Part 55 (1/2)

Where is the other man, or cla.s.s of men, who would have returned the money, honestly earned, as agreed upon beforehand, unasked?

GENEROUS AT ANOTHER'S EXPENSE.

It is all very nice when one can exercise a benevolent spirit, and not draw upon his own pocket.

A well-authenticated story is repeated in this line of Dr. M. Monsey.

Pa.s.sing through a market one day, he noticed a miserable old woman looking wistfully at a piece of meat hanging just within a stall.

”What is the price of this meat, sir?” she timidly inquired.

”A penny a pound, old woman,” replied the butcher, sneeringly, disdaining a civil answer to the wretched-looking woman, who probably had not a penny to pay for the chop.

”Just weigh that piece of meat, my friend,” said the doctor, who had been attentively watching the proceedings.

The butcher cheerfully complied with the request of so respectable-looking a customer.

”Ten pounds and a half, sir,” replied the butcher.

”There, my good woman,” said the doctor, ”hold up your ap.r.o.n;” and he dumped the whole into it, saying, ”Now make haste home and cook it for your family.”

After blessing the very eccentric but benevolent old man over and again for the timely provision, she drew up the corners of the ap.r.o.n, and ran speedily down the market.

”Here, my man,” said the doctor, turning to the smiling butcher, ”here is ten pence ha'penny, the price of your meat.”

”What? What do you mean?” asked the butcher.

”I mean, sir, that I take you at your word. You said the meat was a penny a pound. At that price I bought it for the poor old woman. It's all I'll pay you. Good morning, sir.”

[Ill.u.s.tration: THE ASTONISHED BUTCHER.]

I can imagine the ”chop-fallen” butcher, standing, in his long frock, with a _beaten_ expression of countenance, alternating his gaze between the pence in his palm and the retreating form of the wigged and laughing old doctor.

A REPORT ON TEETH.

Many stories are told of the eccentricities of Dr. Monsey, and

”No man could better gild a pill, Or make a bill, Or mix a draught, or bleed, or blister, Or draw a tooth out of your head, Or chatter scandal by your bed, Or tell a twister.”

Amongst the vagaries of Dr. Monsey, says Mr. Jeaffreson, was the way in which he proceeded to extract his decaying teeth. Around the tooth sentenced to be uprooted he fastened securely a strong piece of cord, or violin string, to the other end of which he attached a bullet. He then proceeded to load a pistol with powder and the bullet. By merely pulling the trigger of the pistol, the operation was speedily and effectually performed.

It was seldom, however, that the doctor could induce his patients to adopt this original mode of extracting undesirable achers.

One gentleman, who had agreed to try this novel process upon a tooth, got so far as to allow the whole apparatus to be adjusted, when, at the very last instant, he exclaimed,--

”Stop, stop! I have changed my mind--”

”I haven't, though; and you're a fool and a coward, and here's go,” which saying, the doctor pulled the trigger.