29 Chapter 26 - Pinutukan sa Loob (1/2)
”He didn't tell you?” pagtaas ng kilay ni Mecky, she looked surprised. I was speechless. I thought it must be another stupid rumor, but this bohemian/country girl seemed to know what she was talking about.
”Tell me what?”
She was taken aback, seemingly unsure if she'll talk or not. ”I don't.. I don't think I should tell you.”
”Mecky..”
”It's your thing.”
”My thing? What's my thing?”
”You and him. I mean sure, you tell me your secret. And I like I said, wala akong pagsasabahin. I'm not one to reveal anyone's secret.”
”Like his secret?
”You're with him, ask him.”
”So you'll just keep it from me na lang, whatever it is you know?”
”No! I mean, well, tsk. I learned something about him.”
Ramdam ko ang init sa katawan ko dahil sa beer, pero tila may iba pang init sabay sa kaba dahil sa maari kong matuklasan sa sasabihin ni Mecky. I have long felt that there was so much more about Teacher Kim that I know nothing about. We've talked about our lives on several occassions, but when he does, I feel like there were missing parts.
”What is it?” pilit ko. Batid kong alangan talaga si Mecky ikwento, ”please?”
”Well, I learned that he fathered a few children with.. different girls back home. That, his recent return to UK was about, something, like one of his children's mother died, so the kid was parentless, and had no one else, or something. And did you know he was married?”
It completely blew my mind, I thought this can't be real. It didn't seem like Teacher Kim, it can't be. ”Yea, that he was married. How.. how did you know that?”
”Err, well, don't ask, I don't think I can ever tell. But.. it's, uhm, I trust it. It wouldn't make sense to be a lie, or - and, it's not a rumor. I learned it from someone who knows.”
”Wow. Just, wow.”
Pakiramdam ko puro hangin yung laman ng tyan ko, pati utak ko puro hangin na rin. Gusto kong humiga, hindi ako makapaniwala. Inubos ko ang higit pa sa kalahating laman ng beer sa isang inuman.
”What the fuck?” 'di ko napigilang sambit.
Biglang napalingon si Mecky. ”Wow. That's, wow. Since when ka pa nagmura?”
”Few children from different girls?!”
Umangat lang ang balikat ni Mecky, at ngumiwi ang ekspresyon niya.
”That's.. that's, fucked!” pagasim ng ekspresyon ko.
”You should talk to him. Kung seryoso na talaga kayo, you should know the truth.”
”Fuck me! the -- ”
”Owkey! Whoever this is. So, nagmumura ka pala kapag nakainom. Tubig na lang tayo. Ok? Nakakadalawang bote ka pa lang ah, lasing ka na? It's just beer.”
Lumipat kami sa malapit na table booth. Tinawag ni Mecky si Beks to order some food, non-alcoholic drinks, at tubig na may madaming-madaming yelo.
Mecky told me few more things of what she learned about Teacher Kim. Nanikip ang dibdib ko, mas marami pa siyang alam kaysa sa'kin. Parang gusto kong tusukin ang mga mata ng sinungaling kong boyfriend at tusukin ng maraming karayum ang ari niya.
Nahimasmasan rin ako kalaunan ng nakakain ako. Sa restaurant na ako sinundo ni kuya Jael who was incognizant that I was a bit tipsy.
❧ ❧ ❧
The rest of the weekend, I ignored Teacher Kim's calls and text messages. He got pissed that I didn't see him in the dungeon last Friday since of course, I found out he lied. But then, he later apologized for getting pissed and begged that I answer his calls.
I was grumpy and moody at home. Akala nila kuya it was that time of the month again, they have no sense at all of how it really works. Kapag nagsusungit ako ng walang dahilan, umiiwas na lang sila at dinadalhan ako ng mga paborito kong pagkain sa kwarto. Sometimes, I would intentionally do it on several weekends, so they thought I had a period every weekend on some months, and they would stock ice cream and chocolates in the fridge. Stupid, but funny.
Come Monday, it was a school holiday but only for our campus. It was Principal Moon's birthday. I don't know how he gets away with it, but he has made it official since he started as a Principal na tuwing birthday niya, walang pasok. Treat na raw niya 'yon sa mga estudyante to have it as a day off.
It was another rainy day. The sky wasn't all that dark, but it has been raining almost non-stop since morning. It wasn't a heavy rain, neither was there a storm. But it was enough to get me drenched if I come out, and also enough to give me the feels ng pagka-emo.
The big box of pizza and a bucket of jollibee chickenjoy that kuya Jako and kuya Jael brought me made the day beautifully sad. With all the confusion going on inside my head, there I was feasting on all the calories I could indulge.
I was about to open my laptop for netflix nang sunod-sunod na tumunog ang cellphone ko. I saw text notifications on my home screen from Teacher Kim:
Text#1 - I'm outside, see your window;
Text#2 - You are driving me crazy;
Text#3 - I'm sorry love, please see me;
Text#4 - Why don't you answer my calls???;
Text#5 - If I did something wrong, I apologise;
Text#6 - What the fuck is wrong?!;
Text#7 - You can't just ignore me, you have to tell me;
Text#8 - Come out, will go to my place. Let's talk;
Text#9 - I love you, love. You know that right?;
Text#10 - I will not leave until you're with me. I'll wait until I die. Are you gonna let me die here? You don't love me anymore? Come out Ce...
Oh, what a drama queen!
