Part 9 (1/2)

So G.o.d put Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden. He sent an angel with a flaming sword to do the job. And so it was that first man and first woman met first eviction officer. Adam and Eve took one long last look at the place that was home and then walked away. They'd live in a lot of places after that, but none of them would be home.

It was only when they were out of Eden that Adam noticed that Eve didn't have any clothes on.

”Holy cow!” Adam cried, staring at Eve. ”You're stark naked!”

”So are you,” Eve said.

They stared all they wanted to at each other's private parts. And then they burst out laughing. And so s.e.xual humor was born.

When they had finished laughing at each other's private parts, Adam said, ”I think maybe we'd better cover up the hardware. We've got too much hanging out, if you know what I mean.”

”Funny we never noticed it before,” Eve said.

”All you ever used to notice was birds,” Adam said.

”I can't imagine why,” Eve said.

”What's that up there ahead?” Adam asked.

Eve said slowly, ”If I didn't know it was impossible I'd say it was other people.”

”How can that be?” Adam said. ”We're the only people.”

”Not anymore,” Eve told him. ”You remember, we talked about this possibility.”

”Of course,” Adam said. ”I remember now. We agreed that other people was a prerequisite to having an affair.”

”You would remember that,” Eve said.

”I just never thought He'd actually do it,” Adam said. ”I always thought He meant for us to be the only people.”

G.o.d had moved fast. At the beginning they had been the only people. But they'd done something wrong. Disobeyed orders. And so G.o.d punished them by making other people. It ”was hard to know what He meant by it.

They walked until they came to a town, until they came to a certain house.

Adam asked the first person he saw, ”What is the name of this town?”

”This,” the man said, ”is Next Best.”

”That's an interesting name for a town,” Adam said. ”What does it mean?”

”It means that Eden's best, but no one can get back there, so we live in Next Best.”

”How do you know about Eden?” Adam asked. ”I never saw you there.”

”Hey, you don't have to have actually lived there to know it was good.”

Adam and Eve settled down in Next Best. They soon met their next-door neighbor, Gordon Lucifer, a devil who had set up the first law practice in town.

”We think we need a lawyer,” Adam said to Lucifer one day. ”We think we were unfairly expelled from .Eden.