Part 51 (1/2)

_ON DRUNKEN COURAGE._

Who only in his cups will fight is like A clock that must be oil'd well ere it strikes.

THOMAS BANCROFT (_circa_ 1600).

Talking to ---- is like playing long whist.

LADY ASHBURTON, _apud_ LORD HOUGHTON.

_CERBERUS._

My dog, who picks up everything one teaches, Has got ”three heads,” like Mr. Gladstone's speeches, But, as might naturally be expected, His are considerably more connected.

H. J. BYRON, in _English Epigrams_.

Blessed be the word ”nice”!--it is the copper coin of commendation. Without it, we should have to praise more handsomely.

CHARLES BUXTON, _Notes of Thought_.

_ON NEWGATE WINDOWS._

All Newgate windows bay windows they be; All lookers out there stand at bay we see.

JOHN HEYWOOD (1506-1565).

It was a grand scene, Mr. Artemus Ward standing on the platform; many of the audience sleeping tranquilly in their seats; others leaving the room and not returning; others crying like a child at some of the jokes,--all, all formed a most impressive scene, and showed the powers of this remarkable orator. And when he announced that he should never lecture in that town again, the applause was absolutely deafening.

C. F. BROWNE, _Artemus Ward's Lecture_.

_THE REASONS FOR DRINKING._

If all be true that I do think, There are five reasons we should drink: Good wine; a friend; or being dry; Or lest we should be by-and-by; Or any other reason why.

HENRY ALDRICH.

[Barham] having expressed himself in terms of abhorrence of a piece of baseness and treachery which came under his notice, he was addressed by the delinquent with--”Well, sir, perhaps some day you may come to change your opinion of me!” ”Perhaps I may, sir,” was the reply; ”for if I should find any one who holds a more contemptible opinion of you than I do myself, I should lay down my own and take up his.”

R. H. D. BARHAM, _Life of Barham_.

_FALSE LOVE'S QUIRK._

”Oh, sweet one!” sighs the lover, ”Could I but this discover,-- Thy breast so softly moving, Will it ever cease from loving?”