Chapter 44: There’s something on your face (2/2)

“There’s something…..” Suyang licked his finger and began to wipe his saliva on my face, “on your face.”

“Huh!?” I grabbed Suyang’s wrist and made an excuse, “Your saliva...is so filthy!”

“Filthy? There’s something sticking on your face, I’m helping you remove it!”

“No need! No thanks!” I rolled off the couch and ran to the washroom to see what was on my face. I touched the faint red bloodstain on my cheek. It was Xiao Xin’s blood.

I stood in front of the mirror for a very long time as I fixedly stared at the bloodstain like I was watching a whirlpool. My eyes continued to enlarge. What type of world was this poor child living in? I had no idea.

While I was deep in thought, Suyang had leaned against the washroom door. His presence brought me back to reality. “Why haven’t you wiped it off? I seriously don’t know what you’re doing on a daily basis…” It sounded like he was complaining and investigating at the same time. Suyang was waiting for an explanation.

“This blood belongs to a eight or nine year old child. Today, he was on the swings underneath a tree.”

As I spoke, my voice began to tremble more and more. It was as if there was something stuck inside my heart and throat. I felt overwhelmed. “This is his blood. He collapsed in front of me without any prior warning….” I whispered.

“Stop thinking about it. If you keep imagining the scene before you, it will constantly repeat in your mind. You will experience the same intense emotions again and again. You may be grieving. Or perhaps it's pity or sympathy.”

“I don’t know… my heart just feels very numb. It’s hard to breathe.” I pulled a tissue out and wiped the bloodstain off my face. I weakly turned to Suyang. “I’m tired. I’m going to return to my room and lay down.”

I wasn’t sure when my eyes had turned watery, but Suyang had become a very blurry image. I could still vaguely see his nod though.

I shoved my head into the pillow as I thought to myself, If I’m already suffering to this degree, how much the fake Xu Weishan is going through?

I didn’t even have the strength to pull up the curtains. My eyelids grew heavier and heavier.

*dong dong*. I was awaken by sounds of knocking. Sure enough, Suyang wouldn't be Suyang if he'd allow me to have a good rest.

“Enter.” I simply responded with one word. I didn’t bother to turn my head as I waited for him to speak. But I only heard his light footsteps. It sounded like he had placed something on my bedside cabinet, then exited the room.

By the time I turned around, Suyang was nowhere to be seen. On my cabinet was the book that Suyang had wanted me to buy for him today. What were his intentions? I reached over and grabbed the book. I disassembled the packaging and opened the it. As I lay down, I turned to the first page. There was a preface:

Emotion is what gives life meaning. There are two types of massacres: one is to satisfy the self-ego, while the latter is due to the desire for others’ emotions.

Deep down, thanks to emotions, all of us possess the seed of destruction.

All of us have a measuring cup inside of us. No one knows its marked scale until the negativity has exceeded its load.

Since every single human possess emotions, there isn’t an absolute good or bad person. No one has the qualifications to judge a person based on their characteristics. Who created the labels? What’s the boundary to a good and bad person?