Part 66 (2/2)
”Well, let it be so!” exclaimed Vaudrey. ”Go! But if it is a stranger who leaves me, I will accept nothing from her. Here is the authority.
Will you take it back?”
”I? No, I will not take it back! If you desire me to be worthy of the name that you have given me, keep it honored, at least, in the sight of the world, since to betray a woman, to mock and insult her, is not dishonoring. I alone have the right to save you from shame. Do not deny me the privilege that I claim. I do not desire that the man who has been my husband should descend to the questionable intrigues of a Molina.
You have outraged me enough, do not impose this last insult on me!”
”For the last time, adieu!”
She went out, and he allowed her to disappear, overwhelmed by this living mourning of a faith. She fled and he allowed her to descend the stairway, followed by her femme de chambre. She entered the carriage that was waiting for her below, in Rue Chaussee-d'Antin, but he had not the courage, hopeless as he was, to follow the carriage whose rumbling he heard above the noise of the street as it rolled away more quickly and more heavily than the others, and it seemed to him that its wheels had crushed his bosom.
”Ah! what a wretch I have been!” he said as he struck his knee with his closed fist. ”How unhappy I am! Adrienne!”
He rose abruptly, as if moved by a spring, and bounded toward a window which he threw wide open to admit the cold wind of this November evening, and tried to distinguish among the many carriages that rolled through the brownish mud, with their lighted lamps s.h.i.+ning like so many eyes, to discover, to imagine the carriage that was bearing Adrienne away. He believed that he recognized it in a vehicle that was threading its way, loaded with trunks, almost out of sight yonder.
He leaned upon the window-sill, and like a s.h.i.+pwrecked sailor who sees a receding s.h.i.+p, he called out, with a loud cry lost in the tempest of that bustling and busy street:
”Adrienne! Adrienne!”
No reply! The carriage had disappeared in the distance, in the fog.
For a moment, Sulpice remained there crushed but drawn by the noise of the street, as if by some whirlpool in the deep sea. Had he been thrown out and been dashed upon the pavements, he would have been happy. Only a void seemed about him, and before him that black hollow in which moved confusedly only strangers who in no way formed part of his life.
This isolation terrified him. At last, he went downstairs in haste, threw himself into a carriage and had himself driven to the railway, intending to see Adrienne again.
”Quickly! quickly! at your best speed!”
The driver whipped up his horses and the carriage-windows clattered with the noise of old iron.
Vaudrey arrived too late. The train had left twenty minutes before. He had reflected too long at his window.
”Besides,” he said to himself sadly, ”she would not have forgiven me!
She will never forget!”
Buried in the corner of the coach that took her away, and closing her eyes, recalling all her past life, so cruelly ironical to-day, Adrienne, disturbed by the noise and rolling of the train that increased her feverish condition, felt her heart swell, and poor, broken creature that she was, called all her strength to her aid to refrain from weeping, from crying out in her grief. She was taking away, back to the country, the half-withered Christmas roses received from Gren.o.ble, and in the morbid confusion of the ideas that clashed in her poor brain, she saw once more Lissac's blanched face and heard Guy tell her again: ”It is because you are a virtuous woman that I love you!”
”A virtuous woman! Does he know how to love as well as the others?” she murmured, as she thought of Vaudrey whom she would never see again, and whom she no longer loved.
”See! I am a widow now, and a widow who will never love anyone, and who will never marry again.”
VIII
Alone in Paris now, a body without a soul, distracted, and the prey of ennui, with sad and bitter regret for his wasted life, repeating to himself that Adrienne, far away from him, would never forgive, and was doubtless, at this moment, saying and saying again to herself in her solitude at Gren.o.ble, that these politicians, at least, owed her divorce, Vaudrey, not knowing what to do after a weary day of troubled rest, mechanically entered the Opera House to distract his eyes if not his mind.
They were rendering _Aida_ that evening, and a debutante had been announced as a star.
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