Part 88 (1/2)

”The doctor picked himself out of the mire, and, with a volley of expletives 'too numerous to mention,' clambered on to his beast, and trotted on, _dash, dash, das.h.!.+_ as though nothing had happened.”

[Ill.u.s.tration: DR. CANDEE.]

The dress of the modern physician is a plain black suit, throughout, with immaculate linen, and possibly a white cravat.

Occasionally one will ”crop out” in some oddity of dress, but usually as a medium for advertising his business. With the better portion of the community, such monstrosities do not pa.s.s as indications of intelligence in the exhibitor.

This engraving represents Dr. Candee, a western magnetic doctor. He was formerly from the ”nutmeg state,” and is a fair specimen of the travelling doctors who secure custom from their oddities and eccentricities of dress.

XXVII.

MEDICAL FACTS AND STATISTICS.

HOW MANY.--WHO THEY ARE.--HOW THEY DIE.--HOW MUCH RUM THEY CONSUME.--HOW THEY LIVE.--OLD AGE.--WHY WE DIE.--GET MARRIED.--OLD PEOPLE'S WEDDING.--A GOOD ONE.--THE ORIGIN OF THE HONEYMOON.--A SWEET OBLIVION.--HOLD YOUR TONGUE!--MANY MEN, MANY MINDS.--”ALLOPATHY.”--LOTS OF DOCTORS.--THE ITCH MITE.--A HORSE CAR RIDE.--KEEP COOL!--KNICKKNACKS.--HUMBLE PIE.--INCREASE OF INSANITY.--A COOL STUDENT.--HOW TO GET RID OF A MOTHER-IN-LAW.

THE POPULATION.

There are on the earth about one billion of inhabitants.

They speak four thousand and sixty-four languages.

Only one person in a thousand reaches his allotted years,--threescore and ten.

Between the ages of sixteen and forty-five, there are more females than males.

Lawyers live the longest, doctors next, ministers least of the three professions.

There are more insane among farmers than of any other laborers.

Caucasians live longer than Malays, Hindoos, Chinese, or Negroes.

Light-skinned, dark-haired persons with dark or blue eyes live the longest.

Red or florid complexioned, gray or hazel eyes, shortest.

One half of the people die before the age of seventeen; one fourth before seven.

About 91,824 die each day; one every second.

The married live longer than the single.

Tall men live longer than short ones. (No pun.)

Short women live longer than tall ones.

Three quarters of the adults are married.