbly through his study and up to his suite of rooms to prepare for the day, for this event was, as everything else in his life, his duty.
Rain did not deter the ranks of the Quality, for it would be remarked if one of their member was not inattendance when everyone else had braved the weather to donate to a worthy cause. Jared groanedwhen he saw the throng crowded inside the Prince's Pavilion to avoid the rain instead of the mainpromenade around the orchestra tower, which had been the planners' intent. It was so crowded thatthere was not a breath of air to be had.
Jared paused just inside the entrance, surveying the finely dressed crowd. It was an excellent turnoutgiven the weather, and everyone seemed in fine spirits-no doubt with help from the ale he hadsuggested be made available. He had noted through the years that on average, men tended to be moregenerous with their purses when they'd been drinking.
He entered the room with an easy smile on his face, practiced in dozens upon dozens of such gatherings in his life. He greeted and thanked the patrons who had braved miserable weather to support the Foundling Hospital, and accepted their congratulations on the success of the auction.
As he smiled and laughed and spoke to G.o.d knew who, he wondered if she'd come, or if she'd seen the morning Times and had decided against attending an event with so many who would whisper of a new, t.i.tillating scandal.
He was speaking with Lord Valmont when he saw her-she was at the podium where he would stand to auction the items, wearing pale green muslin that was the very shade of her eyes, embroidered with tiny cherries and tied with a sash just below her bosom. She'd wrapped her hair up in an identical strip of green cloth, but a few golden strands had escaped the wrap and reached her shoulders.
She was marking items, he noted, but she stood alone. While the other women involved in the auction worked together in pairs or groups of three or four, Lady Ava Fairchild worked alone, either by choice or as a result of the scandal that was beginning to brew and swirl around her.
As he spoke with Lord Valmont, she suddenly looked up from her work, her gaze catching his. His smile went a little deeper, and he lifted his chin just slightly, almost indiscernibly, to acknowledge her.
But Lady Ava quickly turned away, first right, then left, and without looking at him again, she hurried off the dais and through a door Jared knew, from previous events at the prince's private pavilion, led to a private receiving room.
He excused himself from Lord Valmont as soon as he could and continued on toward the dais. He could see Lady Elizabeth, off to his left, modestly dressed, holding court with several young women around her. His father also was in attendance, speaking with the Duke of York. And naturally, Harrison and Stanhope, who had both donated far above what he might have hoped, sharing a bit of ale-and, of course, a pair of debutantes.
At the dais, he inquired of Lady Bellingham and Mr. Bean how long it would be before the auction started.
”Oh, my lord, the donations have been so very generous,” Lady Bellingham said, beaming.
”We are still in the process of cataloguing some of the late arrivals,” Mr. Bean said, perfunctory as usual. ”I would estimate another hour is needed.”
”Thank you. Please see to it that there is ale and food for the guests.”
”Of course,” Mr. Bean said with a curt nod of his head.
Jared moved on through the crowd, smiling, greeting, trading small talk, until he reached the door Ava Fairchild had slipped through. With one last look at the crowd to a.s.sure himself no one seemed the wiser, he stepped through it.
He walked down a narrow corridor to the private receiving room, opened the door, and stepped inside. It was dark, save for the light of the gray day that filtered in around the drapes.
There was a burst of loud laughter from a group in the pavilion that caused her to move. He saw her then, standing with her back against the wall, her chest rising with each anxious breath, her golden hair visible in the dim light. Jared quietly closed the door behind him. ”Lady Ava? Are you all right?”
From where he stood he could see her swallow deeply. ”Perfectly fine,” she said softly.
He moved slowly toward her, taking in her lovely face and neck. She anxiously pressed her lips together and looked away from him. She seemed, he thought, to feel trapped. He closed the distance between them and touched his hand to her temple, brus.h.i.+ng a strand of silky hair behind her ear. His hand drifted to her shoulder. ”Where is your sunny smile, Lady Ava? I have missed it these last two days.”
She turned her head to look at him with pale green eyes that were full of an emotion he could not fathom. ”I cannot smile”-she sucked in her breath when he touched his fingers to the smooth ridge of her bare collarbone and continued breathlessly
-”when such wretched things are printed. I may very well be ruined.”
”No,” he said as his gaze slipped to the swell of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He'd always considered her a shapely woman, very appealing in her looks, but he had not, until this very moment, desired her so completely. ” No, not ruined.”
She gave him a skeptical look, at which Jared smiled, and she visibly s.h.i.+vered. He was not the only one affected by the close proximity of their bodies in a darkened room.
His gaze fell to her lips as he caressed her collarbone and her neck with the back of his hand, enjoying the warmth of velvet-soft skin, detecting the scent of rose petal soap. He caressed her as if he possessed her, which, for all intents and purposes, he did in that moment.
”You cannot be ruined if I am an honest man. And, madam, I am nothing if not an honest man.”
Her pulse leapt beneath his hand; she lifted her face, eyeing him intently, her eyes glimmering in the dim light. ”What do you mean?”
Her husky voice and her glimmering eyes were all working on the man in him. He leaned down so that his lips were just a moment from her temple. ”Ssh...this is a delectable moment and I would not lose it to words.” And then he kissed her temple, so lightly, so breathlessly that she s.h.i.+vered again, only more violently than before. His hand fell to her shoulder to steady her; the other he slipped around her waist, pulling her into his body as he slid his mouth across her cheek to her lips. She moved slightly, angling her head toward him, and Jared nipped at her plump lips.
But when he slipped his tongue into her mouth, a harder, more powerful desire began to possess him. He wanted her. He hadn't felt a woman in his arms like this-not like this, not like he felt her in his arms- and he wanted to touch all of her body, to smell it, taste it, feel it. She was pulsing beneath his hands, her body coming alive, responding to his touch. He slid his lips to her chin, then to the hollow of her throat, sliding down farther, to her bosom, his hand on her hip, kneading the soft flesh, the other finding her breast.
When he squeezed the flesh of her breast, she gasped with pleasure above him, and it stoked him like the flames of a fire.
Jared rose up again, covered her open mouth with his, her breast with his hand. He tangled the fingers of his other hand in her hair, pulling her head back and lifting her face to him.
He held her so tightly to him that he could feel the pounding of her heart against his body and the palm of his hand. It was an exquisite sensation, building a fever inside him and spreading like liquid fire to his limbs. He groaned with desire, pressing his body tightly against her, and Ava curved into him. He dipped his hand into the bodice of her gown and filled his palm with her bare breast. She gasped again, and her head fell back against the wall behind her, but he hardly noticed, for he had freed her breast from the confines of the gown and dipped his head to it, taking it eagerly into his mouth.
Ava grabbed his head, her fingers raking through his hair as he devoured her breast. Her hands fluttered to his shoulders and down his arms, gripping him as her body rose up to meet his mouth, pressing into him for more. He let go of her breast and raised his mouth to hers as his hand swept down her side, around to her hip, squeezing her, then down her leg, and around to the apex of her legs at the same moment a roar of laughter, followed by a collective shriek, went up outside.
The noise seemed to waken her from his attention to her, and she dragged her mouth from his, choking and pus.h.i.+ng him away from her. ”This is madness!” she cried. ”I am on the precipice of ruin and I am throwing myself into the abyss of it by being here with you now!”