Part 22 (1/2)

A Tramp Abroad Mark Twain 44510K 2022-07-22

”Well, on the 29th of August he sold his colored coachman--said he didn't need a coachman for a sulky--wouldn't be room enough for two in it anyway--and, besides, it wasn't every day that Providence sent a man a fool who was willing to pay nine hundred dollars for such a third-rate negro as that--been wanting to get rid of the creature for years, but didn't like to _throw_ him away.

”Eighteen months later--that is to say, on the 15th of February, 1837--he sold the sulky and bought a saddle--said horseback-riding was what the doctor had always recommended _him_ to take, and dog'd if he wanted to risk _his_ neck going over those mountain roads on wheels in the dead of winter, not if he knew himself.

”On the 9th of April he sold the saddle--said he wasn't going to risk _his_ life with any perishable saddle-girth that ever was made, over a rainy, miry April road, while he could ride bareback and know and feel he was safe--always _had_ despised to ride on a saddle, anyway.

”On the 24th of April he sold his horse--said 'I'm just fifty-seven today, hale and hearty--it would be a _pretty_ howdy-do for me to be wasting such a trip as that and such weather as this, on a horse, when there ain't anything in the world so splendid as a tramp on foot through the fresh spring woods and over the cheery mountains, to a man that _is_ a man--and I can make my dog carry my claim in a little bundle, anyway, when it's collected. So tomorrow I'll be up bright and early, make my little old collection, and mosey off to Tennessee, on my own hind legs, with a rousing good-by to Gadsby's.'

”On the 22d of June he sold his dog--said 'Dern a dog, anyway, where you're just starting off on a rattling bully pleasure tramp through the summer woods and hills--perfect nuisance--chases the squirrels, barks at everything, goes a-capering and splattering around in the fords--man can't get any chance to reflect and enjoy nature--and I'd a blamed sight ruther carry the claim myself, it's a mighty sight safer; a dog's mighty uncertain in a financial way--always noticed it--well, _good_-by, boys--last call--I'm off for Tennessee with a good leg and a gay heart, early in the morning.'”

There was a pause and a silence--except the noise of the wind and the pelting snow. Mr. Lykins said, impatiently:

”Well?”

Riley said:

”Well,--that was thirty years ago.”

”Very well, very well--what of it?”

”I'm great friends with that old patriarch. He comes every evening to tell me good-by. I saw him an hour ago--he's off for Tennessee early tomorrow morning--as usual; said he calculated to get his claim through and be off before night-owls like me have turned out of bed. The tears were in his eyes, he was so glad he was going to see his old Tennessee and his friends once more.”

Another silent pause. The stranger broke it:

”Is that all?”

”That is all.”

”Well, for the _time_ of night, and the _kind_ of night, it seems to me the story was full long enough. But what's it all _for_?”

”Oh, nothing in particular.”

”Well, where's the point of it?”

”Oh, there isn't any particular point to it. Only, if you are not in _too_ much of a hurry to rush off to San Francisco with that post-office appointment, Mr. Lykins, I'd advise you to '_Put Up At Gadsby's_' for a spell, and take it easy. Good-by. _G.o.d_ bless you!”

So saying, Riley blandly turned on his heel and left the astonished school-teacher standing there, a musing and motionless snow image s.h.i.+ning in the broad glow of the street-lamp.

He never got that post-office.

To go back to Lucerne and its fishers, I concluded, after about nine hours' waiting, that the man who proposes to tarry till he sees something hook one of those well-fed and experienced fishes will find it wisdom to ”put up at Gadsby's” and take it easy. It is likely that a fish has not been caught on that lake pier for forty years; but no matter, the patient fisher watches his cork there all the day long, just the same, and seems to enjoy it. One may see the fisher-loafers just as thick and contented and happy and patient all along the Seine at Paris, but tradition says that the only thing ever caught there in modern times is a thing they don't fish for at all--the recent dog and the translated cat.

CHAPTER XXVII

[I Spare an Awful Bore]

Close by the Lion of Lucerne is what they call the ”Glacier Garden”--and it is the only one in the world. It is on high ground. Four or five years ago, some workmen who were digging foundations for a house came upon this interesting relic of a long-departed age. Scientific men perceived in it a confirmation of their theories concerning the glacial period; so through their persuasions the little tract of ground was bought and permanently protected against being built upon. The soil was removed, and there lay the rasped and guttered track which the ancient glacier had made as it moved along upon its slow and tedious journey.

This track was perforated by huge pot-shaped holes in the bed-rock, formed by the furious was.h.i.+ng-around in them of boulders by the turbulent torrent which flows beneath all glaciers. These huge round boulders still remain in the holes; they and the walls of the holes are worn smooth by the long-continued chafing which they gave each other in those old days.

It took a mighty force to churn these big lumps of stone around in that vigorous way. The neighboring country had a very different shape, at that time--the valleys have risen up and become hills, since, and the hills have become valleys. The boulders discovered in the pots had traveled a great distance, for there is no rock like them nearer than the distant Rhone Glacier.