Part 12 (1/2)
When confined to his bed in his last sickness, Garrick had the advice of several of the best physicians, summoned to his villa near Hampton, and Monsey, in bad taste and worse temper, wrote a satire on the occurrence.
He accused the actor of parsimony, among other mean qualities, and though, after the death of Garrick, January 22, 1779, he destroyed the verses, some portions of them got into print, of which the following is a sample:--
”Seven wise doctors lately met To save a wretched sinner.
'Come, Tom,' said Jack, 'pray let's be quick, Or we shall lose _our_ dinner.'
”Some roared for rhubarb, jalap some, And others cried for Dover;[3]
'Let's give him something,' each one said, 'And then let's give him over.'”
At last, after much learned wrangling, one more learned than the others proposed to arouse the energies of the dying man by jingling a purse of gold in his ear. This suggestion was acted upon, and
”Soon as the favorite sound he heard, One faint effort he tried; He oped his eyes, he scratched his head, He gave one grasp--and died.”
Riding on horseback through Hyde Park, Monsey was accompanied by a Mr.
Robinson, a Trinitarian preacher, who knew that the doctor's religion was of the Unitarian stamp. After deploring, in solemn tones, the corrupt state of morals, etc., the minister turned to Monsey, and said,--
”And, doctor, I am addressing one who believes there is no G.o.d.”
”And I,” replied Monsey, ”one who believes there are _three_.”
[Ill.u.s.tration: HEALING THE SICK WITH A GOLDEN DOSE.]
The good man, greatly shocked, put spurs to his horse, and, without vouchsafing a ”good day,” rode away at a high gallop.
PEDAGOGUES TURNED OUT AS DOCTORS.
Some of the hundreds of respectable medical pract.i.tioners of this democratic country, who, between commencement and the following term, used to lengthen out their scanty means by ”teaching the young idea how to shoot” in some far-off country village, will scarcely thank me for introducing the above-named subject to their present notice. However, it will depend somewhat upon the way they take it; whether, like Sir Davy, they are ashamed of their ”small beginnings,” or, like Dr. Monsey, they may independently snap their fingers in the face of their plebeian origin, and boast of their earlier common efforts for a better foothold among the great men of their generation.
Among English physicians, with whom it was, and still is, counted a disgrace to have been previously known in a more humble calling, we may find a long list of ”doctors pedagogic,” beginning with Dr. John Bond, who taught school until the age of forty, when he turned doctor. He was a man of great learning, however, and became a successful physician. Even among the good people of Taunton, where he had resided and labored as a pedagogue in former years, he was esteemed as a ”wise physician.”
John Arbuthnot was a ”Scotch pedagogue.” He was distinguished as a man of letters and of wit; the a.s.sociate of Pope and Swift, and of Bolingbroke; a companion at the court of Queen Anne.
Arbuthnot owed his social elevation to his quick wit, rare conversational powers, and fascinating address, rather than to his family influence, professional knowledge, or medical success.
”Dorchester, where, as a young pract.i.tioner, he endeavored to establish himself, utterly refused to give him a living; but it doubtless,” says Jeaffreson, ”maintained more than one dull empiric in opulence. Failing to get a living among the rustic boors, who could appreciate no effort of the human voice but a fox-hunter's whoop, Arbuthnot packed up and went to London.”
Poverty for a while haunted his door in London, and to keep the wolf away he was compelled to resort to ”the most hateful of all occupations--the personal instruction of the ignorant.”
Arbuthnot was a brilliant writer as well as fluent talker, and by his literary hit, ”Examination of Dr. Woodward's Account of the Deluge,” he was soon brought into notice. By the merest accident and the greatest fortune he was called to Prince George of Denmark, when his royal highness was suddenly taken sick, and, as all who fell within the circle of his magical private acquaintance were led to respect and love him, the doctor was retained in the good graces of the prince. On the death of Dr. Hannes, Arbuthnot received the appointment of physician-in-ordinary to the queen.
The polished manner of the fortunate doctor, his handsome person, and flattering, cordial seeming address, especially to ladies, made him a court favorite. To retain the good graces of his royal patient, the queen, ”he adopted a tone of affection for her as an individual, as well as a loyal devotion to her as a queen.” His conversation, while it had the semblance of the utmost frankness, was foaming over with flattery.
”If the queen won't swallow my pills she will my flattery,” he is said to have whispered to his friend Swift; but this report is doubtful, as he stood in fear of the displeasure of the querulous, crotchety, weak-minded queen, who had but recently discharged Dr. Radcliffe for a slip of the tongue, when at the coffee-house he had said she had the ”_vapors_.”
”What is the hour?” asked the queen of Arbuthnot.
”Whatever hour it may please your majesty,” was his characteristic reply, with his most winning smile and graceful obeisance.