I unlocked my phone and hit call on his number. I looked at the window and saw him inside his car, in a hoodie.
”Hello, love. I'm -- ”
”I never thought you could be such a drama queen.”
”Well, I have quite a bit of that royal blood in me.”
”No, shit.”
I had one look in his smile and I melted. Buong sabado at linggo kong hindi pinansin ang mga text at tawag niya pero sa loob-loob ko, parang madiing tinatapakan ang puso ko, at paa ko pa ang nakatapak.
”Come with me, love. I don't know what I did wrong, but I apologise for it, whatever it is. Just don't be mad at me, please?”
Naginit naman ang dibdib ko sa lambing ng boses niya.
Shit! I am so inlove with him.
”Well, I am really really mad. I am so mad at you!” Not a word that I meant. Nanigas lang ang panga ko.
”I know.. I love you.”
Nanlambot na naman ang mga tuhod ko, pero aktong masungit pa rin. ”Really? Why should I believe you?”
Nangasim ang mukha ni Teacher Kim. ”What are y -- what are you saying? Wha-what's up with you, Cece? What is wrong? What have I done? Tell me.”
”I'll see you tomorrow -- ”
”We-www-wait! No! Come out now, or I'll come and get you.”
”You won't.”
”Oh, don't test me, Cece. I told you, I'll do anything for you.”
Kinabahan ako bigla ng bumukas ang pinto niya at lumabas siya. Tumayo siya sa labas ng nakabukas niyang pinto, unti-unting nababasa sa ulan while staring at me intently with all the seriousness in his face, his hand and his phone still on his ear.
He raised his brows, like he was daring me. I conceded and shook my head. ”I'm coming. Get back inside the car.”
I realised, I have a love and hate feeling when I surrender to his commands. I don't know why pero parang napakadali lang sa'kin na sumunod agad sa kaniya. But I also have this part of me that wants to defy him, to do the complete opposite of his expectations of me.
Hindi naman naging mahirap ang pagpapaalam ko sa mga kuya ko. I told them, I'm going to Mecky's place. I know they trust Mecky at puro aral lang naman kami, so hindi na sila matanong pa. I also told them, I have a grab car to pick me up, which of course, was Teacher Kim.
Tensyonado ang buong drive namin papunta sa penthouse ng basang boyfriend ko. I could just sense him, like he wanted to ravage me and eat me alive. But I kept my maldita drama. Not a sound did I let out from me. The air in the car was pure cold and empty.
I've never been like this. Paminsang naiisip ko, habang nakadungaw sa maulang kalsadang dinadaanan namin, kailan nga ba ako nagbago ng ganito - yung magsungit, magtaray, magmatigas.
I sighed pagkadating namin sa parking lot ng condo niya. I knew what was going to happen, we're just gonna have sex and he's going to dodge any signs of deeper, serious conversations.
”I can open my door,” pataray kong sambit.
”Ok. Let's get to the lift then, quick,” he answered in a defensive tone.
Nauna akong maglakad papunta sa rows of elevators. Pinindot ko ang button paakyat ng isa sa mga pinto nito, pero sumunod pumindot naman si Teacher Kim sa isa pang pinto na siyang lagi namin sinasakyan. Saka ko lang napagtanto na may sarili palang elevator ang penthouse niya from the parking lot.
He inhaled deep when we got in to the elevator. ”Please talk. You're killing me.”
”I don't know what to say yet.”
”Just.. tell me you love me.”
I laughed sly. ”How convenient.”
”Christ, Cece! What's the matter with you?”
Napaisip ako bigla, I glanced at him, narrowing my eyes. ”You have never been ignored, haven't you? You're used to girls that just willingly surrender themselves at you. That is why you are so pissed.”
His jaw clenched, he looked even more pissed and uncomfortable. I laughed sly again, and shook my head.
”I am not one to read a girl's behaviour. Either you tell me or you don't. I was never interested with all the mystery that all woman try to fake. Not, until you, of course. You drive me crazy.”
”You read me when I was drooling over you. Now, you don't that I'm angry. You like girls when they are obsessed with you, but when they confuse you, you turn into a drama queen. It is likely you just ignored all of the girls when they start to confuse you, and like, left them, shut them out. And -- ”
”I'm going to fuck you so hard, and fucking deep, Cece, you're gonna cry. Call me a drama queen again and you'll see the result of what you're doing to me.”
”Ah, the dirty talk. Of course, always works right?”
I glanced at him again with my one brow raised, then I stepped out of the elevator. He followed, but in shrieking swiftness, he pulled my waist to him with one arm. With such fluid briskness, but with a bit of tenderness, I was turned and pushed against the elevator wall.
I was caught of-guard, breathing heavily. I swallowed at the intensity of our position. With his one arm leaned against the wall, his other hand was on my waist, I was trapped in his powerful might and imprisoned in his intoxicating scent. Saka ko lang napagtanto ulit, he was still wet from the rain, and weirdly enough, wearing a hoodie.
”You, my little one, let's get one thing straight. If you drive me crazy, I will fuck you like crazy and you are going to scream so hard. But drive me even crazier, and you'll wish massively bad that you didn't.”
”Are you threatening me now?”
”No, my love. I'm just telling you. Now a threat is, if you don't tell me what's wrong now, I am going to fuck you wild without mercy, you won't be able to walk for a week.”
I don't know where I was getting the nerve to stay undefeated; I raised my brows, shook my head and pushed him.